


(In another life) would you be my girl?

by dontshootmesara



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: 10 Things I Hate About You AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Mild Smut, Multi, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-01-04 00:26:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21188498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontshootmesara/pseuds/dontshootmesara
Summary: Sara scratched her head and started thinking to herself, "Ray and Nora are getting married and Ava will be one of Nora's bridesmaids. The same Ava that I haven’t seen since 2004."OrWhat happens when Sara and Ava meet again after years without seeing each other?





	1. wait for me to come home

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> Have you ever had those moments when you watched these romantic movies with f / m couples and wonder: damn, with a f / f couple would be so good! Well,that's why I decided to write this story.
> 
> I'll be forever thankfull to @LadyXana and @darhkatoms for helping with my writting and being my beta readers in this chapter. I know they had a lot of work because English isn't my first language so they really helped and gave me more confidence to publish this story, and of course to my friends who always had an open mind to listen to my dumb ideas. o/
> 
> So I hope y'all liked.

_ Flight to Star City (2019) _

Drumming her fingers against her left leg, Ava stared impatiently through the airplane window. She was flying back home. Well, not home. She had been living in New York city for a month and before that she was in Chicago, and before that in Europe, and before that… It’s a long story.

“Hi! How are you, dear?” Someone greeted, bringing her back to reality. She smiled at the old lady sitting next to her. 

“I know you,” the woman said, getting a good look at Ava. “Your face looks very familiar to me.”

“Really? I don’t know, ma’am. I have very common features, you’re probably mistaking me for someone else,” Ava brushed it off as she tucked her hair back behind her ear.

“Please, call me Janett. And of course I know you! You are Randy Sharpe’s daughter. Well, one of them.”

_ Oh God, she knows my family. I’m stuck on a flight with one of my father’s friends. Why does the universe hate me?! _ Ava sighed, leaning against her seat.

“Are you okay?” The older woman asked with worry. “It’s Ava, right? Are you going to Nora’s wedding? Oh, Randy will be so happy!” 

Ava ran her fingers through her hair, trying to come up with some answer.

“Well…” 

“Oh please, sweetheart, tell me about the wedding!” The woman was really invested. 

***

_ Star City, _

_ Sara's Apartment _

At 9:00 o’clock, the alarm started to go off. 3 times. She fumbled around the surface of her bedside table, searching for her phone. Sara opened her eyes, looking at the missed calls.

8 missed calls from _ Ray_.

"Fuck ..." She said, remembering that Ray had asked her for a favor. She opened the water bottle that was on the table and took a sip from it as she walked to the bathroom.

Sara looked at the bathroom mirror, smiling at herself. She didn’t look that bad, which was a bonus after the night she had. Two shifts in a row, three hours apart. Despite that, she still had some cramps but nothing she hadn't dealt with before. 

She picked up her phone once she finally decided to call Ray back.

“Sara, I really hope that you are at the airport by now.” the man sounded nervous, “My mom is arriving on the 10 am flight. Come on Sara, you promised!”

“It’s okay buddy, we’ve got time. I’m about to take a shower and get dressed so I’ll be there in 30 minutes.”

“Thank you, Sara.” He said, giggling through the phone. “I’m so nervous. I can’t believe I’m gonna marry her.” 

“Well, you need to start believing it,” Sara laughed before adding, “You eventually will. Just two more weeks to come and all the stressful situations will be finished.” 

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Ray started to ramble. “Nora’s anxious, with all the people coming to the wedding… And Ava confirming her presence at the last minute, ugh! Nora almost killed her.” 

“Ray, Ray, just take it easy. I’m going to end the call now, okay? Please don’t freak out. Everything is gonna be fine.”

“Right, right. Sorry.”

“Okay, just relax. Don’t forget to breathe: mouth closed, inhale slowly through your nose, purse your lips like you’re going to whistle, then slowly exhale by blowing the air through your lips. ”Sara explained to him and Ray repeated her commands, “Now focus on that pattern.” 

“Okay”.

“I’ll see you in an hour and a half. We are going out for lunch. You, me and your mom at Alfredo’s, okay?” Sara told him, bringing up their schedule as a way of trying to stop Ray from overthinking. It was a really good thing that she managed to take the week off from the hospital to help him with everything. 

“I don’t know what I would do without you, Sara.” Ray sighed. 

“Well, luckily you don’t have to find out. Now stop being so emotional. You’re gonna cry a lot while this week isn’t over so don’t waste your tears on me.”

Ray laughed at her words before she continued. “See you later, Ray.”

“See you.” 

Sara scratched her head and started thinking to herself, _ "Ray and Nora are getting married and Ava will be one of Nora's bridesmaids. The same Ava that I haven’t seen since 2004." _

She turned on the water and after wrapping her hair on a loose bun, she entered the shower stall, “_ And now, after all these years we will meet again, and in the most chaotic situation possible.” _ Sara let the waterfall over her neck and across her body. She took a deep breath and thought, “ _ It's only two weeks and then Ray and Nora will be on their honeymoon and everything will be over. And who knows? Ava probably doesn’t even remember me, so there’s no need to be thinking about the woman.” _

Except, she was thinking a lot about Ava lately. It had been so long since they last saw each other and she couldn't help but think about how Ava was, what she was doing, whether she had married or was maybe dating someone. Of course, she knows the small news about Ava, things she heard from Nora occasionally, or even from Dr. Sharpe when they were in the hospital, but she always tried to be casual when they brought up the subject. 

It was possible that one part of her was excited about seeing Ava again, and talking to her, maybe, but the dominant part was afraid. Sara sighed. She was thinking way too much and that wasn’t her thing, she needed to work out and maybe pick someone for a date.

_ “Yes, that's it,” _ Sara thought. At night she could go to the gym and after that, she was going to meet the guys at the bar for a couple of drinks and maybe get lucky in finding someone to take home for the night. 

Sara finished her shower and got ready to go to the airport.

***

_ 10:00 A.M., on the plane. _

“Ugh, I love weddings”, the woman continued. Ava was trying really hard not to look annoyed. 

“Yeah, it’s going to be a beautiful wedding, I suppose," Ava tried to look invested in the conversation. “Ray and Nora are really in love with each other, I mean, I’m not constantly in touch with them but…”

"That’s nice but tell me more about you. The last time I talked to your father he told me that you were a famous journalist."

"I- Janett, don't listen to him. My father has the habit of amplifying things when he's talking about his kids, it’s not that big of a deal."

"Oh please. I think he's probably right when it comes to you," Janett said as she smiled at Ava. "So… Anyone special in your heart?"

_ Oh fuck me, _ Ava thought.

***

Sara was putting Sandy's suitcase in her trunk when she saw Randy Sharpe walking through the parking lot towards the airport entrance and on that second her heart skipped a beat.

"Sara, hello!" The man greeted her with a polite smile.

"Ah, Mr. Sharpe, what a nice surprise!"

"Randy! Hello!" Ray's mother said addressing him with a smile of her own.

"Good morning Sandy!" He said shaking her hand, keeping his eyes on Sara. "Nora told me you were flying to Star City today, but she didn’t tell me it was this morning. It’s nice to see you."

"I was able to reschedule my flight yesterday."

"Oh, that's great! And Sara, please call me Randy. I don’t want to feel like an old man." Ava's father told her as he smiled at her. 

"Well, I have to go now. Ava must be waiting for me and she hates to be kept waiting." He explained, looking at his phone. "See, she's already calling me. I’m doomed." He showed them his phone and Sara smiled when she saw the contact picture Randy had of Ava.

Sara kept looking at him and her heart was starting to beat very fast. _ Why am I like this? There is no reason to be excited about someone I haven’t seen in so long. _

"I better go before she gets nervous," Randy waved at the women. "See you girls around."

"Bye Randy!"

"Goodbye."

Sara sighed with relief as she watched the man’s retreating form.

***

** _Star City, 2004_** **.**

_ “You guys are losers.” _

_ “Come on, Ava, it’s not that bad. It’s just a prom.” Lily said, placing her tray on the cafeteria table. _

_ “It’s not just prom Lily, it’s the pillar that sustains our society.” Ava snorted, “It’s everything that is wrong with…” _

_ “When you think she can’t be more dramatic,” Zari said, sitting next to Ava. “Look, Ava, I know you don’t like it. I get that, I don’t like it either; so I’m gonna propose a solution for you. It’s very simple actually, are you ready? Just don’t go! There’s no need to be complaining about it all the time.” _

_ “I-” Ava took a deep breath, looked at Lily and pointed to Zari, “Why are we friends with her?” _

_ Lily laughed at her friend. _

_ “How many times are you gonna ask that? And… She’s right, just forget about prom.” Lily put her hand over Ava’s, “Try to focus on things you can actually change.” _

_ “Sorry, Z. You’re right. I don’t know, it's just this whole situation with Nora... It’s getting on my nerves.” _

_ "Good morning, ladies!" Gary saluted them as he approached their table. " Saturday night, my house, we're gonna play dungeons & dragons!" _

_ "I'm in!" Zari promptly replied. "Who else are you gonna invite?" _

_ "Hm… Let me see, Ray, Charlie and John?" Gary had an excited look on his face, “I invited more people, of course, like Wally and Jacob but I don't know if they can come yet." _

_ Zari looked at Gary with interest, " What about Charlie? Do you think she is gonna show up?" _

_ "Yes, she will," Gary smirked at her. "Why are you so interested?" _

_ "It's nothing." Zari had an awkward smile in her face, it was pretty clear she was trying to hide something. _

_ "I could introduce you to her if you want to." _

_ "Please don't," Zari was blushing, "I don't need you to embarrass me." _

_ "What?!" Gary sounded offended. " Please tell me one time I did something like that."_

_ "Do you want the list? I could tell you a thousand times you did that." Zari replied, taking a bite of her donut._

_ "Come on, guys." Lily pleaded with them._

_ "Ava, say something!" Gary and Zari yelled at the same time looking for Ava’s support._

_ "Don't expect me to be in the same room as John Constantine," Ava finally said. "Last time that happened he almost burned down your basement! Why are you inviting him again, anyway?"_

_ "Well, he's cute." Gary started to blush a little bit._

_ Ava rolled her eyes at her friend’s words. _

_ "Anyway, I have been meaning to ask if you guys know this girl called Sara Lance?" Ava continued to look at her book, writing down some notes before she replied, "She's my partner in Chemistry Lab, but yesterday we had our first class and she didn't show up."_

_ "You don’t know THE SARA LANCE? How can you not know who Sara Lance is?!" Gary was in shock. "She's like a legend." _

_ "I don't have time for legends, Gary." She simply said. "But since you already started…Tell me more about this Lance girl." _


	2. I'm feeling like I have missed you all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lHello Guys!
> 
> Like I said, chapter two is up o/ hope y'all like it. 
> 
> Thanks to @LadyXana for beta reading this!!

Randy Sharpe was excited. Standing at the arrivals hall holding a poster with the words ‘_ Welcome home, Ava’ _scribbled on it. It has been almost two years since the last time he saw her, and of course they called each other every day, even if it was just to say good night, but it wasn’t the same thing as having her by his side.

He cared about what happened in Asia. She spent three months there and didn’t talk about her experiences, the only thing he knew about her job was through her photographs and articles that occasionally appeared on magazines. Randy hoped Nora’s wedding would make Ava open up and feel more close to them. The crowd at the airport gradually drifted away and as he saw her, walking distractedly, it was as if she were nine again.

"Hi dad!" Ava came over and hugged him tenderly, "Ugh, I missed you so much!"

"My baby!" Randy sobbed, ruffling her hair, "You don't know how much we missed you!” 

The man held Ava's face with both hands, “Ugh, look at you! Jack, the skeleton... Oh my God, if your mother could see you right now she would say a lot to me.”

“Dad, come on, not now." Ava felt a little bit annoyed as she said it. “I just had the worst flight ever with your friend Janett by my side.” 

They started walking through the hall, “Did you know that she was very disappointed because she was not invited to the wedding?”

Randy laughed as they went off the arrivals hall to the parking lot. “That woman sure knows how to keep a conversation going. Did she ask you about your love life?”

“Oh, yeah. She was very invested in finding out who I’m gonna bring to the wedding as my date.” 

Stopping next to the car, Ava put her bags in the trunk, “I really don’t know why people are so interested in each other’s lives and, oh, she said that you told her I’m a journalist. Why?” 

“Nothing, I just show that article with you on it, she misunderstood, probably.”

“You really had to keep showing that to everybody? It had been months.”

“Well, I’m your father so… yes.”

After that Randy climbed inside the car, taking his place behind the steering wheel while Ava sat down on the seat next to him. They drove in silence for a couple of minutes until the man spoke again.

“Oh, speaking of dates, you will never believe who I just saw at the parking lot when I was on my way to pick you.” 

“Who?”

“Sara Lance, remember her? You dated her, senior year.” Randy kept his attention on the road, not noticing the surprised look on Ava's face. 

“She was looking for Ray's mom, Sandy, can you believe it? It was only a few minutes apart, but you two were in the same place.”

“I don’t know, dad. It was a long time ago.” Ava knew she would meet Sara at some point during Nora and Ray's wedding, but she thought maybe she would have time to prepare herself for that moment. 

“And we didn’t actually date. We only went out a few times.”

“Of course, baby.” Randy knew his daughter was lying, but he kept that to himself. This was not the right time to talk about it. The truth was, deep down he hoped that the two girls could give it another chance. 

He thought about the way Ava was when she was going out with Sara.

***

** _Sharpe's house, 2004._ **

_ Ava was in the living room studying for her Chemistry class. Her partner for the experiment didn't come to their first class and didn't even bother to look for Ava to explain the reasons why she didn't show up. _

_ “Hello, sweetheart," Randy greeted as he walked into the room. _

_ "Hi, dad." Ava greeted back. _

_ "How was your day? Made anyone cry?" He asked as he smiled at her. _

_ "Sadly no. But it's only 4:00 pm, so who knows?" The girl told him without taking her eyes off her book. After a few seconds, she looked up at him. "Hey, dad, I was wondering if anything arrived for-" _

_ While Ava was finishing her sentence, Nora came down the stairs. "Hey, Nor! How was school today?" _

_ “Ask her who brought her home today.” Ava said, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. _

_ “Who brought you home?” _

_ "Oh my Gosh, Ava!" Nora replied to the other girl, throwing a glare at her. _

_ “Asshole Travis.” Ava answered to their father, ignoring Nora. “He’s the worst.” _

_ "A boy? Interesting." Randy said looking between both girls. " Well, what’s the one house rule? No dating until you graduate." _

_ "Fine by me." Ava replied as she continued reading. _

_ "Of course it’s fine by you, you're socially dead." Nora said, then she made a dramatic pause and turned her head to Randy. “Dad, this is so unfair!” _

_ “Alright, you wanna know what is unfair?” He asked her before continuing. “This morning I delivered a baby to a 15 year old girl, and do you want to know what she said to me? _

_ “I don’t have a clue.” Nora answered with an annoyed look. _

_ “She said, and I quote: ‘I should have listened to my father.’” He told her with a solemn look on his face. _

_ “This is an absurd, she didn't say that." Nora scrunched up her face. _

_ "She would have, if she wasn't doped." _

_ "Come on, dad, this is so unfair! I am the only girl in school who’s not dating.” _

_ “Your sister doesn’t date.” Randy pointed at Ava. _

_ “And I don’t intend to.” Ava replied to both, even if she really wasn’t paying that much attention to their discussion. “Have you seen the kind of people that go to that school?” _

_ “Where did you come from?” Nora shot at her. “Planet loser?” _

_ “Better than the planet: ‘Oh I need attention, please someone love me!’” Ava acted dramatically. _

_ "Alright, alright. No fighting! The old rule is out." Randy elaborated, "I'm thinking of a new rule. Nora, you can go to dates and parties." _

_ "YES!" _

_ "...If she does." He smiled at them, pointing at Ava. _

_ "Oh, bite me!" Nora complained. _

_ " Watch your mouth, kid!" _

_ " I will die here! Come on, dad, she’s a weirdo!" _

_ Ava smiled, her voice laced with sarcasm. “How nice of you calling me a lesbian and a weirdo. I really appreciate that.” _

_ “Jeez, I didn’t mean that,” Nora replied, “What I’m trying to say is, what if she never dates?” _

_ “Then, you never date.” Randy smiled as he stated, “I’m fine with that.” _

_ "I am literally living under tyranny!" Nora dramatically yelled, throwing her arms in the air as she tried to make a point. _

_ Ava rolled her eyes, "You don't know what a tyranny is." _

_ "Let me tell you something, why don't you go find some girl crazy enough to date you so I can have some freedom?" _

_ Ava gathered her notebooks and books, exhaling as she went to the bedroom with Nora breathing angrily behind her. _

_ "You suck, Ava!” _

_ She closed the door before Nora could say another word. _

_ “Focus,” she said to herself very quietly, trying to control her breathing. “Forget it. Nora is a kid. Your father is just being a father. Next year this won’t be a problem.” _

_ Breathe in. _

_ Breathe out. _

_ “Keep going, Ava.” _

* * *

** _2019_ **

Ava was lying on her stomach on the bed, her legs covered by a blanket. She had been sleeping since they came back from the airport, after taking a ten minutes shower. She didn't even bother with drying her hair.

Suddenly, Nora ran into Ava's room and jumped over her. "Wake up, sucker!”

"Fuuuck, what the hell Nor!" Ava complained."Are you twelve?" 

“If I was twelve did you think I was able to get married in two weeks, baby?” She retorted, pressing Ava against the mattress. 

“Get off me, Nora!”

“No! You only arrived today and, according to my calendar, we are already late with some wedding details, so hurry up! You are one of my bridesmaids."

“But we'll only get to see my dress tomorrow.” Ava whined, putting her head under the pillow. “And it’s dark outside.”

"Yeah, I know, but Ray and his mom are coming over for food and drinks." Nora was way too excited. 

"Ugh, please don't tell me that I have to participate." 

" Of course you have to, perfect time for you and Ray to start bonding."

Ava finally sat on the bed, staring at Nora.

“Own, look at you little lion. You should have dried your hair.”

“You know I am older than you, right?” Ava paused. “You are not allowed to talk to me like I am a child.” 

“Alright, but only because I know dad already gave to you the ‘oh my God you look so skinny’ talk.”

“Ughh!”

“Now, dad and I will start dinner. Please, put on some clothes, brush your hair and take care of those bags under your eyes. Then come to meet us in the kitchen, we miss you." Nora told her before pressing a kiss against her forehead, “Don’t forget about what I said, I really need you and Ray to be closer. We’re gonna be a family soon.” 

Ava let out a heavy sigh and ran her hand through her hair. 

Nora asked her to do something she didn't know yet how to do, Ray would be her brother-in-law, but her pride was still hurt by what he and Sara did when they were in high school. _ It doesn't matter anyway _, she thought, trying to convince herself that she got over what had happened between Sara and her, and that she’s now an adult so why holding back these feelings of rejection?

As she got out the bed Ava looked around, letting the past break into her mind for a moment, bringing back old memories. She thought about who she was back then and who she is now. What happened in between. When she was 17, Ava was so sure about who she'd be. Her future was so clear and now? 

Well... She would never admit that for anyone, but she was not so sure about how life in Star City would be. The only certainties she had were: Her dad was getting older, her sister was getting married, and, eventually, she would have a baby and Ava needed to be there for her when the moment came. 

Ava stared at her reflexion in the mirror next to the window. She couldn’t stop thinking about Sara, about the first time she saw her, with her angel eyes and cute smile. Ava remembered when they were so close at the Chemistry Lab to the point that Ava was able to have a better view of Sara’s freckles and how hard it was for her to concentrate at the experiment after that. 

“Fuck...” She whispered, making her way to the bathroom. _ Well, the good thing was, _ Ava thought, _ she always build herself to protect her feelings and act like they never exist, so it wouldn't be hard to pretend she wasn't affected by Sara Lance and their past _.

She was wrong.

***

** _Star City, 2004 _ ** **.**

_ "I hope you all have come prepared with your notes, it will help you and your partner to run the experiment. Remember, the methodology should provide a product with seventy percent purity, so please pay attention at what you are doing. And don’t forget, the reagents are dangerous so don't try to be a smarty kid, okay Nathaniel?” Mr. Shaw explained. "And again, don’t forget that the pairs will have to work together and write an essay about it. Now, take your materials and follow me to the Lab.” He finished the sentence by living the room. _

_ Ava stared at the Lance girl for a minute while she was packing her things to go to the Lab. She only knew Sara from things Gary had said to her and, according to him, the girl was kinda popular and very good-looking. She was openly bi since she was 14 and she was a total badass. She even might be involved in some illicit activities that happened at school, such as pressing the fire alarm, turning on the courtyard sprinklers during lunchtime; spent a few months in jail and ocasonally smoked pot under the bleachers with Nate and Charlie. Ava didn't know if the things Gary said were all true or if he was creating something bigger than it was, but, the fact that the girl hadn't looked for Ava to talk about their experiment today was proof enough that she was irresponsible. _

_ "Hey, are you there?" The girl snapped her fingers. _

_ "Ugh, what do you want?" _

_ "Ava Sharpe, right?" The girl pointed to Ava. _

_ "Yes." _

_ Then she pointed to herself, " Sara Lance, I am your partner." _

_ "I know who you are." _

_ "Do you?" Sara smirked. "I mean, cool." _

_ "Yes, of course. We should already be working and bringing our notes to this class, but you didn't show up." _

_ "Why didn't you come to me if you were so worried about that?" _

_ "What?! It's your interest, why would I be the one looking for you?” Ava continued, “The rule is, those who missed the class should be the ones to run after who was in class.” _

_ “There is no such rule," Sara crossed her arms against her body, "You just made that up.” She slightly smiled at Ava. _

_ Ava was staring at her, finally noticing her freckles. Well Gary was totally wrong. She was not only good looking, Sara Lance was incredibly beautiful. _

_ “What are you looking at Sharpe? See something you like?” _

_ Ava narrowed her eyes, trying to come up with an answer. She brought her face closer to Sara's, showing the difference in height between them. “I am surprised how clueless you are Lance,” she finally said before she made her way to the Lab. _

_ Sara let out an exasperated sigh as she trailed after Ava. "Annoying girl." _

_ The class was nothing but horrible, if you asked them. The little confrontation they had on their way to the Lab made them arrive late which, for Ava, was an affront. She had to beg the teacher to let them attend class while Sara watched the whole scene with annoyance. If it was up to her, they were already in the Principal's office. She would never beg anybody to let her stay in a class, but she preferred to keep her mouth shut and let Ava handle the situation. _

_ “Thank you for your help over there." Ava addressed Sara, her voice laced with sarcasm. _

_ "Oh, I don't know, you were doing pretty well handling the situation by yourself." The smaller blonde shot back. _

_ "Of course." Ava forced a smile to the other girl then she stiffened, puffed out her chest and professionally said, “Now, to accomplish approximated results from what is described in the scientific literature, you should follow my lead regarding this experiment," Ava pointed to the equipments, "And this temporary partnership," then she moved her finger between her and Sara, "will soon be over." _

_ Sara was surprised by the way Ava spoke to her and by the amount of words the girl used in just one sentence. “Are you for real?” _

_ Ava blushed a little bit. _

_ Ava thought "Why is she trying to make everything so difficult?" _

_ “Look, Ava, I wanna do this as much as you do.” Ava tried to protest, “Contrary to your beliefs, I did study the experiment and I actually made some notes. Would you mind taking a look at them before acting like a judgmental bitch?” Sara shook some papers in front of Ava’s face, finally getting the girl's attention. _

_ “Okay.” _

_ Sara stared at her suspiciously. The fact was: the girl felt a little embarrassed when Sara asked if she was for real. She didn't pay much attention to what Sara said after that. _

_ Ava massaged the back of her neck, “Let’s just… Get this done.” _

***

_ “Would you calm the fuck down?” Nate asked Sara on their way to the cafeteria. They weren't walking; Sara was almost running as Nate was trying to keep up with her. The girl wanted to get away from the Chemistry Lab as quickly as possible. _

_ “Annoying girl! Who does she think she is?” Sara raged. Finally entering the cafeteria they saw Ray, already in line to grab lunch. “Hey, Ray!” _

_ “Okay, again, are you talking about Ava?” Nate asked. _

_ “Who’s Ava?” Ray asked with a puzzled look on his face. _

_ “You should know, it’s your imaginary girlfriend’s sister.” Nate said looking at Ray. _

_ “She’s not my imaginary girlfriend, but whatever. What’s going on with Ava? Is she in trouble?” _

_ “She is the trouble. I cannot believe you like her sister.” _

_ “I already told Ray, the Sharpe-Darhk sisters are untouchable. Their father is crazy, he doesn’t let them date.” Nate said, completely bored. “And by what I know by now, they both suck.” _

_ “Hey, don’t talk like that about Nora! She’s pure.” Ray turned around to look at where Nora was sitting and stared at her, “She’s everything that’s good in this world.” He said with a dreamy look in his face. _

_ “Hello mates! What’s going on?” Charlie sat at their table. _

_ “Well, Ray is in love, Sara is pissed. Same old, same old.” Nate replied. _

_ “Nora Darhk, huh? Fun fact, Gary told me that Ava told him that Nora needs a math tutor.” _

_ “Do you know Ava Sharpe?” Sara asked, her eyebrows deep in a frown. _

_ “No. I Know Gary Green who is friends with Ava Sharpe. Why?” Charlie perked up, turning her head to Sara. _

_ “Ugh, nothing. That girl pissed me off today, that’s all.” _

_ “Anyway, Nora needs a math tutor. Do y'all know anyone good at Math who can help her?” Charlie asked as they all specifically stared at Ray. _

_ "Ohhhh, I'm good at Math!" He finally regained his reason and answered, raising his right arm. _

_ "Great! Now all you have to do is talk to the girl and say you will help her. Take the opportunity to get closer to her and make your move. You’re welcome." Charlie told him with one of her trademark smirks. _

_ "But she isn't allowed to date until she graduates." _

_ "Well, take your time then." Charlie said as she took some potato chips from Nate’s. _

_ Sara finally woke up from what might have been a daydream, “Okay, what if I put weed in Ava’s locker aaaand report her to the Principal? Do you guys think this might get her head out of her pretentious ass?” _

_ They simply stared worried at her, not a single word being spoken. _

***

_ At the end of the class Ray waited for Nora to show up in the parking lot. He was a little nervous to talk to her, they had only shared a few words in random moments so he was trying to not make a total fool of himself. _

_ “Hi, Ray! What’s up?” _

_ “Ehrm... Hey, Nora! Are you okay?” _

_ “Yes…” She smiled, “Are you?” _

_ “Oh, yeah... Hmm, listen.. Charlie said you needed some help with Math.” _

_ “Well, yeah... Are you offering?" Nora had talked to Ray a few times and already realized he could maybe have a crush on her. _

_ "Yes!" He flashed her his brightest smile, "I'd love to." _

_ “Cool, hmm.” Nora opened her notebook to check her schedule. “Why don't we meet at the library tomorrow. I don't know, at 1 pm?” _

_ "It's a date!" Then he realized what he had said and quickly corrected himself, "Well, it's not a date. I know you're not allowed to date..." _

_ "It's fine, Ray, don't worry. And for the record, I'm allowed to date now." _

_ "Seriously?" _

_ "Yes, if my sister does." _

_ Then her ride appeared. "I have to go. See you tomorrow?" _

_ "Yes, of course." He smiled at her again. She was getting used to that. _

* * *

They were at the living room. Randy and Sandy were having a conversation about Nora and Ray when they were little kids. 

_ “Randy and Sandy,” _ Ava thought, _ “what a duo.” _ She smiled a little, rolling her eyes. Nora and Ray seemed to find a waste of time to spend more than a minute without gazing at each other. It was... Cute. Ava wondered if she had ever been in those kinds of relationships, one where you are hopelessly in love. She thought she felt something close to it in the past, but anything she thought she felt, the other person involved thought differently. She sighed and leaned back into the couch, finishing her glass of wine. 

Getting up from the couch to get another bottle, she missed the moment Nora poked Ray to go talk with her. 

“Hey, you.”

“Oh, Ray.” She replied, putting her hand in her back pocket. "Is everything okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah. How are you?" 

"Not bad."

“You know...” He took a deep breath, “I was wondering, now that we’re gonna be brother and sister-in-law, we should spend more time together.”

“Of course.”

“Great.” Ray nervously said.

"Good.”

Silence fell upon them after that.

Ava took a couple of sips of her wine before finally breaking it, “Maybe we should get back there?" 

“Totally.”

That was... Weird. Ava knew about Nora's plan to make her and Ray bond and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to be closer to Nora now that she would be living in Star City. However, they still shared a bad memory about their Prom night from High School. And ever since then, during the few moments they met, Ray has always been extremely polite around her and, for her annoyance, a little embarrassed too. All she didn't need was Nora's fiancé to feel sorry for her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Ray's mom’s voice. 

"So, Ava, is there someone special in your life?" 

***

"What do you say I order something for us?" Sara took a last look in the mirror before she left the bathroom, “Oh, you’re leaving?” The other woman asked with surprise. 

Sara walked to the table where she had left her phone and wallet, ““Yeah, I have to go.” 

“Of course,” the stranger scoffed, returning to bed, “Please close the door on your way out.” 

Sara took a deep breath and left.

She called for an Uber while she was leaving the building. Sara got in the car and, after fastening her seat belt, she rested her head against the back seat. Maybe the tiredness she claimed not to be feeling was finally coming to her. Letting out a weak chuckle, she turned her head to look out at the window next to her. The neon lights coming from the street billboards danced around her skin as she let the light patterns play with her mind before she closed her eyes.

“What a day...” she sighed.

“Need something, ma’am?”

“ Oh, no, I’m sorry. Just thinking to myself.”

She took a look at her phone. _ 5 missed calls _.

3 from Laurel. 2 from Ray. 

She was one hundred percent sure Ray wanted to convince her to go to dinner at Nora’s house. She had declined the invitation, not only because she didn’t want to see Ava - she kept saying to herself - but also because it wasn't a good day to have dinner with Nora and Ray, while they were being such lovebirds. And as if that wasn’t enough, there was also the fact that their parents were being so damn extra about the wedding.

“You have arrived, ma'am.” The Uber driver’s voice interrupts her thoughts. 

“Thank you. Here,” She said as she paid him. “Please, keep the change.”

As the door closed behind her back, Sara walked through the hall and left the keys at the kitchen's counter. The lights were dimmed so she thought that maybe she was alone. Charlie had said something about going out, but then she heard a laughed and a _ ‘shush!’ _ coming from the corridor. Sara smiled as she moved towards the living room to choose something to drink, “Charlie, I’m home. Just saying.” 

“Heey, you came home early.” Charlie said, "How was your date?" She leaned against the wall in the hallway watching Sara turning around to go to the kitchen. 

"Good. How about yours?" Sara raised her eyebrows and nodded to the corridor. "Sounds like it’s still going, uh?"

"Ahm, that? Nah. It was just my TV."

Sara was standing in front of the fridge, grabbing what was left of the red wine. 

“Really?” She asked with a playful tilt to her voice. Charlie couldn't see her face but she could feel, for sure, Sara's characteristic smirk by the way her voice sounded. 

"Yep. By the way, Laurel called you." Charlie looked suspicious, "And, I know it's not my business, but she sounded like you have been avoiding her calls."

"Yeah, you're right. It's not your business." Sara really didn’t want to talk about that with Charlie, and besides it was nothing serious, Laurel wanted to schedule a dinner with her and their parents which was something Sara didn't want to attend, so she would avoid her sister until Laurel accepted her decline to that nonsense. 

The door opened again, with Mona and Ray talking about something that the other women couldn’t understand. 

“... So at the end of the night she just said that: ‘We don’t need to be friends, but we can be friendly with each other when Nora is around.’” Ray was looking slightly relieved when they entered the kitchen. “Hello, ladies!” He smiled brightly. 

“That lady is cold!” Mona said.

“Who are you talking about?” Charlie asked them as she sat on the couch.

“Nora’s sister, Ava.”

Okay, forget about the wine. Sara suddenly needed some bourbon. 

“Oh, we know her. Well, we used to... In the past, we went to High School together.” Charlie explained to Mona. 

“Aww, that’s cute. All you guys, hanging out together like the cool kids.”

“Well, we were the cool kids. Ava was a judgmental nerd.” Sara finally said. 

“Hey, don’t say bad things about your ex-lover.” Charlie grinned as she nodded at Sara.

“Oh my God! WHAT?” Mona stared at Sara, her eyes twinkling in amusement. “Tell me everything!”

Sara shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell. We went out a couple of times and that's it.”

“She’s lying. Ava was her date at the Prom, everyone thought they were in love and-”

“Charlie, I thought I heard some noise coming from your room. Should I go and check it for you?”

Charlie looked at her, understanding the message implied. 

“Oh my Gosh! You two are gonna meet again at the wedding! It will be so romantic, just like some cheesy movie.”

“Well, they had a harsh break up so I think they need to talk, you know?” Ray observed as he scratched his jaw. “To be honest, if Sara and Ava started to date again I guess it would be good for me and Nora. Ava wouldn’t be so emotionally distant.”

“...Okay, enough, all of you! Ray, it’s late, buddy. You don’t live here, so go back to your apartment. Mona, you are forbidden of talking about Ava, me and romance in the same sentence, understood? And you, Charlie...” Sara turned around to look at the other woman. “I don’t know who’s the woman in your room, but she must be asking herself why you’re here talking about my life instead of doing her.” Sara said before bringing her hand up to rub at her temples. “I’m going to my room.”

She stretched her back as she entered the room, placing the bourbon bottle on top of the dresser next to the door. She took off her boots and then her jeans, lying on the bed. Sara was really tired, the day had been too much to handle. She had to be polite to Ray's mother at lunch, listening to all the small talk about weddings, the questions about her work at the Hospital, the memories of the old days when they were teenagers when Ray used to help her out with Math and how amazing of a man Ray became. 

In the evening, she went to a bar for a couple drinks with the barista she had met the day before. They drank, talked and the girl ended up inviting Sara to her apartment. Sara's first thought was to decline the invitation, but Laurel started calling her and... Well... Sara really didn't want to talk to her sister right then, so she followed the girl to the streets. It was a dumb decision, she already knew that before getting in the cab with the girl, but sometimes, when Sara faced difficult situations, she would rush to something that could clear her mind and make her forget, even if it was for only a brief moment. 

Sara hadn't seen Ava yet, but her presence in Star City brought out certain feelings that Sara had locked away in a box. It had been hard not to think about the time when they met and everything that had happened since then. How that got her to the place where she's standing now.

She remembered that night, when everything had changed. The person she was now, the person she was always craving to be. Not only because of what happened between her and Ava, but because of what happened after she tried talking to Ava. 

After a couple of hours trying to sleep Sara eventually gave up. With a resigned sigh she left the bed. The blonde took a minute staring at her closet and then chose an old College T-shirt, sweatpants and some sneakers. She went out of her bedroom as she placed her earphones on.

“Bloody hell, Sara! What are you doing?” Charlie’s heart skipped a beat. “It’s almost 3am, why are you dressed like you are gonna run a marathon?”

Charlie asked, hand still holding at the doorknob.

“Why are you standing at the door like that?” Sara ignored Charlie and looked at her phone, choosing the music she would listen to while she went for her run. "Wait, is your girlfriend leaving now?"

“What?” Charlie looked confused as she walked back to her bedroom, “ You know... I’m always amused by your ability of answering my questions with another question."

"Yeah, it takes years of practice. See you later."

Sara left her building for the third time that day. She inhaled, holding her breath for a few seconds before letting it out slowly. 

After that, she started to run.

* * *

** _2004_ **

_ "Look, we have to write an essay with today's experiment's results, to be delivered next class. You will write something about these three topics," Ava pointed at her notebook, "and show it to me on monday. I'll fix the mistakes and use them with what I wrote." _

_ Then she offered her hand to Sara, going in for a handshake. _

_ Sara was slightly taken aback, once again, at the polite and bossy way Ava spoke to her. _

_ "You are one of a kind, huh?" _

_ "I don't get it." _

_ "You will see me soon, Ava Sharpe, don't worry.” She said it as she leaned close enough to the taller blonde, making Ava tighten her lips. _

_ “Annoying girl.” Ava said, once she was alone on the corridor. _

  



	3. Take that look from off your face 'cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava opened her locker to grab the History book for her first class when she notices a bunch of papers placed together on top of it. She decided to give them a quick read. 
> 
> “Wait... She wouldn’t do it.” Ava angrily said.
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “Argh!! She did!”
> 
> “Who did what?”
> 
> “Sara Lance.”
> 
> “Hello, Sharpe.” Sara greeted as she came from the place she was hiding with Charlie to confront Ava.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good afternoon, everyone :) 
> 
> I know it's been awhile and I'm sorry for taking so long to update this fic. I had troubles with my creative skills in this work last year but I think that this difficult time has passed, I hope hahaha. I just want y'all to know that I'm not giving up on this and I had a good time writing so idk hahaha I hope y'all liked it. 
> 
> And I want to thank @LadyXana for being the beta-reader, your help gave me the confidence to publish :)
> 
> 1\. YESS it's based on the movie 10 things I hate about you, well, with some changes. I hope y'all were having fun.  
2\. This fic happens in two timelines 2004 and 2019 and the events are mixed.  
3\. English isn't my first language so, please, have patience with me.  
4\. A WARNING: This chapter has a scene of homophobia with Ava in her classroom.  
5\. The chapter title is from the song "don't look back in anger by Oasis"
> 
> Anyway, enjoy it.

_ It was a Monday morning, Sara was standing at a safe distance from Ava's locker. She got to school early that day, to give a little surprise to Ava and now she was waiting for the girl to see her reaction. Sara was sure it would be worth the time she spent doing it once she sees Ava's arrogant jaw-dropping. _

_ “What are you doing standing here?” Charlie appeared in front of her.  _

_ “Nothing." Sara was way too invested in Ava's locker.  _

_ Charlie raised an eyebrow at her friend. _

_ "I may have made something and then placed it in Ava's locker. Now I'm just waiting to see her reaction." _

_ "Wait… Is this the reason you didn't come hang out with us this weekend? Man, this girl messed with you."  _

_ "Could you please move? You're blocking my sight." Sara demanded.  _

_ Charlie moved next to Sara as they waited for the taller girl’s reaction. "I can’t wait to see how you gonna set yourself in trouble this time.” _

_ “Well, sorry to disappoint you but this time I’m not getting in trouble,” Sara smirked. She kept her eyes on the locker. “She’s coming, shush.” _

_ “I’m telling you, it’s getting worse! Now my dad has made up this new rule about how she can date but only if I do too.” Ava approached her locker as she and Zari were talking. “Now Nora’s not talking to me. She’s giving me the silent treatment and her usual judgmental looks.” _

_ “Have you ever considered asking someone out and go on a date, just one, so she can move on with that?” _

_ “I will not encourage her bad behavior, Z.” She frowned. “Besides, there are no girls for me at this school.” _

_ “How can you be so sure-” Zari was about to ask but got interrupted. _

_ Ava opened her locker to grab the History book for her first class when she notices a bunch of papers placed together on top of it. She decided to give them a quick read.  _

_ “Wait... She wouldn’t do it.” Ava angrily said. _

_ “What?” _

_ “Argh!! She did!” _

_ “Who did what?” _

_ “Sara Lance.” _

_ “Hello, Sharpe.” Sara greeted as she came from the place she was hiding with Charlie to confront Ava. _

_ “How dare you mess with my stuff by opening my locker?! That’s a violation! And what on Earth made you think you could write our essay all by yourself?! This is unscrupulous, arrogant and-" _

_ " … And you forgot to say that I made you look bad."  _

_ "You know what? I'm pretty sure you just broke the code about violating other students’ lockers. I will report you to the Principal!” _

_ "You're unbelievable! You just walk around here making up some rules that no one ever heard about!" _

_ "Actually, she's right about that," Zari said approaching them.  _

_ "Yeah, mate." Charlie agreed, looking at the other girl. "I'm Charlie, by the way." _

_ "Yeah, I know." _

_ "Really? That is not fair, I don't know who you are." _

_ Zari giggled at the curly-haired girl.  _

_ "Okay, what are you two doing?" Ava asked as she motioned between Zari and Charlie.  _

_ "Oh please, Sharpe! Are you this clueless?" _

_ "It doesn't matter anyway... Lance, why did you write the essay?" _

_ "Well I thought… Since you," Sara nodded at Ava as she slipped her hands inside her side pockets, "Work so much on our class, it was the least I could do." _

_ "You're lying. You just wanna see me pissed me off! And how did you get this?" She raised her hand holding the papers at Sara, "Did you pay someone to write it?"  _

_ "What?!" _

_ Ava narrowed her eyes as she waited for Sara to give her a second answer. _

_ "I wrote it. All by myself." Sara leaned towards Ava, looking into her eyes, "Why can't you accept that I am better than you at Chemistry?" _

_ Ava opened her mouth and quickly closed it. "That is not the point…" _

_ Zari was getting bored with all the arguing, but somehow she couldn't stop watching.  _

_ "Hey, what about we let these two losers here? Otherwise we're gonna miss our first class, you know.." Charlie got her attention by touching her left arm.  _

_ Zari looked at were Charlie's hand was, "Oh.. Yeah, sure."  _

_ Sara and Ava didn't even notice the other girls leaving, too caught up in their discussion.  _

_***_

_ Sara was a little late. She was talking with Charlie and John when the bell rang, and as usual, she wasn’t worried about it. When she got there, she opened the door trying not to attract any attention to her. She noticed how the class was discussing something before sitting at the back of the classroom, trying to figure out what the whole thing was about. _

_ “He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist, who squandered half his life… hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.” Ava replied and Sara’s attention fell solely on Ava's face. The way her jaw clenched tightly as she expressed her opinions; it was almost as if Ava was just waiting for someone's comment on her words.  _

_ “As opposed to a bitter lesbo, self-righteous hag, who has no friends?!” Someone spat. Sara didn’t know him, she had missed some Literature classes and when she did go to attend them, they were so boring that her mind immediately turned off as soon as the teacher started to talk. Therefore, she really didn’t know any other students except for Nate, and now, Ava.  _

_ “Who is this dickhead?” She thought to herself.  _

_ Sara watched how Ava’s hand tightened into a fist over the table. _

_ “Why don’t you shut your mouth and mind your own fucking business, loser?!” Sara suddenly yelled at him from her sit and all the other students turned to face her, surprise evident on their faces. Except for Ava. _

_ “Who do you-”  _

_ “Settle down, Travis,” the teacher spoke, “and Lance, I’m glad you finally found time to come to my class. Now go to the Principal’s office immediately because as you should know by now, you’re not allowed to swear inside the classroom.” _

_ Sara let out a bitter scoff, “He deserved it!” _

_ “As I said, you’re not allowed to swear in my class, Lance.” _

_ “Well then, I guess in this society, being a man and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.” Ava finally spoke before turning around to look at Sara.  _

_ “Okay, you too Sharpe! Out of my class!” The teacher told her, a scolding look on his face. _

_ “Me?! Come on, Mr. Morgan!” Ava tried to reason with the man. She couldn’t believe she was actually being sent to the Principal’s office. _

_ “You started the whole thing,” the teacher complained. _

_ Ava grabbed her things and left the room, whispering ‘fuck’, while Sara just looked between their teacher and Travis before she went out looking for Ava. _

_ A few minutes after and they were at the entrance hall of the Principal's office. Ava was pacing around nonstop and it was driving Sara nuts. Sara leaned back in her chair and started to drum her fingers against her leg. How the hell did this happen? Last week she didn't know a thing about Ava Sharpe and now here they were. _

_ "Ava, sit down." Sara asked of her, "I don't wanna punch you." _

_ "What?" _

_ "Please."  _

_ Ava finally stopped, sitting down next to her. As she stared at all the dirt gathered on the carpeted floor, her blonde hair slid forward covering her face. An awkward silence fell between them.  _

_ “You shouldn’t have done that.” Ava was the first one to break it, complaining about the situation they now found themselves in. “You just made it all worse.” _

_ “Ava-” _

_ “I didn't need you to defend me.”  _

_ Sara’s eyebrows dipped together in a frown. “That guy was an asshole!” _

_ "I know! I-" Ava cut herself off, propping her elbows on her legs as she rested her head in her hands, a deep sigh escaping her lips as she tried to avoid Sara's eyes.  _

_ "What?" The shorter blonde asked, turning her neck to face Ava, but the girl was still staring at the pale brown wall _

_ "Nothing. Forget it." _

_ Sara let out a heavy sigh. _

_ “Did you think that was the first time I had to handle a homophobe? Or that what you say will make any difference Come on...” Ava whispered. _

_ The more time Sara spent with Ava, the more she was sure that she would never understand the girl. Why did she act the way she did? Sometimes so infuriating and at others so resigned. Sara wished she could tuck Ava's hair behind her ear to see her face better and maybe read the things Ava wasn't saying.  _

_ "Yeah. I really don’t get you, Sharpe.” _

_ "Yeah? Well, to be honest, I don't get you either," Ava continued as Sara scrunched up her nose in confusion, "I’ve seen that you are actually smart, but from the things I’ve heard about you… You acted like you didn't care so, what’s going on?” _

_ Sara kept looking at Ava, her eyebrows furrowed, trying to come up with an answer that would be good enough for the other girl to stop that kind of conversation.  _

_ “Look, Ava...” Sara hesitated “I don’t have to explain myself...” _

_ The Principal’s assistant entered the corridor, ending up interrupting Sara, “Mrs. Davis will see you two now.” _

* * *

It was a hot autumn afternoon when they arrived at the dressmaker studio. The dress was ready, but Ava still had to try it on and see if it would need any adjustments, and, obviously, Nora wanted to put on her dress and make sure that it fitted her perfectly. 

Ava kept looking at her reflection in the mirror as she tried to convince herself that she wasn’t looking as bad as she thought. The fact was, she hated being in a dress. She felt weird, like she wasn’t built to wear one and, well, Nora always said it was just her paranoia but every time she put on a dress she felt taller than she actually was. 

“Do I really have to wear this?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t like it?” Nora asked, voice dripping with sarcasm, “You’re my only family, and I have to plan all the wedding without you, and yet, here you are, complaining about fitting in a dress.”

“I already apologized, Nora. You don’t need to bring this up every time we disagree.” Ava sighed and glanced at Nora’s reflection in the mirror before she gave herself a once over one more time.

"I look ridiculous." She muttered, mostly to herself, but the other woman still heard it.

"Wrong! You look gorgeous," Nora tilted her head, looking to see if there were any defects on Ava's dress. When she was sure there were none, she added with a satisfied smile. “Stella's work is amazing, don’t you think? Look at that dress and look at you, Aves! You look so beautiful, sis.” 

"I'm not built to use these dresses, Nora, you know that." 

"Don't be silly, dear. Every woman was built to wear these dresses. It's in our DNA." Sandy took another sip of her champagne. "You are one of the bridesmaids, it's part of the tradition."

"I don't approve of traditions, Sandy." 

“Well, get used to it, baby. It's what you gonna wear to the wedding and that decision is final.” Nora finished as she gave a once over to Ava checking if there was anything left to do. 

“And you look stunning, dear! I heard that one of Raymond’s associates has a friend who likes women as well, and Nora was talking about introducing you two.” The older woman winked to Ava.

“OMG, NORA!” Ava gasped. 

“I told you not to talk about that until I got to spoke to her, Sandy.” Nora scolds at her soon to be mother-in-law. 

"Why are people so invested in my love life lately?" Ava rolled her eyes as she moved through the room, gesturing at Nora to unbutton her dress. "Did you forget the last time Ray got involved in my love life?"

"Wait, what happened?" Sandy asked, her interest peaking.

Nora let it out a heavy sigh as she unbuttoned Ava's dress, "I'm gonna put on my dress now." 

The brunette walked to the dressing room, letting Ava and Ray's mother alone. "So what happened?" The older woman insisted as Ava walked to a folding screen to put her clothes on.

"It's nothing, Sandy. Just teenage drama, nothing that deserves our attention. Especially yours..."

"Why bring that up then?" Ray's mom tried again as she offered a glass of champagne to Ava.

"Nothing. Just a reminder that Nora should stay away from my love life. Cheers?" Ava quickly rambled out as she made a toast, gulping her drink in one go.

Sandy frowned and replied, "Cheers." 

The frown on her face disappeared soon enough as she laid her eyes on Nora as she returned to the room.

"Oh my God, darling! I don't have words to express how beautiful you are!" 

Ava turned around to look at Nora.

"Nora..." She was almost speechless. "You look like a princess."

"Please, save your words for the wedding, when I have my hair and makeup done."

Ava laughed at her words. As Nora approached the mirror, Ava circled her arms around Nora's waist, hugging the brunette from behind as she rested her head over her sister’s shoulder. 

“Mom would be so happy to see you getting married to a person you love while looking this happy." 

A single tear ran Nora's face. It had been a long ride for her. To finally be the person she wanted, and Ray had a big part in it. His heart, the way he always saw goodness in people. 

"I'm not only marrying a person I love, I'm marrying my best friend." Nora wiped the tears that gathered in her eyes. 

"You're the luckiest. Well, you and Raymond are, kiddo." Sandy hugged her.

* * *

_ Nate and Sara were sitting by the bleachers, watching the soccer team practice. They had some free time so Sara had asked Nate to go outside with her. Sara was particularly quiet that day, Nate thought.  _

_ “Legends assemble!” Ray shouted as he sat next to them, "I need your help, guys!" _

_ "Stop calling us legends and I'll consider helping you," Sara said without taking her eyes from the field.  _

_ "Yeah, bro. People have to call us that, not us. Get it?"  _

_ "Yeah, I get it." He said scratching his head, "So, as I was saying, I need your help."  _

_ Sara kept watching the training, not paying any attention to Ray. _

_ "Remember when I said that I would help Nora with her Math classes?" _

_ "Yes." _

_ "So, we were talking and I guess she's into me as well." _

_ "Nice!" Nate shouted as he raised his hand at Ray for a high five. "I'm happy for you, buddy!" _

_ "Thanks, man! I’m thinking about asking her out but we might have a problem because of her dad, he's overprotective. But..." Ray lifted one finger before continuing, "She said she can only have a date if her sister does too."  _

_ "Ugh! Well, no one can say you didn't try." Nate said, trying to cheer him up. _

_ Sara still didn't pay attention to her friends’ conversation. She was aware it was about Nora and she was very tired of Ray’s chats about the girl. So, instead, she preferred to watch the girl’s soccer team playing. It was the only time Ava Sharpe couldn't be a total bitch; she was just a little spot far away from there, running from one end to the other on the green field. _

_ "Well, I was wondering if I could help find someone to date her sister... I know Ava is a lesbian, so it will probably be difficult to do so." _

_ "Aww, don't be such a pessimist." Nate touched Ray's arms as he nodded to Sara, trying desperately for Ray to get his message. _

_ Thankfully, or not - depending on the point of view - he eventually did.  _

_ "Hey, Sara..." Ray asked, stuttering a bit. _

_ "What?" Sara asked as she chewed on one of her cuticles while she observed the field in front of them.  _

_ "Anyone special in your life right now?" _

_ The girl finally looked at them, “Why are you asking me that?” The corner of her eyes crinkled, “What did I tell you about relationship questions?” _

_ “You told me not to bring them up.”  _

_ “Exactly. Why?”  _

_ “You don’t like to talk about it.”  _

_ “Very well. You do listen.” She told him, a sarcastic smile on her face.  _

_ “But this time I might need your help with something, Sara. Please.” Ray almost begged and Sara took some pity on him. _

_ “With what?”  _

_ “Well... As I was saying to Nate, I like Nora and I want to ask her out, but she’s not allowed to go on a date if her sister doesn’t date too. So…” Ray gestured to Sara, without finishing his sentence, implying the favor he was trying to ask of her. _

_ “Are you high right now?!”  _

_ “No! You know I don't do drugs! Well, I did once that night at Charlie’s house, but none of you told me about those delicious brownies with weed in them.” _

_ Nate laughed, “That night was awesome! Man, I miss our little reunions.” _

_ “Yeah, we should do it again.”  _

_ "Can we focus on my situation?" Ray stared at her desperately. “Sara, please seduce Nora's sister and date her.”  _

_ “Okay, are you really serious about this? Because this might be the stupidest idea you’ve ever had, and you once made me give a speech at a rat’s funeral.” _

_ Nate couldn’t help but laugh very loudly at that.  _

_ “We were supporting our friend just as you’re going to support me and my love life!” Ray looked at her with his puppy dog eyes. This was not fair. He's her best friend and of course, she wanted to help him. It had been a while since he developed feelings for another girl other than Kendra. Sara was happy for him. But did that mean that she should do it?  _

_ Not to mention, Nora is Ava Sharpe’s sister. _

_ “So what do you say? Will you help me?”  _

_ "You know, there are other girls in our school who like girls as well. Why does it have to be me?" _

_ "Well I don't know other girls, Sara. What could I possibly tell them? ‘Hey, are you into girls? if the answer is yes, do you wanna ask one on a date?’"  _

_ Sara rolled her eyes at that.  _

_ The point was that Sara and Ava shared a recent shift in their animosity. Sara thought the other girl was a total bitch, no doubt about it. But as she was starting to slowly realize, Ava was also quite interesting and extremely focused, a mixture of an angry and beautiful soul. All of this, of course, when she wasn’t being a pain in her ass. _

_ After giving it some thinking, Sara finally relented. “Okay, Ray, I’ll help you... However, I don’t know if this gonna work because she kinda hates me.” _

_ “Oh, come on, Cap! I know for sure you have a way with the ladies. There’s no way they can resist your natural charm.” Ray said as he wrapped his arm around Sara's shoulders, trying to encourage her. _

_ Sara looked back at the soccer field, searching for Ava. The game was over and the students started going to the locker room. She spotted Ava talking to someone who Sara assumed was her coach.  _

_ “Yeah, let's find out, shall we? Time to put the plan into practice, buddy!” She said before she winked at Ray.  _

***

_ “Hey, Ava. How are you doing?” Sara asked as she approached the girl, falling in step next to her. _

_ “Sweating like a pig as you can see. And you?” Ava replied, still trying to catch her breath after the intense practice.  _

_ “Now that’s the way to get a girl’s attention, huh?” The shorter blonde teased. _

_ Ava snorted at her remark before shooting back, “Yeah, my mission in life, Sara.” She gave the other girl a curious look, trying to figure out what Sara was trying to do. Was she flirting? Nah. Impossible. “But I guess I struck your fancy, so kinda worked, huh?”  _

_ Sara glanced over at her, smirking lightly. “Pick you up on Friday, then.” She said followed by a charming wink. _

_ “Pfft! Yeah, right.”  _

_ “I’m thinking of taking you to this amazing place…” Sara started but Ava promptly interrupted her as she placed a hand on her shoulder.  _

_ “Wait... Are you really asking me out?!” _

_ “Yes?” Sara looked confused at her.  _

_ Ava laughed. “A week ago we barely knew each other and now you’re asking me out?” _

_ “I know a lot of things about you already.” _

_ “Well, if you did, you’d know that I don’t go on dates and I’m absolutely not starting now. And most certainly not with you.”  _

_ “Why not?” _

_ Ava laughed at Sara’s question, but once she saw how serious the girl’s face was, she quickly composed herself. _

_ “Wait, are you really serious? What’s your idea, Sara?! You started this morning by pranking me with our Chemistry essay, then you defended me against Travis, and now this? What changed in the meantime? You realized that I’m into girls and wanna make a move on me?!” _

_ “What? I thought it would be nice to hang out with you outside of school and... Ugh, I don’t know... Does everything need to have a logical explanation for you?” _

_ “Yes!” Ava scoffed as if it was completely obvious.  _

_ “Ava...” Sara tried to stop her but it was in vain.  _

_ Sara let it out a heavy sigh as the taller girl walked away without giving her another look. That was... a fiasco. Sara thought, rubbing her temples.  _

_ Nate and Ray were at a safe distance from the two girls, watching them interact. _

_ “We’re so screwed,” Ray stated as he hid his face with his right hand. _

_ “Come on, bro. I don’t wanna hear that pessimist attitude.” Nate told him, trying to cheer him up.  _

_ “We’re screwed!!!” Ray tried again, with a forced smile on his lips. _

_ “There you go! Now let’s go talk to Sara.” _

_ “Hey, girl..” Nate carefully said. “How are you?” _

_ “How bad was it?” _

_ “Well.. on a scale of 1 to 10? Considering we weren’t listening to what you two were talking I would say, 7? _

_ “I told you it was a bad idea,” Sara poked Ray’s left arm, “I have never been so bad at talking to a girl before, Ray.” _

_ “Ouch! Come on, this isn’t my fault. You didn’t have to talk to her right now.” Sara kept frowning at Ray as he spoke. “Hey, come on, Sara.” Ray continued to speak as they followed her to the parking lot. “Look, I’ll talk to Nora, she’s Ava’s sister. She must know what Ava likes.”  _

_ “Okay, fine. I’m going home now and pretend that this moment with Ava never happened.” _

_ “Denial, huh? Smart,” Nate observed as they watched Sara get in her car. “By the way, wanna meet at the park in the evening with the guys?”  _

_ “I don’t know, things have been strange in my house lately.” Sara gave a quick look at the skyline “I’m gonna send you a text.”  _

* * *

It was 4 pm when Ava left the studio, Nora and Sandy were already in their way to meet Ray. She thought maybe it was a good idea to walk by herself to her meeting with Zari at the Botanical Park. It would give her some time to think and organize her schedule for the next days. Now that she was back in the city, this time…  _ permanently _ . 

It had been impossible to be alone since she had come back home. After the wedding, she would have to look for an apartment. Living in her old bedroom, in a ridiculous tiny bed with all those posters on the wall from her teenage years was like being watched by her young self.

She looked again at her phone to confirm where she would meet Zari. There were three new messages, her dad, Nate, and one from Zari saying that she will wait for Ava in a coffee shop located in the center of the Park. Ava stood in the middle of the bridge and started searching. Zari was sitting on one of tables closer to the lake, as if she could sense that Ava had just arrived, she immediately turned her head to the bridge and nodded at her friend, a smile plastered on her face.

“Ava Sharpe,” Zari greeted, getting up from her chair to hug her friend. “It’s been a while.” 

“Yeah. I missed you too, Zari.”

“Take a seat, I already ordered your coffee,” the brunette pointed the chair in front of her. “Do you remember the last time we saw each other?”

“Yes, we had dinner at that weird restaurant, in Budapest?” Zari nodded. "Anyway, it’s good to see you and, you know, leave my father’s home for a moment.”

Zari smiled. “Yeah, I can imagine that. Every single time the gang is reunited, it’s all that Nora and Ray can talk about.” 

"The gang, huh? You’re one of them now.”

“Well, you used to be one as well, remember?” Zari provoked, trying to read her friend’s face. Ava leaned against the chair and nodded, agreeing with what Zari said. 

“Yeah, and you remember how it ended, I hope.” 

“Ava..,”

The waiter arrived with their order, interrupting the conversation. Ava took advantage to glance at her phone and type a text answering Nate.

“She asked about you.”

“Who?”

“Sara.” Zari drank her coffee, waiting to see if Ava would ask about it, but she only turned her head to observed the lake. “I heard her asking about you to Nora, a couple of months ago. She tried to look casual but it was clear that she wanted to know if you would come to the wedding.”

“Sorry, huh, can we please not talk about her?” she asked. 

"Okay, I don't wanna bother you."

"It's just... you're the second person talking about her to me." Ava ran her hand through her hair, looking aside while she thought about what to say. "My father tried to start a conversation about her when I arrived and I don't know what's the point. This story’s in the past."

"Ava, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t bring this up. It’s the first time we see each other in years. How’s everything going?

Ava smiled, “It’s alright, I guess.”

"Did you already talk with Nate about the opening on the History department?"

"No. He texted me to schedule a meeting with him and one of the directors of the University after the wedding. I hope everything will be fine."

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be. Your curriculum is impeccable." 

"Hey, Zari… Nora told me about your divorce…"

"Now it’s my turn to avoid the subject."

"Come on, Z. How are you going to?"

"Well..." zari let it out a heavy sigh. "...My family isn't talking to me, only my brother and I thank the skies for that because I don't know how I would deal with everything without him." 

Ava waited. She knew Zari, it's probably the best to let the woman talk without asking anything.

"Everything is out of the place right now, everything I know, and I'm trying to be positive because it's Ray’s wedding and he's one of my best friends but sometimes all this conversation about love... ugh."

Ava laughed, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Believe me, and it's fine to feel like this." Ava touched Zari's hand, "Are you okay?"

"I will be, eventually.” The brunette woman gave a half-smile to Ava. “This was the best decision I had since I started to date Ervin. I’m feeling like my life is finally getting on track, after a long time of being numb.”

“I’m happy for you and seeing you now. Zari.. you have a glow, I don’t know. It’s almost like… There’s something else happening besides the divorce and your family.” 

“Wow, all those years playing board games finally served you, huh.”

“Yeah, I know you. There’s something… or maybe… Someone.”

“Do you want me to start talking about Sara again?”

  
  


//// Sara and Laurel met at the park with Sophie (Sara's niece) 

Sara opened the door of her apartment and let Laurel in, with Sophie attached to her hips. She spent the morning at the Park, playing with her niece and talking with Laurel who was invested in persuading her to have brunch with their parents on Saturday.

Sara really didn’t want to meet her parents. The Lances together would be something she doesn't want to deal with right now. The last time they were together was on Sophia's birthday and she still remembers her mother's comments about Laurel's pregnancy, Laurel's marriage, and how good of a mom Laurel was, it was just…  _ too exhausting _ to be close to them sometimes. 

"Why is it so difficult for you to have brunch with your family, Sara? You're not a teenager anymore, the time to behave like one is already gone." Laurel observed as she entered the hallway and placed Sophie's bag on the kitchen's balcony. 

"It's not about that, Laurel! It's about avoiding mom and avoiding all of us together. And why do we have to do this now? We didn't do it for years."

"Yeah, to be honest I don't know either, but here I am.” Laurel insisted. 

“It’s easy for you, you’re her favorite.”

"You’re wrong.” Laurel sat on the couch beside Sara, while they watched Sophie drawing on the coffee table. “I’m easier to deal with.” 

“It’s not my fault she questioned every decision I have ever made.”

“Yeah, when you were a teenager. Get over it.” 

Sara let out a huff. “Alright. I’m going, but I’m not gonna enjoy it.”

Sophie returned to the couch, carrying something on her tiny hands before handing it to Laurel.

“SERIOUSLY SARA?! A CIGARETTE BUTT?” 

“Ugh, sorry, it’s from John.” Sara scratched her head. “Charlie let him stay here for a while.” 

* * *

  


_ "She asked me out! Can you believe that?” Ava was on the phone with Gary talking about their History project and she couldn’t help but tell him what had happened that morning. _

_ “OMG!! SARA LANCE??” Gary enthusiastically exclaimed to her, “You said yes, of course?????”  _

_ “What? No! I said no! What’s wrong with you?” _

_ “Oh, come on, Ava. This is so dumb. You have the opportunity to go out with one of the hottest girls in our school and you simply walked away?”  _

_ “I don’t care about the way she looks. I just... We are different people and, besides, I don’t wanna be in a relationship right now.” _

_ “A relationship? You don’t have to propose to her, please.” _

_ “Have I ever told you that I don’t like the way you talk sometimes?” _

_ “Look, what I’m trying to say is... High school is coming to an end, maybe it’s good for you to experience something new before college. Think about it, okay?” _

_ “Yeah, fine.” _

_ She finished the call angry at Gary when she decided to tell him about the Sara Lance thing. Ava didn’t expect him to endorse such nonsense. So now she was starting to think that her reaction to Sara’s flirtation was a little too much.  _

_ Ava set her cell phone over the bathroom sink and finished pulling her hair back into a ponytail. Looking into the mirror once more, she found Nora's eyes judging her. _

_ “So, Sara asked you out?” _

_ “None of your business, Nora.” She retorted, rolling her eyes as she moved towards the bathroom with her sister trailing behind. _

_ “You know, have you ever considered a new look? Buying clothes that don't look like something that an agent from Secret Services would wear? I mean... You have potential, under all this hostility.” _

_ “I’m not hostile. I’m angry.” _

_ “Why don’t you try to be nice? People wouldn’t know what to think.” _

_ “Did you forget? I don’t care about what people think.” _

_ “Yes, you do. You may be able to fool others, but not me.” _

_ "Look, Nora. Stay away from my love life, okay?" _

_ _

_ As the sunset started to show in her bedroom window, Ava thought it would be a very good idea to put an end on that frustrating day and went to the park to run. Maybe some physical exercise could help her mind take a break from all the overthinking she had been doing since her applications to study at Sarah Lawrence College were accepted.  _

_ Her father was still mad at her, and ever since the papers came in he kept sending her emails about the violence rates in NY.  _

_ “I’m going to the park, no need to wait for me for dinner.” _

_ “Ava, it’s getting dark, please, you used to be more responsible.” Randy followed her towards the hall. “Is this about New York? Are you pulling the reckless card to punish me for wanting you to be close to home?” _

_ “No, Dad. You’re punishing me for what happened with mom.” _

_ “Don’t bring her into the conversation. Okay?” _

_ “Okay, then stop making my decisions for me.” _

_ “I’m your father, that’s my right.”  _

_ “So what I want doesn’t matter?”  _

_ “You don’t know what you want, you’re 17.” Ava snorted and sat down to tie her sneakers.  _

_ “I want you to stop controlling my life. It’s not my fault that you’re doing it just because you don’t know what to do with yours.” _

_ “Wow, wow I’m pretty sure of what I’m doing. Look at this house, look at the lifestyle you and Nora have.” _

_ “Oh please! Don’t come at me with your speech about how to build a career. I’m out.” _

_ Ava slammed the door behind her. She was so angry, her heart was beating hard and her breathing got faster. The only thing she wanted to be doing was to run so fast until there wasn't a single thought left in her mind. It wasn’t like she didn’t understand her father’s concerns, because she did. It was normal that he worried about her, but acting like some old fashioned man and forbidding her from getting what she wants? Well, she would never accept that. _

_ After the running, Ava decided to go to her favorite bookstore, near to the park she was running through. Hopefully, she would be home after dinner and able to avoid her father and Nora. _

_ “So Sally can wait... She knows it's too late... As we're walking on by.,” Ava hummed as she walked down the aisle of anthropology books. The girl was so concentrated on her research that she didn’t notice a very subtle presence of one Sara Lance watching her through the shelves in the corridor beside.  _

_ “Oasis fan, huh?” _

_ “Jeez!” Ava gasped, “Are you following me, Lance?” _

_ “What? I was in the park, near here. I saw you and decided to come over to say hi.”  _

_ In reality, Sara was sitting at one of the picnic tables with Nate when Ray noticed Ava entering the bookstore and suggested that Sara come and talk to her. Sara didn’t think it was a good idea. ty5trrrShe had already been rejected by Ava that day, another rejection wouldn't improve her mood. However, Ray insisted and offered her a 'Talking heads' T-shirt that he had.  _

_ “Hi.” _

_ “Not a big talker, huh?” _

_ “It depends on the topic. Besides I’m not in the mood to talk right now.”  _

_ "So you were listening to Oasis, don't look back in anger.," Sara replied, with a reflexive tone, thinking about her interactions with Ava relating what she observed in the girl so far with the lyrics. _

_ "Yeah, why?" Ava started walking down the corridor again with Sara only a step behind her. _

_ "Nothing..." She lied "It's just, I thought that you were into another kind of music." Sara quickened her pace to stand beside the other girl. _

_ “I told you that you don't know anything about me. You just proved my point.” _

_ “Ouch. Well, if you remembered correctly, I said that I wanted to know you more.” Sara pushed a little more. She knew she was walking on thin ice with Ava. _

_ "How could I forget if it was on this very morning?" Ava bragged.  _

_ Sara rolled her eyes at the girl, finding the whole situation extremely annoying. If it wasn’t for Ray, she would have told Ava to go and screw herself already.  _

_ Once they were outside the bookstore, Sara waited for Ava to finish typing a message to say goodbye to the girl, before going after Ray to punch him.  _

_ “Look, Ava. I’m not gonna ask you out again and I’m sorry if I was a jerk before.”  _

_ Ava's ponytail was starting to come loose and locks of hair touched her face, making Sara feel the need to push them behind Ava's ear. She crossed her arms around herself to avoid the need.  _

_ Ava nodded absently, “Would you like to go somewhere?” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. I'm a mess, but I'm a mess you once wanted.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally meet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good night, guys. How are y'all feeling?
> 
> Sorry for taking this long to update but I wasn't exactly sure about this chapter. It was kind hard to write because I didn't like how I wrote their reunion in the present and that made me a little nervous. I made some changing and now it seems to be slightly better than the first version hehe. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and for leaving kudos and comments, I love to read what y'all are thinking about this story. 
> 
> Thanks to Gabriella for beta reading this. You're amazing!
> 
> Have fun!

_ “Oh, this is good,” Ava sighed. A satisfied smile on the corner of her mouth. _

_ "You're starving, huh," Sara said, chuckling with surprise as she watched the other girl eat. “You gotta be careful with that, or your brain is going to freeze.” _

_ She waved at the strawberry milkshake Ava was drinking. _

_ Ava’s eyes crinkled at the corners, “Oh my God, brain freeze.” _

_ “See? I told you." _

_ Ava chuckled. _

_ "There's no food at your house anyway?" Sara rested her chin on her palm, watching Ava eat a cheeseburger. "You eat like a baby dinosaur."_

_ "Jerk…," Ava swallowed and raised an eyebrow. "I hadn't eaten anything since lunch." _

_ Sara muttered an "oh" shaking her head slightly. She cannot help herself but feel a little uncertainty, being there with Ava took her by surprise. The girl had made it clear that she had no interest in going out with Sara and then here they are. _

_ Sara didn't even know if this was a real date. _

_ "Well, you shouldn't take long breaks without food." She decided to choose a topic that wasn't so personal to talk about and let the girl guide their conversation. _

_ Ava frowned, looking with suspicion. _

_ “So...” Sara began, not sure about what to say yet. “How was your day?” _

_ “My day was… good." Ava replied. A hint of curiosity on her eyes. “What about you?” _

_ Sara rubbed her palms under the table. “Same.” _

_ Ava smiled, nodding her head. _

_ Sara smiled back, snorting internally. She was taken by a sudden lack of communication skills and didn’t know where that came from. She wasn't used to be that awkward around a girl. She prided herself of being good at flirting when she even had to try. _

_ She blamed Ray for bringing her to this situation and convince her to talk with Ava in that bookstore. Flirt is something she makes without putting too much pressure, it was natural. She already had a bad start with Ava, the moments they shared were a couple of arguments and a weird conversation when they both got kicked out of a class together. _

_ It was difficult to flirt with someone you knew, to be casual, worse when that person was someone who had been hostile before. Ava had a point when she said no. _

_ Sara heavily breathed. However, after rejecting Sara again, with that annoying superiority that she always has, Ava did ask Sara if she wanted to go somewhere with her. Which made everything strange. This Ava sitting across the table wasn't a pain in her ass. Watching her eating a cheeseburger with that pleasant look on her face it was something Sara wouldn't mind doing again. She frowned with amusement at that thought. _

_ “Hey,” Ava said, bringing Sara back out of her thoughts. _

_ “What?” _

_ “Is everything alright?” Ava asked, watching Sara blink a few times, “You had this look on your face. I don’t know like you’re realizing something.” _

_ “Yeah… Sorry…” Sara replied and drank a sip of her chocolate milkshake. “I was just thinking...” _

_ Ava raised an eyebrow, taking the last fries from her plate and eating, “Anything you want to share?” _

_ Sara watched the girl for a moment. _

_ “I don't know, huh,” she smirked and turned her face away, "You were pretty sure before when I asked you out," she explained, “... and now we are here, I was wondering what changed.” _

_ “Oh, hmm,” Ava looked at her with surprise, “Hmm, well this isn’t exactly a date, right?” _

_ “Right..” Sara contemplated, nodding her head still processing that information. _

_ “I mean…” Ava’s face twisted, “hmm… I don’t know, it was suitable…” Ava seemed to be looking for the words to say, “We were together at the same place and now it’s just two colleagues sharing a meal.” _

_ Sara frowned at her and then smirked with amusement. The girl was trying to explain herself and to be honest she found it kind cute. In fact, Ava's little embarrassment, somehow, improved Sara's confidence. This wasn't a real date so she didn't have to think that much about how to act or what to say. She felt something bittersweet with that information. On the one hand, Ray would have to find someone else to help him and Sara didn’t have to be involved with that arrangement, on the other hand, Ava had made it clear that she had no interest in Sara. Which hurt her pride, a little. _

_ However… She did invite her. She could just call one of her friends, right? _

_ Sara smirked again, leaning over the table to directly look at Ava’s eyes. “Yeah, but you did ask me… You could call one of your friends.” _

_ Ava’s eyebrows lifted and her mouth hung open, “Well..” She started to explain herself again. “It was like I said.” _

_ “Uhuh,” Sara slightly nodded. “I don’t know, Sharpe. It sounded like you want my company.” _

_ “Oh please don’t flatter yourself,” Ava took a napkin and cleaned her mouth. "I wasn't thinking that much when I asked you, I just didn't want to go home for dinner and-" she cut herself off, realizing she was giving too much information. _

_ Sara lifted her eyebrows waiting for Ava to finish her sentence. _

_ "Are you gonna eat this?" She changed the subject instead, pointing a finger at Sara's abandoned fries. _

_ "Oh," Sara looked back at her tray, "No, you can have it." _

_ “Thanks,” Ava said, changing her empty plate for Sara’s. _

_ “So you were just avoiding having dinner with your family, huh.” Sara leaned back in the chair and put her hands in her jacket pockets. _

_ Ava studied her for a moment, “I’m not having this conversation with you. We don’t know each other that well.” _

_ Sara nodded slightly, “Agreed. Now finish your milkshake or it’ll melt.” _

_ “I will,” She looked momentarily taken aback and then took the milkshake's straw back to her mouth. _

_ They finished their meals and kept talking for another hour. Ava hated to admit it to herself but it was fun to talk with Sara. She was funny and, of course, very beautiful. She had that cute smile every time she told some funny stories about her friends. _

_ Sara said they were called legends because of freshman year when they started to mess with the school sprinklers, ring the fire alarm, and some other pranks. _

_ “Oh my God, the sprinklers with orange water were you?” Ava asked, with surprise. _

_ “Well, not exactly me,” Sara laughed. “Jax and Nate were there too.” _

_ Ava nodded in shook. _

_ “What?? We are the cool kids, you knew that.” _

_ “What’s wrong with you?” _

_ Sara raised her chin with pride, smiling with confidence. _

_ “Everything, Sharpe. Except for the way I look.” She winked, making a statement. _

_ “Wow, you genuinely believe in that, huh? ” _

_ "It's a popular opinion," Sara replied like she was stating the obvious. _

"Right," _Ava laughed sarcastically and leaned forward, resting her elbows over the table as she turned her head to glare at the coffee shop. The place was gradually emptying over the night. _

_ “I should go,” She checked the time on her watch. “It’s getting late.” _

_ “Oh,” Sara raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Right.” _

_ She gestured to the waitress to bring the bill and shifted her attention back to Ava. _

_ “I'll drive you home.” _ _  
_

_ They split the bill and left. The drive back to Ava's house was mostly silent, with Sara occasionally getting excited as she tells some funny story about her friends. Ava found sweet how the other girl looked so happy talking about them. _

_ Once the talking stopped and that exciting moment left, Ava observed Sara huffing with a nostalgic glare. She occasionally cast Ava a sidelong look. It was almost like the shorter girl was trying to read Ava’s reaction. _

_ Drumming her fingers on her thigh she turned her head to check the CD player display. It was playing "Just my imagination by The cranberries.” Ava hated to admit it, but she was enjoying watching Sara drive, the comfortable silence between them interrupted only by the music playing. _

** _“Just my imagination, just my imagination, just my imagination... it was, ”_ ** _ Sara softly hummed, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. _

_ "This song is so good," she said, thinking out loud. _

_ “Hmm?” Sara mumbled, slightly surprised to be taken out of her thoughts. _

_ “What?” Ava said, distracted. “Oh, I was saying that I like this song.” _

_ "Yeah? Same." Sara smiled at her, turning the sound up. "This CD is a compilation Charlie made." _

_ Ava slightly nodded. _

_ "She's responsible for making playlists to our trips, last weekend we went to the beach," Sara explained, chuckling at that memory. "It was pretty cool actually." _

_ "It's cute the way you talk about your friends," Ava said. Her eyes widened when she realized she said it loud. _

_ Sara's expression changed to a surprised smile, "Yeah… They're great. I guess." _

_ Ava watched Sara's cheeks slightly becoming red and, for a moment, she regretted saying that loud. She shouldn't be saying out loud that Sara Lance was cute and absolutely not in front of her. _

_ "Is that your house right?" Sara pointed with her index finger. _

_ "Hmm? Yes," Ava replied, taken by surprise for being that close to home. _

_ A weird feeling started to grow on her stomach when she realized that the night was coming to an end. _

_ S _ _ ara stopped the car and they were silent for a moment, just listening to music. _

_ "I should go," said Ava. _

_ "Right," Sara replied at the same time, changing her position on the seat to glance Ava. _

_ However, Ava didn’t make any effort to exit the car. _

_ She slightly shook her head in an attempt to wake up and start to move. She turned herself to unblock the seatbelt and looked again at Sara, who was watching her in silence. _

_ The girl touched Ava’s arms and smiled with a _ _ thoughtful expression on her face, _ _ "This night was really cool. I had a great time, Ava. Thank you." _

_ Ava smiled back and nodded. Already feeling nostalgic with the end. As if what they had today was one of those unique moments that you shared with someone and then never repeat. _

_ “ Good night, Sara.” _

_ Ava walked back to her house and watched Sara’s car waiting until she opened the door to leave. _

_ She closed the door behind her and rested against it, tilting her head back. Standing there for a moment thinking about the night she just had. _

_ “You know how late it is?” _

_ “Leave me alone, Nora.” Ava started to walk towards the stairs with Nora a foot behind her. _

_ "Do you think it's fair for me to stay home while you're out there, doing whatever you want?" _

_ “Jeez, Nora! I wasn’t doing whatever I want I was having dinner with a…” Ava suddenly didn’t know where her relationship with Sara stands. “hm… a colleague.” _

_ “You know the rules if you go on a date I can too.” _

_ “It wasn’t a date.” _

_ “I saw Sara Lance’s car.” Nora accused, crossing her arms. _

_ “So?? She’s a colleague.” _

_ “I heard you saying before that she hit on you.” Nora lifted a brow, judging. _

_ "Yeah, however, I made it pretty clear that I’m not interested. Don’t you remember that part when you were sneaking to hear my conversations?” Ava walked towards the bathroom to take a shower. _

_ “Please! As if I'm interested in hearing anything about your pathetic life.” She pointed with sarcasm. _

_ “Well, so leave me alone then.” _

_ “Is not that easy, my social life depends on you. You’re ruining everything I build.” _

_ “I’m not ruining anything, I’m just being myself. You should try.” She slammed the bathroom door before Nora had a chance to say anything. _

***

_ That morning, she decided to eat her lunch at one of the tables outside the building anyway. The day was beautiful and she wanted to feel the sunlight touching her skin while she ate the lasagna and read a book she was determined to finish before the weekend. She usually enjoys going outside to eat alone. The tables were further apart and the silence was so much better than the warm noise of the cafeteria. _

_ Unfortunately, reading becomes impossible. Her attention was on a girl sitting on a bench across the patio. _

_ Sara Lance. _

_ Ava watched her for a moment. She can’t help the twisted feeling growing on her stomach as she wondered if she should have accepted Sara’s flirt. _

_ The girl was sitting in silence, distracted by her phone. Sometimes she raised her head to speak with Nate. Ava noticed that Sara's hair was curly today. She was wearing a leather jacket with skinny jeans and combat boots. _

_ Ava thought she never saw anyone looking so good. She wondered where Sara had been in the past years in this school that their paths had never crossed before. _

_ Ava scolded herself. “Now I’m wondering about her. Wow.” _

_ After a minute in self-disapproval, Ava looked at the girl again and thought how soft her hair would be to touch, how it would be to run her hands through it. She bit her bottom lip, thinking about what would be like to pull Sara closer to her and then … _

_ "You should take a picture it will last more," said Zari, leaving her backpack on the bench next to her and sitting across from Ava. _

_ "What?" Ava giggled and leaned forward the table. "What are you talking about?" _

_ "You," Zari frowned. "Staring at Sara sitting in that table over there." _

_ She pointed out where Sara was sitting with Nate. _

_ "Oh, that," Ava's posture straightened as she realized what the other girl was saying. " I wasn't exactly staring. Just… looking around, I can't do anything if she's in my sight." _

_ She gave a half shrug and rubbed the back of her neck. _

_ Zari slightly laughed. "You're only fooling yourself, Ava Sharpe." _

_ Ava thought that maybe she could tell Zari what had happened. An outside perspective should help her figured out what's going on. _

_ "Alright," She sighed. " I had a big fight with my dad yesterday." _

_ "Sarah Lawrence?" _

_ "Yes," Ava agreed." Then I left home for a run in the park after I decided to go to a bookstore near there and while I was looking for a book … She showed up." _

_ Ava nodded to where Sara was sitting. _

_ "And the two of you had another fight." _

_ "No, not exactly," Ava's expression contorted. "I kind of asked her out." _

_ Zari's eyes widened. "That's an interesting turn of events." _

_ "But it wasn't a date. Just two people going out for dinner. I needed a distraction from my home." _

_ "With my dad and Nora… I don't know. I was feeling overwhelmed." Ava explained. _

_ “I see...” Zari glared at her with a mock look. “So Sara helped you to feel… Less overwhelmed.” _

_ "NO!" Ava's said, with a lower tone. "I already told you wasn't anything like this." _

_ "Well, I'm sorry but the way you were looking at her… Just showed something else." _

_ Ava contemplated their friendship for a moment. They have never been confidants before and now she suddenly felt awkward to talk about her love life with Zari. _

_ Ava glanced again at Sara's table noticing another guy had arrived in and now was excitedly chatting about something. _

_ He noticed Ava's gaze and smile. _

_ FUCK. He bumped Sara's arm with his elbow and nodded to where Ava was sitting. _

_ "Fuck," Ava muttered. She returned to glare at them again and now Sara was nodding at her, with a smirk. _

_ Ughh, that annoying smirk. _

_ She nodded back at Sara. _

_ "What??" Zari turned herself in the sit to glare at where Ava was nodding. "Oh." _

_ "And you said nothing is going on, huh." _

_ “Nothing is going on.” Ava scoffed. _

_ "Are you sure? Because they are coming here." _

_ "What?!" Ava raised her head and saw them walking toward where she was sitting. _

_ "Hey, guys, " Sara said. _

_ "Hi." _

_ "Hello." _

_ "Hmm... I don't know if you already know these weirdos here, but… it's Nate and Ray." Sara pointed a thumb at her friends standing next to her. _

_ Ava and Zari nodded at them. _

_ “This is my friend Zari…” Ava waved at the girl. “I don’t know if you guys-” _

_ “It’s alright, Aves.” Zari rested her hand on Ava’s, interrupting. “I know Nate and Sara from the drama club.” _

_ “You’re in the drama club?” Ava asked, her glare changing from Sara’s group to Zari. _

_ “Yes, since our classes started. I help the technical team.” Zari shrugged. “You would know that if you pay attention to what we talk at lunch break.” _

_ “Ouch,” Nate spoke, catching Ava’s attention for a moment, her eyes standing a little longer on Sara. _

_ “Hmm… Sorry, Z.” Ava turned to glare at the group again. “Y’all need something or…” _

_ Ray took a step forward this time to talk, slightly giggling at her. “Well, hmm. We want to invite you guys to a party at Nate’s house this weekend. It’s gonna be pretty cool.” He grinned again. _

_ “Yeah,” Sara complimented. She smirked at Ava, “It would be cool if you came.” _

_ “Hmm-” Ava cut herself off. Her focus caught by Sara’s smirk. She didn’t know what answer to give and the rest of the group was staring at her. “I don’t know. Maybe.” _

_ Her eyes lingering at Sara's for another second. She gave a half shrug, “I’ll think about it.” _

_ Sara smiled at her, “See you around then.” _

_ “Bye,” Ava replied, nodding at Ray when he made a sign with his thumbs and smiled at her. _

* * *

Nora rushed into Ava’s bedroom without knocking on the door. 

"Please get ready in 30 minutes?” 

Ava was sitting at her desk with her laptop open and a sketchbook on the side, where she was taking notes. 

"What?! Why?" She took off the earpods from her ears, slightly taken aback with Nora’s request. 

"Pizza night. Don't make questions, just be ready." 

_ What was supposed to be Pizza night?! _

Nora turned herself to go without saying another word. Ava followed her into her bedroom. She leaned on the doorframe and stared at Nora. A frown started to grow between her eyebrows as she watched the other woman choosing clothes from the wardrobe and placing them on the bed.

“You should be in your room choosing something to wear, sister.” Nora glanced at her. “ Or Are you thinking about going wearing sweatpants and a hoodie?” 

“Where are we going?” 

“Oh come on, I told you about pizza night and how it will be the perfect opportunity for you to reunite with our little group before the wedding.” 

“NO WAY!” Ava clenched her jaw and crossed her arms over her chest.

" Ava please,” Nora turned to face her. “Everyone will be there.”

“A good reason for me not to go.” 

Ava walked back into her room and now Nora was following her.

“You know, Zari will be there too.” She insisted. “And Nate. You two could talk about work.”

“Yeah, well I already saw both of them this week.” She shrugged and sat at her desk again. 

“Well, do it for me then,” Nora sat at Ava’s bed, looking at her with puppy eyes. “It’s my wedding and I need you to have a good relationship with my friends. You all are going to be a part of this.” 

Ava bit her lower lip, not knowing what to say back. 

She thought a lot during the week about how close she was to seeing Sara again after all these years and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that. When they broke up, she decided to pretend that what they had didn’t happen, that what she lived with Sara was part of another life. 

A teenage delusion. 

That's what Sara was to her: a teenage delusion.

However, the hurt was real. It was easy to pretend that Sara never happened in her life with all the distance between them. 

“Nora… Not only she will be there but all those people who knew she was lying to me. Alright, Zari didn’t know.” She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed. “I don’t know how to act around these people anymore.”

Ava lifted and walked to look through the window. “I don’t want them to look at me with pity. I-” She cut herself off, thinking better about what to say next. 

“Come on, no one will look at you with pity, you don’t need to care about that. I mean…” Nora’s expression changed to a soft smile as she pointed a hand to Ava. “You are a grown-up woman, you graduated from the college you dreamed of, you had relationships after her. You’re not that Ava anymore.” 

Nora stood up, “and I’m sorry for this, baby, but she isn’t that Sara anymore.”

Ava scowed, “Of course.” 

Nora rolled her eyes. “Look at me, Ava.” 

The other woman raised her gaze at Nora. 

“Please come with me,” She smiled warmly. “I promise you everything will be just fine.” 

Ava waited for a moment with a frown in her forehead before answering “Fine.”

“YEESS!!” Nora paced to hug her. “Now please move to get ready. I said to Ray that we would be there to help him.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Just give me a moment to take a shower and change.”

Ava took a deep breath. Her expression changing as she watched Nora leave her bedroom. 

Maybe she can do this. 

She could ignore Sara's existence overnight. Pretend the woman is just another friend of her sister and be polite. 

Only talk with her when it’s necessary. 

Ava sighed deeply, nodding to herself. _ She could do it. _ _  
_

***

They had a tradition on Friday night.

It was named pizza night. A night where they got together to talk about their week, eat pizza, drink alcohol, and occasionally play a board game. 

It used to take place at Ray and Nate’s apartment. 

That particular night, Nora decided to drag her sister there. Ava insisted that she didn't want to go but Nora kept saying that sooner or later this reunion would happen, so it should be better before the wedding day. 

It didn’t make Ava feel any better. 

And now she was looking at a very enthusiastic Nate talking about the History Department at the University. Well, Nate was talking she was nodding from time to time to what he said. Trying to look involved in his conversation.

Nora and Ray were at the kitchen's balcony finishing preparing some snacks and Zari was talking with Charlie closer to the drink table. 

"I hope Nora is sure about this," Zari said, worried about the inevitable reunion between Sara and Ava that night.

"Well, eventually they’re gonna meet, right?" Charlie replied in a lower tone as she finished pouring scotch into her glass, "Better sooner than later." 

Zari glanced over where Ava was sitting and watched her friend for a moment. Ava felt Zari's gaze on her and smiled at her.

"I don't know." Zari insisted. “She likes to pretend she's okay, but I think hidden inside this cold and polite posture Ava still feels hurt.”

Charlie’s forehead furrowed.

"Look, Z. Ava is a grown woman and she needs to get over what happened," Charlie put her hand on Zari's shoulder and gave the woman a tender smile. 

"It's easy for you to say that," Zari said as they left the drink table and went to sit on a bench by the window.

In the kitchen balcony, Ray was helping Nora by cutting the bread.

"Well, it's easy for you to say that," said Nora as she took the eggplant appetizer from the fridge. 

“I’m just saying, they’re both adults,” Ray replied, keeping his attention on the bread. “They have to find a way to be civilized around each other, the wedding is getting closer.”

“yeah,” Nora huffed, “I’m just nervous with everything, I guess.” 

“Me too, babe,” Ray gaze at her with a reassuring smile. “but, look, everything is going to be fine.” 

Nora nodded. 

“Did you tell Sara my sister would be here tonight though?” She asked.

Ray's eyes widened. “Oh.” 

“OMG, you’re an idiot.” 

“Yes, but I’m your idiot.” He wrapped his arms around Nora and kissed her forehead, “Relax. We are good,” He pecked her lips.

Nora chuckled and muttered. “_ I love you _.” 

“I know,” Ray released her, “Now...Hmm, excuse me for a moment. I have to talk to Nate. It’s quick.” 

She frowned watching him pace into the living room. 

“Hey, guys!” Ray approached where Nate was sitting with Ava, “I hope y’all are having a good time.”

“Is everything alright, bro?” Nate asked.

“Yeah, yeah…,” Ray shot a glare with concern at Nora and then turn to Nate, “I need to talk to you, privately….”

“Hmm… Alright.” Nate exchanged confused looks with Ava and followed Ray.

“What’s going on?”

“I forgot to tell Sara that Ava would be here tonight.” 

“Oh boy.”

Nate didn’t have time to think about anything better to say because the next thing that happened was the door opening.

Ava was sitting on the couch. She lifted her head and lightly pressed the wine glass in her hands as she watched Sara enter through the living room. _  
_

"Hey, guys!" Greeted Sara as she entered the apartment and closed the door with her left heel. "I found the delivery man outside with the pizzas and already paid." She rechecked the order note without paying attention to anyone there. "I found it weird that you ordered a pizza with pineapple, I haven't seen this disgusting combination since ..."

Sara looked up to see why none of them said anything and then felt her jaw drop slightly when she saw the woman across the room.

Honey blond hair, cascading over her left shoulder. Cold blue eyes studying Sara.

“... You.” She finished, staring at Ava Sharpe. 

It was not an exaggeration to say that everyone there remained in silence for a moment exchanging worried looks from one to another and the two women.

Before it got too awkward Nora paced toward the living room trying to disguise her concern about that meeting with a cheerful smile directed to Sara. 

“Hey!! Finally, the pizzas are here!!” Nora greeted the shorter woman with a side hug and shot a warning glare at Ray.

“Oh, let me help you guys with this,” he took the pizzas from Sara and put them on the coffee table. “Well, plates and napkins were already here so… You guys know... what to do and,” 

“Let’s eat then,” Nate cut off Ray before he started to wander. 

And just like that, the living room returned to the cozy noise it was before Sara arrived. 

“I need a drink,” She said as she watched Ava and Zari talking.

“Hey, Sara. Are you good? "Charlie found her on the kitchen counter while she poured herself a whiskey. 

“Ye-p.” Sara nodded, popping the “p”. “Why nobody told me that she would be here?” She continued with a lower tone.

“Well… Hmm.”

“You know what forget it,” She glanced over where Ava was. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just have a nice dinner.” 

Sara bit her lower lip looking again at Ava, the other woman’s eyes caught her gaze and she quickly looked away at another point in the room.   
  


Over the night, the two women barely talked to each other. 

They were gathered in the living room. Sara and Zari were sitting in the two armchairs near the hallway. Sara was distracted, typing something on her phone, occasionally participating in their conversations. Ray was sitting on the carpet with Nate and Charlie, closer to the coffee table, playing Jenga. Nora and Ava were sitting on the couch by the window, having what seemed to be a different conversation from the rest of the group.

“Oh no,” Zari said, drawing everyone's attention.

“What?” Sara replied.

“Behrad was kicked out of our family’s house,” Zari answered with a concerned tone. She kept looking at her phone. “Mother found his stash apparently and dad kicked him out.”

“Oh man,” Sara laughed, followed by Nate and Charlie. 

“Don’t laugh, guys. He wants to spend some time with me…” 

“Wait, what?” Charlie stopped laughing. 

“Yeah, he texted me asking if he can spend a few weeks in my apartment,” Zari sighed. “Hmmm, sorry guys I need to check up on this.” 

She stood up and walked over to where her purse was. “I’ll text once everything is alright.” 

“Good, great,” Charlie, walking with her to the door. “Do you want me to go with you?” 

“No, it’s okay. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Zari muttered. She squeezed Charlie's arm, giving a reassuring smile.

“Right,” Charlie nodded.

She watched Zari leave, suddenly aware of the other people in the room

“So…,” thinking of what to say, Charlie turned herself and noticed the mischievous look that Sara directed at her. She glanced over the room and grinned back at Sara. 

“...Ava,” She continued, looking for changing the subject. She noticed Sara’s expression changing to annoyance and her smile grew bigger. “How’s life going?”

“_ What? _” Ava, who was chatting with Nora at that moment, replied with surprise. 

“Well…” She swallowed, hard, looking from Nora to the rest of the group, “It’s alright. _ Why? _” 

“Nothing. I’m just curious. In fact, we all are,” Charlie sat at the armchair where Zari was before she left. “We’ve been talking all night but you didn’t say much...”

They looked at Ava with curiosity, which increased her anxiety and the way Sara was staring at her made it even worse. 

She shrugged, “I didn’t feel the need? I mean, it’s the first time we had the opportunity to get together and…” She hesitated. “Nora and Ray’s wedding is coming we should _definitely _be talking about that, _ right? Nora? _” Her voice becoming a little edgy in the end.

Nora nodded and smiled, “Right.” 

“Yeah, I agree with Charlie.” Nate interfered without looking at them, trying to move a block of the Jenga tower. “Charlie is your turn. Did y’all remember how good were these reunions we had at my place when we were teens?” 

“We always have these reunions, buddy.” Sara finally spoke. “although it's the first time in a while you’ve participated, Ava.”

It was the first time Sara said something directly at her that night. Ava thought it would be possible to spend the night without having to share more than a few words with the woman but maybe she was wrong. She decided not to take Sara's provocation and gave a slight nod. 

Nora decided to end the discomfort and changed the subject to something less personal. After a few minutes, they returned to the easy conversation they were in before Zari left. 

Sara and Ava, again, avoided talking to each other directly. They tried to get involved by the conversation, occasionally sneaking a look at each other when they thought no one was noticing. 

When it was closer to 2 am Ava decided to help Nora and Ray by washing the dishes. It was more to help herself. She just needed a moment apart from the group, the alcohol was taking effect and they were all a little tipsy so their conversation became too fast and too noisy to follow or participate. 

She just really needed a moment to arrange her thoughts. Sara's comment had taken her by surprise and she couldn't think straight with everyone looking at her.

Ava was so focused on her thoughts that she didn't notice the presence of someone else opening the fridge to get a bottle of water. 

Sara took a sip of water while watching Ava's back.

“It’s funny how you kept those little habits,” She tilted her head, with an amusement look. 

_ “Jesus, Sara!” _Ava sighed in fright, turning to see Sara approaching the sink. 

“Sorry,” Sara grinned, not looking sorry at all. She drank another sip from the bottle. “I guess I kept old habits too.” 

Ava turned her attention to the dishes again, “Sure.” 

Sara glanced at her with a bitter smile, leaning against the counter beside the sink and crossing her arms. 

“What?” Ava said, not looking at her. 

“Nothing...” Sara started. “Hmm, you know you didn’t have to do this right now... I mean, tomorrow Nate or Ray takes care of the dishes… Ray loves it.” 

“Hmm, I don’t mind.” 

“Of course you don’t.” Sara scoffed. 

Ava turned to answer Sara but forgetting what she was going to say, slightly surprised, as she realized how close they were. She took one look at Sara's face and for a moment her breathing became heavy. It had been so long since she had been so close to Sara. her freckles, the dimple in her chin, a smug smile growing in the corner of her mouth. The same smile she had kissed many times before. That thought led her to bite her lower lip, catching Sara's eyes. The shorter woman seemed to notice as well how close they were, stepping back to increase the distance between them.

_ Why she has to be so insufferable? _

It seems that it wouldn’t be possible to spend a night without being disturbed by Sara’s unpleasant presence or to pretend she was just a random person. 


	5. The empty space you left behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara gave him a half-smile, “You have too much faith in people, Ray. You know that right?” 
> 
> “You should give them a chance,” He looked at her with a wise glare, like he wasn’t speaking strictly about her parents. “What happened in the past, you can not change.” 
> 
> Sara laughed, “Yeah, buddy. I’ll keep that in mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back :)
> 
> I'm so happy to see that y'all are liking this story. Seriously, I'm having a great time writing and when I see y'all commenting and leaving kudos and all that. It's really very grateful and I can't wait to share with you what I'm planning to write next.
> 
> This chapter's slightly angst and we will see more of what Sara is thinking and her struggles. 
> 
> It's also has a bit of darhkatom in the beginning.
> 
> Thank you gabs for beta reading, love u
> 
> Hope y'all have fun. :)

_They were leaving the library after an hour of studying math. _

_ "I’m so thankful that you’re helping me with this, Ray,” Nora said, an expression of relief in her face. “I’m finally having some progress with math.” _

_ Ray felt his cheeks warm-up, delighted by the way Nora smiled. _

_ “Hmm- I did nothing, Nora. You’re easy to help.” _

_ “No way. Trust me, my sister had tried before and it was one of the most horrible experiences I ever had,” Nora complained, glancing a look at her phone to check the time. _

_ They were slowly walking to the school entrance, where Nora's friend was waiting to give her a ride. _

_ “So… Nora, I don’t know, I was thinking maybe we could go out sometime… I don’t know.” _

_ Ray tried his best to disguise the tension he was feeling. _

_ “Aww, are you asking me out?” Nora had an amusement look. _

_ “Hmm, yes. Maybe,” He gasped. _

_ She made a move to start speaking but it was interrupted by him. _

_ “I know, I know about your father,” He continued making a movement with his hands. “... but I don’t know, maybe there’s a way that…” _

_ “Stop, stop, Ray.” Nora placed a hand on his shoulder. _

_ “Now he changed his mind,” Nora twisted her face in a scowl. “I can go out if my sister does, but she’s just incapable of human interaction so it’s impossible to make her leave the house to go out with someone.” _

_ “Wow…” _

_ “Yeah, she’s a total bitch.” _

_ “Well, I don’t know… Maybe there’s a girl who wouldn’t mind going out with a difficult person.” _

_ “Do you know someone that brave?” Nora frowned. _

_ “Maybe,” Ray’s smile grew with enthusiasm. _

_ They agreed that the tutoring would happen on Mondays and Fridays after class. However, Nora has a test on Thursdays so she asked Ray if he could help her with some exercises. _

_ After a couple of minutes, Ray noticed she was annoyed so he asked if she wanted to go outside the library for a walk. _

_ "Is everything alright?" _

_ "Yeah, yeah…" Nora replied. "Things aren't that good at home.” _

_ “If you want to vent or…” _

_ “It’s okay, Ray. It’s just we are arguing a lot. My dad and my sister, me and my sister.” _

_ “I understand. I have a brother,” He grinned tenderly at her. “We are twins.” _

_ “Cool.” _

_ “So… ” He started. “ Have you heard about Nate’s party??” _

_ “Yeah, I heard the rumors about it last week,” Nora replied, tired. “I really wanna go. However, because of my sister, I may not.” _

_ “Yeah, I know…” Ray shrugged. “I had a friend who tried to asked her out but she rejected.” _

_ Nora sighed, flinching her shoulders. _

_ “I told you my sister doesn’t like the girls from our School. You know what? I don’t think she even likes humans.” _

_ Ray laughed. _

_ “I’m serious, maybe she’s a robot or something.” _

_ “She was always like this?” _

_ “No, she had girlfriends before which makes this weirder, you know?” Nora said. “And she was popular last year… When she dated Jenny.” _

_ “She dated Jenny?” Ray was surprised. _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Amazing...” Ray said, contemplative. “I mean… Jenny is quite popular but, I don’t know, I don’t remember seen them together that much.” _

_ Ray scratched his chin. _

_ “Probably because you’re always in your own world, with your friends,” Nora scowled. “Y’all seems to be a very, I don’t know, distant group.” _

_ “Oh come on, it’s nothing like that. We talk with other people.” _

_ “Yeah, right.” _

_ “So, hmmm…” Ray hesitated. “What kind of girls she likes? I mean, are girls like Jenny her type?” _

_ “I don’t know, but I know for sure she thinks Sara is attractive.” Nora narrowed. “I read that in her journal the other day.” _

_ “What??” _

_ “Yep. She thinks Sara has a cute smile.” _

_ “Wow,” Ray was surprised. “That’s quite interesting.” _

_ “Yeah, and I saw Sara’s car dropping my sister yesterday… It was pretty late.” _

_ Ray looked confused like he was trying to connect the dots. _

_ “You shouldn’t read your sister’s journal, right?” _

_ “What? I didn’t read everything that she wrote. I mean, she’s really boring. Just a couple of things and it doesn’t matter anyway.” She answered impatiently. “You were the one asking for my help.” _

_ “Yeah, sorry.” _

_ *** _

_ Sara wasn’t having a very pleasant morning when they went outside to have lunch. She had a bit of insomnia the night before, probably caused by her father's absence in the house, he left a note in the fridge saying he wouldn't sleep at home that night. Sara didn’t like to sleep alone at home. Unfortunately, it had become commonplace since her parents divorced and Laurel moved to study in another state. Her father became distant and the few moments they shared were filled with silence and awkward conversations. _

_ He tried to participate more in her life, asking about school and her plans for the future which made everything worse because she didn’t have anything planned yet. _

_ She let out a heavy sigh while starting to type an answer to Laurel’s text, a little oblivious to what was happening around. Nate was there with her, focused on doing something she hadn't paid much attention to. _

_ “Not everything is lost,” Ray said as he sat next to her. “I was talking with Nora and you're still in the game.” _

_ “What? What game?” _

_ “Ava Sharpe??” Ray answered like it was too obvious. “Nora’s sister, my future wife.” _

_ “Wow,” Sara and Nate looked at him surprised. _

_ “No.” _

_ “Yes, Sara.” _

_ “No way! Come on, Ray.” _

_ Sara’s expression softened as she placed a hand on his shoulder. _

_ “I tried buddy,” Sara continued. “But she’s not interested.” _

_ “But you two had dinner together last night.” _

_ Sara looked at him surprised. _

_ “Nora told me,” He explained. _

_ “Well, it was just dinner. She made it pretty clear she’s not interested.” _

_ “Oh, man. She turned you down two times in the same day.” Nate smiled towards her. _

_ “Shut up!” Sara defended. “I’m not really into her, okay?” _

_ “Okay, okay! But you should ask her to come to Nate’s party this weekend.” _

_ Nate snapped his fingers agreeing with Ray, “Good idea!” _

_ “Seriously man! What-” _

_ “Nora said Ava wrote about you in her journal!” Ray blurted out. _

_ “What? What did she write?” Sara asked, interested in knowing what exactly Ava might have written about her. _

_ “Be cool! Oh, look, she’s looking at here.” _

_ “What??” Sara frowned at where Ray was waving. _

_ Her eye caught Ava trying to look away and then returned to glare at her, with a little smile, probably trying to disguise her embarrassment for being caught. Sara cannot help herself feeling a heat build-up in her belly. She shot her a cocky smile and a nod. _

_ “Let’s go there ask her to the party!” Ray said, quietly but a little anxious. _

_ “What??” She frowned. “No!” _

_ “Yess! Sara, it’s perfect. Nate will be there and with all of us together maybe she won’t think you’re hitting on her-” _

_ “Oh my God! Do you hear the things you say?” _

_ “Maybe he has a point! If we invite her, it will be more casual and you take the opportunity to, you know, make your move.” _

_ Sara didn’t know exactly what to say and just gave a heavy sigh. _

_ "Come on! Let's go!" _

_ "Ray, wait…" Sara followed them. _

* * *

Sara opened her eyes with the sound of an alarm. The morning light was entering through the slits in the curtains and made her room poorly lit. She changed her position in bed and searched for her phone at the bedside table.

She turned off and scrolled through the apps to see if there were any text to answer. Just one from Laurel asking about a lunch they will have with their parents. _ Great_.

She exhaled and dropped the phone beside her.

Her mind brought up scenes from the night before. She questioned herself _ why on earth _ she thought it was a good idea to say anything to Ava.

She sighed hardly.

She wasn't sure of what she was looking for or what she wanted when Ray first said Ava was coming back home, not only for the wedding. However, it was really stupid of her to expect that the things between them would be different, that the walls Ava built between them, years ago, were no longer there.

She rolled over on the bed again and slightly snorted, pressing her face into the pillow. Thinking.

There were many times that she attempted to repair the damage and get back to what they were. In none of these times, Ava was willing to listen to her. So why would she care about anything related to this woman?

She should have ignored Ava's existence the night before and give her a silent treatment. But in her defense, she didn’t know Ava would be there so she didn’t prepare herself for that moment.

After finding out Ava was back she felt a warmth growing in her body, something she hasn’t felt in a while. She imagined some scenarios of what this meeting would be like. Would Ava openly talk to her? how would she react at Ava’s presence? it would be awkward between them?

It was ridiculous because Sara was never someone who overthink about something or someone. So what the hell was that?

Ava was the one who left, Ava was the one who never gave her the opportunity to explain herself. So why would she care?

Sara shook her head and muttered bitterly in the silent room, _ “Stupid”. _

She always went back to this same statement: Ava never gave her a chance. And any time her mind flows back to their relationship. She can not avoid thinking about that. Thinking about how easy was for Ava to move on with her life.

_ Well, _he was responsible for what happened and she had blamed herself since then. That’s one of the reasons she always avoided talking about Ava because that subject touched a place inside of her that was attached to her insecurity and she didn’t know exactly how to deal with it.

Of course, she has confidence. It wasn’t hard to perceive this in every step she had made and in the way she related to people. However, deep down she constantly faced the fear of failing or that she wouldn’t be enough. Sara didn’t like to think about that so she just put those emotions in a box and, as a prevention method, she didn't allow people to get close enough to see. She should thank her parents for teaching how to compartmentalize her emotions.

“_ Okay_,” She muttered in a slight sigh. _ “Don’t go there, girl.” _

She thought again about her interactions with Ava the night before. How surprised she was by her presence there and, as the night passed, the bitterness she felt increased each time she saw Ava being cold to anyone who tried to talk to her. It was like she didn't want to be there.

Sara decided to get up in an attempt to ignore those intrusive thoughts and finally to start her day.

_ “it wasn't like I was waiting for her, right?” _Sara frowned while brushing her teeth, looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

She finished using the bathroom and headed for the living room.

Mona and Charlie were at the table. They stopped talking when they noticed Sara walking towards the kitchen. She stood in front of the cupboard to get a mug.

“Morning, Sara,” Said Mona exchanging a look with Charlie.

“Morning, guys,” She answered without turning to them. “Did y’all sleep well?”

Charlie frowned. "Not bad?"

“How are you feeling?” Mona asked. She tried to give Sara a comfy smiled but the effort only irritated Sara more.

She squinted towards Charlie and then back at Mona but didn't answer. Choosing to move to the coffee machine to pour herself some.

There's none. She couldn’t avoid being pissed.

"Okay. Look, guys. Four people are living here. When the coffee runs out, you need to make more."

Charlie and Mona exchanged looks and shrugged their elbows. Charlie frowned her eyebrows. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, huh, Sara?”

Sara made a move in an attempt to properly answer but got interrupted by John entering the living room.

“Hey, Sara.” He took a cigarette from his coat pocket that was hanging in one of the armchairs. “Do you have a razor? I didn’t find one in the corridor bathroom.”

“It’s because we don’t leave them there,” Mona spoke like it was something obvious.

Sara watched them talking with a vague look in her face. Still processing what was happening in her living room. John gave Mona a mocked look and lighted up his cigarette, walking towards the balcony.

“Hey, hey, John!” Sara finally said. “ You know the rules: No smoking if you want to stay here."

“It smells horrible and I had to listen to my sister's monologue because of your bad habits." She continued, pointing a finger at him, "IF you want to smoke you have to go out of the building, in the street, then wait for the bad smell to leave, and THEN,” she emphasized. “You can come back."

“_ This is ridiculous, _” John snorted, walking.

“Find another place to live then,” Sara’s warning was drowned out by the sound of the door slamming.

“To be honest I still don’t know why you left him live here.”

“Wait, he’s not living here and I’m not the person who allowed this,” Sara looked directly at Charlie.

“Oh, come on! What should I said?” Charlie complained, crossing her arms.

“I’m just saying my parents won’t like it if they come to visit me and find a Morlock sleeping on our couch.”

“Oh, I’m sorry but aren’t you old enough to care about what your parents are gonna think?”

“You really don’t know my family, Sara.” 

“This is only temporary, Mona.”

A few seconds later, the door opened bringing Ray to inside. “Morning, guys."

Sara decided to make more coffee anyway.

Her brows furrowed as she watched Ray sat down at the table and poured cereals into an empty bowl.

"Your fiance doesn't care that you are having breakfast with us instead of her?" She asked.

"Oh, she didn't sleep at my place last night. She went back to her dad's house with Ava—" He cut himself off as Mona and Charlie looked with concern from him to Sara.

Sara rolled her eyes at them.

"Anyway," Ray continued with a grin." I decided to come here and have breakfast with you guys."

"And Nate?" Sara sat placing a thermos of coffee on the table.

"Oh, he's still asleep I guess," Ray poured orange juice on his glass, "So how are you feeling about last night?"

"What happened last night?" Mona asked hurriedly.

Sara rolled her eyes again. The conversation hadn't started yet and was already getting on her nerves. She didn't want to talk about Ava, especially when her feelings were still so mixed.

“Well,” Ray started to answer Mona but got cut off by Sara.

"Let me ask you something, Ray-Ray, since you're so invested to talk about other people's lives," Sara leaned her elbows over the table, "Have you told Nate about kicking him out of the apartment after your marriage?"

"I'm waiting for the right moment," Ray straightened his posture.

“You should start working on it,” Sara suggested. “Your marriage is very close.”

“Why don't you just say it?” Charlie said. "I mean, you're gonna be married, it's obvious that he has to move out."

"Actually, Nate really thinks that we all gonna live together."

"Good morning, beautiful people," Nate entered the kitchen. "Thank you, Ray, for waiting for me to have breakfast."

Ray just shrugged, his mouth full of cereal.

"So what's the subject?" He sat next to Sara.

She opened her mouth to talk but got interrupted by Ray who quickly swallowed the cereal he was chewing to speak before her.

"Well, uh…" He drank a sip of juice. " We were talking about last night's events."

Mona and Charlie laughed, making Sara snorted impatiently.

"Right! How are you feeling, baby girl?" Nate rested his hand over hers.

Sara rolled her eyes again.

"Alright, y'all have to tell me what had happened last night. I'm dying here." Mona complained.

"I will tell you, don’t worry.” Nate grinned at her.

“Come on, why can’t we just have a nice breakfast instead of talking about my life?” Sara said impatiently.

“Well, to be honest, we were quite curious about this moment,” Nate replied, almost regretting it when Sara shot him a killing glare.

Sara just nodded and decided to let it go. If they wanted to talk about that,_ whatever_. She’s not going to act like she cares because she doesn’t, _ right_? It was absolutely 100% Ava’s fault. “Talk about anything you want. _ I don’t care _.”

“Well, as you know, last night we were all together at my apartment and it was the first time some of us saw Ava in years." He shot a glare at Sara.

They looked at her tenderly which made her clench her jaw tighter.

“So…” Nate continued, “They were in the living room facing each other and I don’t know for how long, the atmosphere there was so dense, the only sound heard was the music playing in my boombox”

“OH MY GOD! Back off, Shakespeare. It was nothing like this,” Sara said as she left the table and walked towards the kitchen counter pretending to search for something but only to avoid her friend's look.

“I was there, Sara. It was exactly like this.”

“Whatever, this is not the most important part,” Charlie claimed, “As the night goes by and the mood improved a little, Sara and Ava were civilized towards each other but they barely talked.”

"Come on, Charlie, don't encourage them." Sara shook her head again coming back to the table with a bottle of orange juice in her hands, “Did you understand that I’m right here, huh?”

Charlie just ignored her, “I don't know at what time of the night, Sara and Ava were left alone in the kitchen, they were talking and for a moment nobody even noticed them standing there, and…”

“and WHAT?” Said Mona with enthusiasm.

“... and nothing,” Charlie continued. “Ava went back to the living room but she was looking quite upset. They didn’t talk anymore, at least, not while I was there.”

“Exactly! You left!” Sara finally showed some interest in their conversation, probably because she wanted so bad to change the subject to anything that wasn’t related to her. “Where did you go, Charlie?”

“Nice try,” Sara let it out a tired sigh and Charlie continued speaking, “What happened? Did you guys talk about, _ you know? _

“Not that it's any of your business, guys, but I told her to get her head out of her ass.”

They scoffed at her response, not believing it was true.

“Whatever, guys I don’t have to talk about that,” Sara complained. “It’s private.”

Now, that statement made them all look a little awkward. Sara observed, narrowing her eyes.

“I need more coffee.”

The rest of the group watched Sara leave the table.

"Hey, Ray," Nate muttered.

"Yep."

"Do you think it's possible Ava tells Nora about what happened last night?"

"It's possible," Ray retorted. "I mean… They are close now."

"Great!" Mona's grin grew bigger. "Then you could tell us."

"Yeah, I'm not allowed to talk about what Nora tells me, sorry guys."

Mona rolled her eyes, Charlie watched them with an amusing look.

"What could I do?" Ray continued. "Ava's going to be my sister in law. I'm trying to build a closer relationship with her."

“Honestly, I didn’t know you guys liked to gossip this much,” Sara said from the kitchen counter.

“Well, yeah. But it’s not only because it’s gossip,” Ray answered, hesitating. “I mean, she really did a number on you.”

“She didn’t,” Sara sat again. She arched over the table, bringing the oatmeal's bowl closer to her.

Ray seemed to notice her discomfort and decided to change the subject.

“So, what are your plans for lunch?”

_ Not a great topic of conversation either_, she thought as she remembered about the lunch she would have with her parents and Laurel tomorrow. Sara decided to concentrate on finishing her breakfast and listening to whatever they were talking about.

Luckily, they seemed to notice that Sara was getting super annoyed by their conversation about Ava and decided to not bring that up anymore. The mood improved and Sara felt more relaxed to talk about the lunch she had tried her best to avoid.

“After all these years they decided to get back together,” Sara said, later that morning, to Ray as she helped him with the dishes.

“What’s wrong with that?” He replied, giving her a plate to dry. He noticed the frown forming in her forehead e continued, “I mean, the heart wants what the heart wants, right?”

Ray shrugged.

"They aren't good for each other," Sara explained, pessimistic. "Eventually someone is gonna get hurt."

"There's no way you can predict that. People change."

"Not my parents. Something will happen. Something they won't know how to deal with." Sara started to pace around the counter. "And once they don't know how to deal with it, they will fight and well, the short version is: Someone is gonna get hurt."

“Maybe this time will be different. Maybe they’re more aware of those issues and will work together to make things different.”

Sara gave him a half-smile, “You have too much faith in people, Ray. You know that right?”

“You should give them a chance,” He looked at her with a wise glare, like he wasn’t speaking strictly about her parents. “What happened in the past, you can not change.”

Sara laughed, “Yeah, buddy. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Sara heard the _ beep _ coming from the kitchen and lifted her head, putting the book she was reading on the coffee table.

The smell announcing that whatever she was cooking was ready.

It was an eggplant lasagna.

She got bored after arriving from the gym and decided to clean the house, something she didn't do very often, but her mind needed a break from _ thinking_.

So after cleaning the two bathrooms, her room, and the kitchen. while cleaning the living room, she took the opportunity to wipe off the dust from the bookshelves. Sara never realized how many books they had put together there. They were organized according to the interest of each one of them. There were Mona's romance and History books, Charlie's books were about music and mythology, and hers, about medicine and random biographies that she never had time to finish reading.

She remembered, with a smile, when Nora and Mona convinced her to join _ The Book Club_, the rules were each one of them should choose a book, they read and then discuss the story. It turns out the book club was just an excuse to talk and drink anyway. Sara never finished the first book, chosen by Mona, but she liked to be part of it.

By the time she finished cleaning the living room, she made her way to the laundry to pick up her clothes.

It wasn't even close to 6 pm when she was done with cleaning and, yet, still bored so why not cook something for dinner?

She searched in her Instagram for a chef who she had been following for a while and always wanted to try one of his recipes: eggplant lasagna. After putting the ingredients on the counter she turned on a playlist on _ Spotify _ and started. She decided to make another one but small and vegetarian just for Mona. Sara smiled at her decision.

After placing the dishes to bake, Sara took out a book, a glass of wine and curled up on the sofa. Satisfied with her achievements that day. 

When the oven sounded the alarm, the smell coming from there awoke a soft snore in Sara's stomach.

She looked at two platters, and her smile grew longer. It was looking good. Her cooking skills weren't that bad after all. At the end of the day, it was kinda good to spend some time with herself. She did things she never does when she's working.

She decided to take a selfie with her lasagna and send it to Laurel. Her sister always irritated her talking about her lack of interest in doing mature things like cooking her own meal. It wasn't like she didn't enjoy it, she was always too busy with something. She took another picture and posted it on her Instagram stories. Very proud of herself.

Once she scrolled her Instagram feed she saw a picture posted by Ray. He was with Nora in a restaurant. Ava and Doctor Sharpe were also in the picture. She could see that Ray tagged Ava on the pic. Maybe she could have a quick look at Ava's Instagram page. Was not a big deal, right?

Sara clicked on the name that directed her to Ava's page.

However, before she could have a chance to see the pictures, she heard the sound of the door being opened and got amazed, closing the app abruptly. Her phone jumped from her hand into the table.

Her heart raced, she felt as if she had been caught.

"Hey, Sara."

It was Mona.

"It smells good in here," she continued.

"Hey! I cooked dinner," Sara grinned, still feeling proud, the momentary fright being drained from her body. "and I have made one especially for you, vegetarian."

"Seriously??" Mona looked delighted. "Nobody has ever made vegetarian food for me before"

"Well, I did," Sara answered, taking a sip of wine. "And I also cleaned the house and, our books."

"Wow, Sara, you take the meaning of _ days off _ to another level."

"Well, to be honest, I got really bored so."

"Okay, I'm gonna have a quick shower and change, so we can have dinner. Just give me a sec."

"Hello," Nate opened the door. "Dinner is ready?"

Sara just nodded and he entered.

"You know, the smell is all over the hall."

"Well, I cooked it."

"Seriously?" Sara rolled her eyes. "Sorry, it's just I haven’t seen you cook in a long time."

"Well, it's because I'm always busy." She made a statement.

"Okay, guys, I'll be right back."

"It's alright, Mona. Nate's gonna help me put the table."

Nate gave his thumbs up and the girl left the kitchen. He started by placing the dishes on the table, while Sara took the cutlery and then opened another bottle of wine, slightly amused by how fast she finished the first one.

A couple of minutes later Mona went back to the kitchen she still had a look of wonder on her face.

"This looks amazing, Sara. Thank you."

“Now, lady and gentleman, please have a seat, and let’s just eat because I’m starving.”

Sara was pleased by the look on her friend's face as she watched them eating and talking animatedly, praising the dinner she had cooked. After finished her meal and opening the third bottle of wine, Sara felt the fatigue taking control of her body.

She smiled, taking a deep breath and then letting it out slowly. That was something she liked: Feeling tired after a busy day. So tired that she wouldn’t be able to have complex thoughts.

That was something she had achieved that day. Being able to not think about the brunch she will have tomorrow with her parents and Laurel.

“Why you’re so quiet?” Nate asked before shoving the last piece of lasagna from his plate into his mouth.

“I don’t know, I’m just becoming too tired I guess.” Sara poured herself more wine. “I probably ate too much and started digesting.”

“Yeah, I feel that,” Mona replied, leaning against her chair. “Today Nora and Ray finished choosing the wedding cake flavor, to get the details right and well, I’m one of the bridesmaids so Nora asked me to go with them.”

Nate scowled. “I can’t believe Ray didn’t ask me to go too.”

“Well, there were already too many people there??” Mona said like it was obvious. “Ray, Nora, her sister, Ava, and me.”

Sara’s brow raised after Mona mentioned Ava, but she hid her interest playing with her fork casually.

Mona gave her a side look. Waiting. Sara continued playing with the fork.

“Well, nobody asked me but it was the first time I saw her,” She continued. “She was a very tall woman.”

Sara smiled, agreeing. Mona took this as a sign to keep speaking.

“To be honest I was very curious to meet her. After all the things I heard you guys saying.”

“Did you asked her about her past with Sara the same way you did with Sara a couple of weeks ago?” Nate mocked.

“Of course not, you loser.”

Sara rolled her eyes so hard that a headache started pumping her brain. “I didn’t drink enough for this conversation, Mona.”

“I did nothing,” Mona explained. “All I wanted was to bond with her because, y’all know, we are both Nora’s bridesmaid, but she was very intimidating, I don’t know, emotionally unavailable to bond with her sister’s friends?”

Sara laughed bitterly and nodded. That was something she could agree with Mona.

“Come on, guys,” Said Nate, pouring more wine to his glass. “I guess this situation is difficult for her too. Despite Nora and Ray's marriage, Ava is dealing with a career change and being around people she's no longer intimate with.”

That moment Nate glanced towards Sara and she rolled her eyes again.

“Could you guys please stop killing my good mood?” She replied, annoyed, and slightly drunk.

“It’s not my fault she hates me.”

“Interesting, but you’re probably wrong,” Mona had an amusement look, probably caused by the alcohol. “Today she just complimented you to Nora and Ray.”

“What?” Sara asked, trying to look as disinterested as possible.

“Yep,” Mona smiled, dreamy. "She said and I quote: don't worry about Sara, she is good at everything she decides to do."

Sara felt something pounding hard in her chest. She smiled slightly, feeling a heat growing on her cheeks as she fixed her glare on her empty plate.

“After she said that she looked so embarrassed it almost meltdown all that cold persona.” Mona continued.

Sara’s smile started to drop as she felt tears burning her eyes. She bit her lower lip trying to avoid that feeling.

“I’m feeling tired, guys.” She ran a hand on her hair. “Tomorrow will be rough. I should rest, could y’all wash the dishes?”

“Yeah, of course, Sara.” Nate shot Mona an _ “I told you” _ glare.

“Good night.”

“Good night, Sara. I’m sorry for bringing this up.”

“It’s okay.”

_ “It’s okay,” _Sara repeated already in her room.

* * *

_ Ava was _ _ focused on reading the paper about the next experiment before the class gets started. She didn’t notice Sara approaching her desk. _

_ “Hello, partner.” _

_ Ava looked up with surprise to see Sara taking the seat beside her in the chemistry class. _

_ “Hmm, hi,” Ava lifted up a brow watching Sara’s mischievous smile. _

_ She decided to let it go and went back to her reading. However, she could feel Sara’s mischievous glare, watching her from the corner. _

_ “What??” _

_ “Nothing,” Sara smirk turning to look at another point. _

_ Ava left a brow at her again, “Seriously, Sara.” _

_ “Okay. You do a thing when you’re reading,” Sara explained. “It’s like you’re trying so hard to be focused. I think it’s cute.” _

_ Ava felt her cheeks becoming hot and she tried her best to act as she wasn’t affected by Sara’s observation. _

_ “I'm not trying to be focused. I am.” _

_ “Whatever, it’s cute.” _

_ “No, it’s not, why you” Ava got cut by the teacher's entrance saluting them with a good morning and she decided to let it go. _

_ Sara’s eyebrows rose. She waited for Ava to finish and when the girl remained in silence she turned herself to listen to what the teacher was saying. _

_ “Morning, guys!” the teacher left his backpack over the table and sat. “I need to finish correcting some essays. In the meantime, y’all can solve the exercise list that I'll leave at your desk now. You can keep the pairs from the last class, the grade on that list will compose a part of your final grades. _

_ Sara and Ava exchanged looks. Sara gave her a tight-lipped smile and moved her seat closer to Ava's. _

_ Ava opened her notebook to start answering the exercises. She glanced towards Sara and the girl was opening up her textbook, looking like she was searching for the chapter they were currently studying. _

_ “It’s on page 84.” _

_ “Oh, thank you,” Ava just nodded at Sara’s answer and returned her gaze to her own book. “Hmm, how we gonna do this?” _

_ Ava bit her lower lip as she looked again at Sara. _

_ “Err, I don’t know?” she replied with a thoughtful expression. “We could try to answer together? Or split the questions? I answer one half and you just answer the other." _

_ “I’m not that good in chemistry??” Sara lied, smiling back when she noticed Ava's mocking smile. “So… answering together?” _

_ Ava’s nose crinkled, her face contorted. “Yeah, I guess two minds are better than just one.” _

_ “Yess!” Sara shifted in her seat and moved her hair to one side of her shoulders. _

_ Ava watched her. Sara was sitting so close when she moved her hair Ava had a better view of her neck. Sara scent getting stronger because of their proximity didn’t help either, it was leading Ava’s thoughts to what it would be like to kiss that specific spot where there was a birthmark that could barely be seen and all the freckles near that. _

_ Ava bit her lip again, inhaling sharply. _

_ “Are you okay?” Sara asked. She had a cocky but soft smile in her face, almost like she knew what Ava was thinking. She held Ava's gaze for a bit, waiting. _

_ “Yeah!” Ava breathed out. _

_ "Listen," The teacher called. "You can talk while doing the exercises, but in a lower tone, so that all of you can carry out the activity with ease and without disturbing the other classrooms." _

  
  


_   
  
  
  
  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sara needs a hug too 😭😭 
> 
> hehehe I really hope y'all had liked it. 
> 
> Sometimes I'm still not sure about the way I'm writing or if it's confusing mixing the past and present. So I don't know sometimes I feel insecure about that hehehe I hope it isn't confusing for y'all idk 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading :)


	6. There are many things that I'd like to say to you but I don't know how.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time to brunch with Sara's parents and then Nate's party will be too much for Ava to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys. How are y'all going?? 
> 
> A good part of this chapter is about Nate's party and I really hope your guys have fun reading :)  
Just a warning: This chapter has underage drinking.
> 
> It took longer than I expected because I wasn't sure where to end the chapter and it was getting too long and I was afraid of ending up being very annoying hahaha, so yes, I cut out some moments that will be in the next chapter. I'm still not satisfied and I hope the story will become more interesting as things happen.
> 
> Thank you to Gabs who always help me with my writing 💓 you're an angel :)
> 
> Anyway, see ya on the other side :)

"This has been going on for a whole year?" 

"Well, baby -" Quentin replied.

"Did you know about it?" Sara cut him off, turning her head to stare at Laurel. 

"Well, just for…" 

"Of course you did," Sara snapped, slighted rolling her eyes. "Why am I always the last one to know when something happens in this family?" 

"Honestly, dear. You aren't that interested in knowing what's going on in our lives." Her mom pointed, looking absently at the menu. 

Sara’s eyes widened. _ Of course_, her mother would bring that up again like she always did whenever Sara complained about something. 

“Am I wrong?” 

“No, not at all. I’m just wondering the reason for that,” Sara tensioned her back against the chair. She felt her chest tighten by the look of criticism on her mom's face. 

“Oh, please. Stop being a child. you're not 17 anymore.” 

“Dinah, please.” Quentin intervened. 

Sara's father always tried to mediate the relationship between her and her mother. This always caused more trouble than help because whenever he did that just gave her mother another motive to criticize her.

Her relationship with them had always been conflicted and, consequently, more distant than usual. It got worse after their divorce, with Dinah moving to Central City and Laurel going to College at Stanford. She was just starting senior year and was left alone to collect the broken pieces of her father. 

“Honestly dad? I had to deal with your bullshit about mom leaving just for you to run after her now?” 

“I know things got messy back then, kid,” Quentin gave her a reassuring smile, squeezing her hand. “and we are sorry. I am sorry.”

They just live their lives without Sara being a part of it. Her father closed himself between work and drink, it was rare the moments he asked about her life or about school. They always supposed she was doing pretty well. When she started Med School they couldn't be more happy and proud but not even that worked to bring them closer together. 

“This is not the point, Dad,” Sara huffed. 

“How's everything at the hospital going?” Laurel asked, unpretentiously. 

“It’s alright, I took a couple of weeks off so I could have some time to myself and help Ray with the wedding,” She answered with a monotone voice, deciding to be less verbal at the brunch and just listen to whatever they wanted to talk. 

The mood improved. For Sara's benefit, Laurel had many stories about Sophie so the subject spun around about how the kid had grown, her first days at school, how Tommy was trying to be less protective. They didn’t ask her about anything too personal and just a couple of times her parents tried to find out if she was seeing someone but Laurel helped her change the subject. 

Sara was exhausted. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed with herself for not being able to handle her family and just spend some time around them without feeling tired or annoyed by the things they said. It should be easier, as her mother said she wasn’t a teenager anymore. 

It was easier for Laurel, she seemed to fit perfectly between them. She was never rebellious, she knew how to choose her battles better than Sara did, that was something she ended up learning after their mother left the house. _ "You don't have to pick up a fight whenever you think it's right." _ Laurel always said. 

She ended up learning anyway, her only wish was that it hadn't taken so long. 

Before the divorce, she used to be a reckless kid, staying out late at night and doing the bare minimum to get good grades. It all got worse when she came out to her family. Her mother started treating her like a stranger and, from time to time, letting out comments that, although Sara was bi, she would end up marrying a guy anyway. Her father was okay with it but he wasn’t exactly interested in what was going on in her life so didn’t make any difference. 

The only person who was actually paying attention to her was Laurel. They shared everything that was going on in their lives. She was the one Sara looked for when she needed to vent and she was probably the one who knew everything about Sara. Her insecurities, her accomplishments, her dreams… When she left for college, it was like separating a part of her that was more dynamic, more open, by making her more self-conscious and suspicious. 

They never fought. Even in the most difficult times when their parents got divorced and Laurel left. She was super happy for her and all Sara wanted to see was her sister growing to be the amazing lawyer she always dreamed of. 

Then Laurel married Tommy and a while later Sophie came. At this time, she was closer to finish medical school and made her best to help Laurel with anything she needed. 

Laurel still was her safe space and she could feel that bonding anytime Laurel shared a look with her. 

“I saw her,” Sara said as they walked down the street after saying goodbye to their parents.

By the look on her face, Laurel understood. “Ava?” 

* * *

_ At the time the bell rang, they hadn’t finished all the exercises. Ava let out a frustrated sigh. knowing how overloaded she was feeling she wanted to do this in class so she wouldn't have to be worried about meeting Sara another moment. _

_ Sara seemed to notice her frustration but didn’t say anything, deciding to gather her stuff. Once she was done, Sara threw her backpack over her shoulder glancing at the other students leaving the classroom and then back at Ava. _

_ "So," They said at the same time. _

_ “Go ahead,” Sara waved. _

_ Ava nodded, taking a moment to run her tongue over her top lip, suddenly forgetting what she was going to say. "Hmm, we need to finish the exercises this week." _

_ Sara nodded, crossing her arms. _

_ “I know our next class is only on Wednesday,” Ava started to walk towards the door and Sara followed. " but the beginning of the week is always a rush for me." _

_ “Oh, don’t worry,” Sara replied, shoving her hands in her jeans pockets. “What about tomorrow by 3? You could come to my place if you prefer?” _

_ “Hmm,” Ava wasn’t expecting that offer and started to ramble. “or we just should go to the library. I mean, it’s more peaceful to… study…” _

_ "Yeah, sure. I was just thinking your house is closer to mine than closer to the library, but, yeah." _

_ “Oh, I get it.” Ava internally rolled her eyes to herself. Why she had to make things weirder when she was around Sara? She was just a girl!! _

_ “Okay… ,” Sara said, “So, I'll meet you at 3 tomorrow at the library?” _

_ “Alright.” _

_ Once they arrived at the cafeteria, Sara looked around searching for something. After finding her friend’s table, she turned to look at Ava. “See you there.” _

_ “Bye,” Ava replied at Sara’s wave. _

_ “Ughh,” She exhaled probably all the air in her lungs, she thought. Her shoulders slumping as she made her way to where her friends were sitting. _

_ They were in a lively conversation about something Ava wasn't interested in. She just sat next to Zari and remained silent, rubbing her temple trying to avoid a headache. _

_ “You are so wrong!!” _

_ “No, you’re wrong.” _

_ Lily and Gary were arguing, apparently. _

_ “No, you’re.” Lily insisted. "And if there was a city made for people who are wrong about something, you would be the mayor." _

_ “What?” Gary scowled, narrowing his eyes. _

_ "Have you ever wanted to go back in time and change the decisions that guided you here?" Zari asked, watching them. _

_ “You have no idea,” Ava finally spoke, catching Gary and Lily’s attention. _

_ “You look bad,” he said, curious. _

_ “It’s because I’m tired,” She sighed, massaging her shoulders trying to relax. “I don't have a minute of peace.” _

_ “Why?” _

_ “Well, between school, my father, Nora…” _

_ “And crushing Sara Lance.” Zari cut her off. _

_ They all looked interested. Of course, Zari wouldn’t let that go. _

_ “Zari!!’’ Ava looked around the cafeteria, feeling her cheeks hot. "Could you please shut up? The last thing I need is for people to hear this nonsense." _

_ “Come on, admit it.” _

_ Gary’s mouth fell open and Lily just gave a half-smile. Zari continued eating her muffin as if she didn't just throw that information right there on their table. _

_ “Are you hot for Sara?” _

_ “Why are you the way you are?” Ava said, her face tightening as she shot a warning glare to him. _

_ Gary just shrugged. _

_ “But you fancy her?” Lily asked. _

_ “No!!” _

_ They looked at her in disbelief which made Ava more annoyed. Why they have to make things harder? She didn’t want to discuss if she may or may not have a crush on Sara Lance, in fact, if there was something she really wanted to do was to not talk about Sara at all. _

_ This was happening in a way that was totally evading her plans. After she and Jenny broke up, Ava was sure she wasn't going to be interested in anyone else in their school, It was a stroke of fate to have a crush in someone just a few months before prom and graduation. _

_ "Look, I don't have to explain myself for you, guys," She raised her chin, trying her best to look chill. "I'm a lesbian young woman, who is allowed to develop an interest in whoever I find interesting." _

_ "aww, You know, Ava," Gary mocked. "It would be so much easier to take you seriously if you weren't blushing so hard right now." _

_ "I should look for new friends, y'all are just wasting my time." _

_ "You should go get your tray, you know, all this free hate you are holding in your heart must be hunger." _

_ “Good one, Z,” Lily replied as they laughed at Ava’s annoyed face. _

_ "Y'all should be helping me instead of making fun." _

_ "I already told you, Aves, just jump in her bones," Gary said and she, immediately, rolled her eyes to him. "Well, this would help you with your problem with Nora and also help you release all this energy you're keeping to yourself," He continued. _

_ “Umm…” Ava realized she didn’t have a good answer for that. She could say she didn’t want to get attached to someone just to end up breaking up with them. Because, well, that was also true. "It’s not usual for me to be involved with something that I don't know where it will lead me. Y’all know that it’s not my thing. I don’t take risks." _

_ “It must be like hell in your head,” Lily said, with a frown in her forehead. _

_ “You shouldn’t think that much about this,” Gary said. “If you think too much you will lose the opportunity and then you gonna regret it forever. It doesn’t have to be serious, just hook up with her and move on.” _

_ Ava rolled her eyes. It was so easy for him to say. _

_ “I still think that you should look for your food before the warning bell rang,” Zari complemented. “But, yeah, Gary is probably right.” _

_ “Thank you, Zari.” _

_ “I mean, among us, he’s the one with more expertise in the fields of promiscuity and general sluttiness.” _

_ Lily and Zari laughed which softened the tightness Ava was feeling in her chest and she saw herself laughing with them. _

_ "Okay, okay, very funny," Gary smiled, opening his arms in surrender. “Well, at least I'm not as stressed as you are.” _

_ “I’m not judging you, Gar. I’m just making a point.” _

_ Gary made a move to reply Zari with probably a very spicy answer but Ava glowered towards him. _

_ "Okay, guys stop," She said. "I don't know but this isn't helping, please." _

_ "Look, let's go to Nate's party Saturday. Sara will be there it's a great opportunity for, you know,” He started to make weird movements with his hands and Ava felt her face getting very hot. “..and, I don't know, blame the alcohol later." _

_ “Please don’t do this anymore, for the good of our friendship,” She pointed at his hands. _

_ “Well, just think about it. Remember what I told you, there are things in life that only happen once.” _

_ Ava nodded. _

_ The warning bell rang announcing the end of lunchtime. _

_ "I told you,” Zari said. “You should have eaten.” _

_ *** _

_ Sara was sitting at a table with her back to the window, which gave her a wide view of the study area. There weren't too many students there. She was with a Chemistry book open, making some notes about Thermodynamics. Ava hadn’t arrived yet so she decided to start studying. _

_ She thought it was better to study with another person than by herself. It helped her understand the subject faster and she doesn’t get bored with all the reading. _

_ “Sorry for being late.” _

_ “Oh,” Sara lifted her head to see a very flustered Ava Sharpe sitting across the table. “don’t worry, is everything alright?” _

_ Sara took a moment watching Ava. She was with her hair damp and a flush in her cheeks. Breathing fast as though she had run before. _

_ “Yeah!” Ava assured quickly. Leaning against the chair, she opened her backpack, pulled a notebook and opened it up. “I forgot I had training today so I had to left before it finished and have a quick shower before coming to the library.” _

_ “You forgot?” Sara smiled with surprise. _

_ “What’s so funny?” The girl seemed tenser than she usually was. _

_ “Nothing. Ummm... I just pictured you as a person who has each minute of the week planned.” _

_ "Well, I think there's always a first time, huh?” Ava replied, massaging the back of her neck. _

_ Sara shrugged. She was smart enough to not push anything Ava didn’t want to share. “Let’s just finish this. I already wrote something in my notebook. We can discuss the subject and organize the answers together with the others we did in class.” _

_ Sara noticed how Ava's eyes widened when she started to read her notes. She thought about commenting on it but she didn't want to annoy Ava even more. _

_ They did their best to avoid speaking out loud and not disturb other students who were studying but sometimes it was hard to keep that in mind with Ava disagreeing on the things she suggested and making them arguing about it. _

_ By the third time someone glowered at them and muttering an angry "shush", Sara gave up and lifted to change her seat to the one beside Ava. _

_ Ava’s eyes widened as she got surprised by how close the other girl was and she shifted on her seat, trying to increase the distance between them. Sara noticed a sudden stiffening on the girl’s posture and remembered what Ray had said about her. Precisely, about something Ava wrote in her diary. _

_ “Sorry, I’m tired of people glowering at me,” She stretched her spine, opening her arms for a moment. “Are you okay?” _

_ “Yeah,” Ava answered with a shaky tone. She straightened, “Let’s finish this.” _

_ Sara nodded. She turned her eyes to the papers laying on the table and leaned against her elbow, a thoughtful expression on her face. Looking at Ava from the corner of her eyes, Sara realized something. _

_ “You smell like cherries,” she said. “Hmm, I didn’t notice before because,” she looked at the space between them and smiled. “Well, it’s pretty good.” _

_ Sara returned to focus on her task. Kinda regretting the compliment she made but not totally. She used to be more smooth when she was flirting but now she kept acting like an amateur towards the girl. _

_ “Hmmm, thank you, I guess,” Ava smiled and then let her hair falling over her shoulder, covering her face. _

_ Sara nodded. Suddenly feeling the need to get back at the seat across the table where she could see Ava’s face better. _

_ *** _

_ Ava was lying on the couch, in the living room, reading 'The Bell Jar'. She was hoping to finish the book that day. Her morning was spent doing schoolwork, then she went to the record store where Gary worked. His shift ended by 2 so she waited for him and then they went to a cafe near the park. _

_ Gary once again tried to convince her to go with him to Nate's party which she declined. She explained that being at a crowded party with drunk teenagers who don't respect the rules about personal space was not exactly what she would define for “having a good time”. _

_ Gary just nodded, exhaling. “Sorry for insisting. I don’t know, school is ending and I wanted you to have some fun.” _

_ “I’m having fun,” she replied like it was obvious. “Just because I don’t waste my time with this teenager nonsense it doesn’t mean I’m lonely or whatever.” _

_ “Teenager nonsense?” _

_ She just shrugged. She was so tired of all her conversations somehow ending the same way. How she’s too uptight and she should try to be more relaxed and enjoy more her youth. What if this is the way she liked to be? Or, maybe, she simply didn’t know how to be this person that people wanted so bad for her to be. _

_ Ava turned another page remembering the conversation she had with Gary. _

_ “I’m sorry, Ava. I care about you and I don’t want you to regret something you didn’t try. I know you have been through a lot and you’re trying to deal with things in your way but that doesn’t mean you can turn down people the way you have been doing.” _

_ “Yeah, I don’t know what you are talking about.” _

_ “I don’t know let’s begin with you tearing it down every Prom poster, for an example.” _

_ A smile appeared at the corner of her mouth when she remembered. Yes, she has been doing this since the beginning of the last semester. Tearing up all the prom announcements and trying to convince people not to go. Well, she hadn't been successful in the last one, but at least she was standing up for what she believes, right? _

  
  


_ “Who told you that?” _

_ “Kristen. The prom committee was very mad at you.” _

_ “Well, I’m just helping…” _

_ “The point is, people often perceive you as…” He looked unsure. _

_ “Assertive?” _

_ “No, dear. ‘Annoying bitch’ is the expression they use. They’re trying to convince the director to suspend you.” _

_ “They can’t do that.” _

_ She remembered laughing bitterly as Gary spoke. Because, well, she would never value herself by the opinion of people who were too dumb to understand what she was trying to do. _

_ Well, now she was at home, thinking, she couldn’t help but feel a little anxious and unsure about herself. She didn’t care about the way people saw her. However, she missed having someone who understood her and wouldn’t question every step she made. _

_ Her dad interrupted her thoughts by entering the living room and sitting in the armchair across the coffee table. Looking like he wanted to start a conversation but not knowing how. _

_ “What book are you reading?” _

_ Ava just raised the cover so he could read it. She was still mad at him because of Sarah Lawrence. _

_ “Interesting, interesting.” _

_ The sounds of people sneaking down the stairs caught his attention but he didn’t make any effort to leave the armchair. It was Nora. Ava knew the girl would try to go to that party. _

_ “You two should have used the window.” _

_ Ava grinned, still looking to her book. Nora and her friend, Tiffany, paced to the living room trying to pretend everything was normal. _

_ “Hi, Dad.” _

_ “Hi. Where are we going?” _

_ “Well, hmm, a study group of course. Just a small reu-” _

_ “This is how they call it these days?” He cut her off. Ava noticed a vein forming on his forehead. _

_ “It’s just a party, Sir,” said Tiffany. _

_ “Right. Just a party.” _

_ Ava decided to go back to her room, it was becoming impossible to continue her reading there. _

_ “Do you know about this?” _

_ She just shrugged, already knowing where that will lead. _

_ “Dad, come on, people are expecting me to be there.” _

_ “Well, if Ava’s not going then you’re not going,” He empathized. _

_ Ava quickened her pace to the stairs trying to avoid this conversation again. She was so tired of her father always involving her when it came to Nora. _

_ “Why can’t you be normal?” _

_ “Define that,” She spun to glare at Nora. _

_ “Nate Heywood’s party is normal. It’s called being a teenager.” _

_ Ava shook her head, smiling bitterly. _

_ “Nate’s party is a lame excuse for all the idiots in our school to drink beer and rub up against each other with an attempt to forget how pathetic and empty their lives are.” _

_ “Oh my God, Ava! Why can’t you stop being so wrecked and act like my sister just this time?!" Nora complained. _

_ Ava felt… Overwhelmed. She was tired of that situation. She was tired of people demanding things that she didn’t want to do. She was tired of her brain, her inclinations to take everything too seriously. _

_ “Okay,” She simply said. _

_ “YES!!” Nora and tiffany celebrated. _

_ Ava smiled at Nora’s happiness. That moment she wished her relationship with her sister was easier. She wished her childhood to return so they could be friends again and all the differences between them would no longer exist. _

_ “Oh dear God, it’s happening!” _

_ “It’s just a party, Dad. Relax,” Ava tried to tranquilize him. She caught her wallet and keys to leave. _

_ “Don’t forget your jacket and your phone.” _

_ She nodded, “My phone is here with me and I have a jacket in my car, thanks.” _

_ “Are you coming with me?” Ava asked, opening the door. _

_ “No. I’m going with Tiffany, come on,” Nora replied already pacing on the porch, without looking back. _

_ “Hey, hey. You two: No drugs. No tattoos. No piercings and no kissing.” he warned, apprehensive, watching them leave. _

_ *** _

_ Ava watched, leaning against her car, people entering Nate's house. She looked around for a while, still amazed at the facade of the House. The Heywoods must be very rich, she thought. _

_ She bit the inside of her cheek, feeling awkward and shy at the same time. She didn't usually go to parties with people she didn't know. She should have called Gary or Lily, they were probably there. Or maybe she could ask Zari to go with her. _

_ “She would probably hate this as much as I do,” She whispered. _

_ “Hey, you.” _

_ Sara Lance was standing a few steps ahead of her. Ava's eyes widened and she felt relief. Finally, someone she knew. The shorter girl was wearing a white tank top, black jeans ripped on the knees, and black boots. Ava studied her face, she was using mascara and eyeliner that made her blue eyes more intense. _

_ “Hey, Lance,” Ava answered, trying not to look unsure. She shoved her hands in her jeans pockets and walked towards Sara. _

_ “I’m glad you came,” Sara said. Ava found it hard to believe but the girl looked genuinely. _

_ “Yeah, thanks.” _

_ Oh man, isn't there a way she didn't look so weird??? _

_ “Hmm, my sister can be very persuasive,” She explained. _

_ “Oh, cool,” Sara nodded. “let’s go inside.” _

_ As they went inside Ava felt a warmth touching her skin and understood why Sara wasn’t using any jacket. The music was loud and the noise of conversations hit her all at once. She recognized some faces from their school. Sara pointed out where the drinking and the food table was and apparently there was a dance floor outside near the pool. Gary would probably be there. He loved dancing. _

_ There were people all over the stairs, some kissing, others talking. She felt Sara slide a hand down her lower back and leading her the way. _

_ “Come on, let me show you the backyard.” _

_ They walked side by side and Ava smelled a vanilla scent coming from Sara and she felt intoxicated. Everything about this night was making her feel out of place. The music, the people drinking, Sara’s proximity. She took a deep breath, breathing in all the air her lungs could take, then letting it out slowly. _

_ She let Sara guide her body along the way to the kitchen. Looking around, she tried to keep in her memory every detail of that night. As she turned to enter the kitchen she glanced Nora with her friend, Tiffany, and a couple of faces she didn’t recognize but then… _

_ “Excuse me,” She left Sara’s side and walked to where Nora was standing. She could feel the anger increasing in her body and she finally felt like herself again. “Hey!” _

_ Nora and Derek, a guy from her literature class, stopped talking and glared to her. _

_ “Hey, Ava!” Derek grinned. “Look who found me here.” _

_ He shoved an arm around Nora’s shoulder. The girl ignored Ava and asked him to go outside. _

_ “Hey, you just ran away. Is everything alright?” Sara asked, approaching her. _

_ “Nora, wait,” Ava ignored Sara and followed Nora. She pulled on her sister's arm, making the girl finally look at her. She seemed to be more annoyed than usual. _

_ “Please don’t talk to me in public, I’m begging you.” _

_ “Please, there’s something I need to talk to you.” _

_ “Look, I’m busy now, enjoying my life. You should do the same.” _

_ Ava watched them walk away, feeling more nauseous than ever. A guy with a tray of what seemed to be tequila shots slid next to her. _

_ “Want one?” _

_ *** _

_ Sara was sitting on the couch, bouncing her leg, while watching Ray trying to make a hole in Nate's library floor. The party already started an hour ago and he was super nervous about talking with Nora. _

_ At first, Sara found it cute how he paced around the library rehearsing the words he would say when he sees Nora. But now she was just super annoyed by that. _

_ “Could you please be cool?” She asked. “Try to enjoy the night. If it isn’t today there will be another opportunity for you two.” _

_ “She said she will come. If Ava doesn't come, she would try to sneak out.” _

_ “See?? No reason to be so nervous.” _

_ "Yeah, I'm really scared, if you want to know," Ray sat beside her but got up quickly. "She's so amazing I don't want to ruin everything. Did I tell you? We were talking the other day and I asked her what was her favorite food and she said pizza and I love pizza. It has to mean something, right?” _

_ Ray looked expectantly, waiting for Sara’s answer. She wanted to say that a lot of people loved pizza, it wasn’t a big deal. However, she didn’t want to make him more insecure than he already was. _

_ “You already told me that, buddy. We were at Charlie’s house listening to music and you told this to everybody there.” _

_ “Oh, okay. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, sorry…” _

_ Sara looked around, impatiently. _

_ “Hey, what about we go outside, huh? Maybe she already arrived.” _

_ Sara started to lead the way and took them to the living room where most of their friends were. She was quite annoyed about that party. Ray and Nate haven't stopped talking about it for the past few days and she had to deal with Ray stressing all-day. All his questions wondering if Nora may or may not come, how the night will go, what kind of conversations he will have with her if she comes. _

_ She didn’t have the time to think about anything else and now it was not even close to midnight and she just wanted to go home. She decided to relax, let the music and the atmosphere to drain the stress she felt before. _

_ She watched Ray’s optimistic eyes scanning around the living room and then the hallway. _

_ “She’s here!!” _

_ “What are you waiting for?? Go over there and talk to her.” Sara smiled, watching Ray walk to Nora and shook her head at how desperate he looked. _

_ As she made her way onto the porch, she just wished he didn't have such high expectations that could get him hurt. _

_ Raising her head to look at the sky, she felt her shoulders relaxing as the cool breeze of the night touched her skin. She looked around people coming, leaving their cars, or walking down the street. She saw there more people than Nate had invited. He was lucky that his parents weren’t in Star city this weekend, their house will be probably a mess once the party's over. _

_ She waved to some girls who were entering the house and greeted her. As she turned her head to look at where most of the cars were parked she spotted Ava. The girl was leaning against a car and had a strained expression on her face. _

_ Sara had seen that expression before, she would risk saying that was Ava Sharpe's trademark. The frown and the sharp look. However, there was something more. Sara noticed by the way Ava drummed the thumb in her thigh. Maybe the girl was nervous about something? _

_ She decided to go talk to her. _

_ Ava seemed to be slightly relieved to see Sara. She also looked distracted, Sara noticed, she didn't shot any of her sarcastic statements yet. She decided to take Ava to the backyard, the atmosphere was colder and less chaotic than inside. _

_ As they walked inside the house, Sara slipped her hand on Ava's lower back a few times when the number of people in the corridors made it difficult to walk side by side. Sara couldn't help but feel excited that Ava was there. She was starting to feel bored and Ray's overthinking about Nora gave her a headache, Sara always tried her best to calm her friends when they needed but there were moments that she only wanted to be alone with her thoughts. _

_ It was like there's too much going on with her and with people around her and she simply didn't know how to manage that and be the supportive friend that Ray always was for her. _

_ She stopped for a moment to answer someone and when she looked at her side Ava was gone. She walked towards the kitchen, where she spotted a girl with honey hair enter. _

_ Ava had her back to her, she was talking to one of the guys Nate had called to help with drinks. Sara approached watching Ava snatch a shot of tequila and drink with a grimace of intense discomfort. The girl probably wasn't used to drink like that. _

_ “Well done, sister!” The shot guy replied. _

_ “Hey, Ava,” Sara touched her left arm, trying to catch the girl’s attention. “I’ve been looking for you. Is everything okay?” _

_ “Yep! I’m getting trashed, girl,” Ava mocked. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do at a party?” _

_ Sara’s eyes widened at Ava’s question and she shrugged not knowing exactly what to say. “Hmm, I don’t know. I usually say, do what you wanna do.” _

_ Ava’s mocking face changed to a bitter smile. “Funny, you’re the only one. See ya!” _

_ Sara stood there unable to say anything as Ava pushed away into the crowd. A frown started to form on her forehead as she decided if she should look after Ava or if she should let it go. _

_ “Man, You will never believe what happened!” Nate chimed in from Sara's side. Sara noticed by his tone he was slightly drunk. “I had to watch one of the most embarrassing moments ever.” _

_ Sara looked at him absently, her eyes scanning the place, looking for Ava. “What?” _

_ “Ray trying to talk with Nora.” _

_ “Oh,” She nodded. “How bad it was?” _

_ “Remember that time he decided to join the drama club? the audition for Romeo's role?” _

_ Sara remembered. They had started the sophomore year and Ray decided to try other interests besides science. it ended up not being as he expected. On the audition day, he was super nervous, forgot his lines and started to ramble about why he wanted to join the play. _

_ “Poor Ray,” Sara shook her head, frowning. She spotted Ava again near the dining room. “Yeah, I‘ll look for something to drink. See ya!” _

_ She stopped sometimes to answer people who waved at her. The moment she finally found Ava, the girl had a shot in her hand and from the way she was laughing, Sara noticed her drunkenness. _

_ “Hey, hey!” she tried to remove the shot from Ava’s hand. “Why don’t you let me have this one, huh?” _

_ "Get your own drinks, Lance," Ava replied, lifting her chin. Sara smiled by the girl’s attempt to look serious. _

_ “I don't know, you look like you’ve had enough,” Sara scoffed. _

_ “From you?” Ava laughed, her cheeks flushed. “Yeah, I agree.” _

_ Sara stared at the empty space the girl was before leaving and rolled her eyes, cursing internally. She was getting tired of following Ava around the house, it wasn't exactly her plans for tonight. However, she felt responsible for her. If it wasn't for Ray's crazy idea, they wouldn't be here. She didn't know how much Ava could handle drinking and the possibility of the girl getting alcohol poisoning scared Sara. _

_ “How did you get her to do it?” A guy chimed at her side and grabbed her arm waking her from her thoughts. _

_ “What?” She was confused for a moment and then recognized the guy from their literature class, the one who insulted Ava. Sara immediately clenched her hands. _

_ “She’s finally acting like a human.” He waved to the dining table where Ava was. “To be honest, there’s a bet around the school trying to figure out if she was a robot or some shit like that.” _

_ Sara grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "She is human as much as you are.” _

_ “Hey, be careful this shirt is new!” Sara was ready to respond but was distracted by the noise of what appeared to be a crowd forming in the dining room. Travis followed her eyes and they spotted Ava starting to dance over the dining table. He looked again at Sara, the corner of his mouth quirking as he headed to watch. _

_ Her eyes shone with surprise as she approached the table. Yeah, Ava was definitely drunk and, for a moment there, she saw herself amazed by how good Ava looked. But again, there were all those stupids drunk heads cheering, applauding and she thought that Ava wouldn’t enjoy this if she was sober. _

_ “Come on, Ava, let’s go,” she tried to catch the girl’s attention but it didn’t work until Nora appeared at her side with a shocked expression. _

_ “Why are you trying to ruin my life?” _

_ Nora's cry seemed to wake Ava from her drunken dance. She stumbled trying to reach her sister and hit her head on the chandelier, falling from the table on Sara’s arms. _

_ Sara saw all the thoughts inside her head going away when she felt Ava's body pressed against her. The extra weight made her take a few steps back and Sara tried her best to not fall onto the floor. _

_ “Are you okay?” Sara asked, running a hand through Ava's cheeks, her thumb lightly rubbing the jawline. She tossed a lock of hair behind Ava’s ear and stood on her tiptoes to search for any bruises on the girl's forehead. _

_ “I’m fine! Now get off me, Lance,” _

_ “Seriously? You just hit your head,” Sara felt her body temperature rise and her breath getting heavier. There were a lot of people there and they were so loud, making it impossible for her to hear her own thoughts. She tried to steer Ava away from there but the girl just leaned more against the table, looking amused by the crowd. _

_ “I just need to lie down for a minute, okay?” _

_ There was some distance between then now but Sara kept her hands on Ava's hips, afraid that if she let it go Ava would fall again. _

_ “Yeah, well, if you lie down and you’ll go to sleep and this is a terrible idea considering-” _

_ “Oh my God, why your mouth keeps saying so many words,” Ava slurred before Sara could finish. “Sleep is good.” _

_ “Not if you had a concussion, genius!” Sara wrapped an arm around Ava's waist and shoved the girl's arm around her own neck, trying her best to tighten Ava's body beside her. _

_ “Let’s go outside, we both need fresh air,” She let out a deep breath. “Man, this would be so much easier if you weren’t extraordinarily tall.” _

_ “I’m not that tall you’re just too short.” _

_ “I’m amused by how you can keep talking considering you're tripping over your feet,” Sara managed to take them outside without any interruptions. _

_ She sat Ava on a stone bench near the porch and took a couple of steps back trying to catch her breath. She waited for a second, watching Ava. _

_ The girl looked spaced out. She had a dreamy look and sometimes made a dorky face that Sara would find really cute if she wasn't so annoyed by her. _

_ “Look at me, Ava,” Sara approached and bent to hold her face, trying to get her attention. “Tell me your name.” _

_ “You just said, dummy,” Ava mocked, her face was so close that Sara could feel the alcohol in her breath. _

_ “Wow, okay, smartypants, I’m trying to figure out if you need medical attention.” _

_ “I need to talk to you right now,” Ray approached. Sara rolled her eyes immediately. _

_ “I’m busy right now, Ray.” _

_ “Just give me a second.” Ray pulled her by the arm, Sara followed him but keeping an eye on where Ava was sitting. _

_ He was disappointed, talking, again, about Nora and how he was wrong on thinking that she was interested in him. _

_ “It’s off okay? You don’t need to do this anymore.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “She never wanted me, she only wanted to get rid of her father and walk with those popular people.” _

_ Sara frowned. She didn’t have time for this conversation, she looked again at where Ava was sitting and then to Ray. She threw her hands up stopping him. “Dude, do you really like this girl?” _

_ “That’s not the point, Sara...” _

_ “It’s a yes or no question, Ray. Do you like her?” He nodded. “Okay, is she worth it?” _

_ Ray nodded again, exhaling. _

_ “Ray, I need you to understand something carefully the guys from our school is not half the guy you are!” Sara squeezed both his shoulders. “and, please, don’t let people make you feel like you don’t deserve what you truly want. You’re the best, remember? Don’t accept less than that.” _

_ Ray’s eyes softened and he raised his chin. “Thank you, Cap.” _

_ Sara smiled genuinely, even though she felt emotionally drained. She was saying the truth. All the kids in their school weren’t the half Ray Palmer was. He was just the sweetest person ever, with a golden heart, always ready to help his friends. He was always there for her. When her parents got divorced and all she just wanted to do was stay silent, he understood. He always had an optimistic smile and a wise thought to share. _

_ She watched him entering the house and headed to where Ava was. _

_ “No, no, no. Not sleeping,” She patted Ava’s face to wake her up. “Come on.” _

_ “Why are you slapping me?” Ava opened her eyes, in shock. _

_ “I don’t know, why are you being so difficult to deal with?” Sara spat. _

_ She clenched her jaw, feeling a headache starting to pumping her head. She didn't understand why she was still there, worried about Ava when the girl didn't give a damn. _

_ “Come on, the noise here is giving me a headache.” _

_ Against Ava's will, Sara grabbed her by the waist again and walked her into the garden. The girl started to giggle and Sara couldn’t help but laugh with her. _

_ “I would never read you as such a protective person." _

_ "Yes? Well, I would never have imagined someone as drunk as you using such big words.” _

_ Ava pushed her arm off and tried to walk on her own just to fall down a few steps ahead. Sara smiled. Even though Ava was being a total pain in her ass she felt this heat radiating her chest each time the girl did something, it could be the way she tried to walk or the way she zoned out and then came back saying something mean. _

_ Ava blew out a breath, lying on the grass. Sara knelt beside her and looked at her curiously. _

_ “Why are you doing this?” _

_ “I told you. You hit your head that might cause a concussion.” _

_ “Please, you don’t care if I never wake up.” _

_ Sara frowned at Ava’s coldness. Like all the buzz she was feeling because of the drinking wasn’t there anymore. _

_ “Sure, I do.” _

_ “Yeah? Why?” Ava’s look was intense and Sara felt a sudden need to lowered her head and avoid her eyes. _

_ “Well, if you weren't here I’d have to search for girls who actually like me,” Sara suggested, smiling. _

_ That answer softened Ava’s expression and she smiled back. _

_ “I wanted to see you trying to find one, Lance.” _

_ Sara bit her bottom lip trying to hold her laugh. She lay down next to Ava and let it out a deep breath, feeling her muscles relax. _

_ She closed her eyes feeling the coldness coming from the grass. “Why you let things get so easily into your head?” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Hmm, don’t get me wrong,” Sara leaned over to face Ava, propping herself up on her elbow. “You got pretty mad back then when you saw Derek.” _

_ “Oh. I hate him. Hate seeing my sister with him,” Sara watched Ava’s expression change from the dreamy drunk smiled to an intense glare. “Popular people... and, besides, he’s Travis friend.” _

_ Sara frowned. _

_ “That homophobe from our literature class.” _

_ “Oh, yeah,” Sara said, clenching her jaw as she remembered what the guy said about Ava earlier. _

_ “However, I don’t think you choose the best way to deal with this.” _

_ Ava shrugged, oblivious. _

_ “Tequila shots.” _

_ “Oh,” She giggled, squeezing her eyes shut, covering them with a hand. “I’m not used to drink like that.” _

_ Sara smiled at how adorable embarrassed Ava looked. “Seriously? I couldn’t say.” _

_ “Shut up, jerk.” Ava's hand rushed towards Sara's shoulder and gave her a soft punch. _

_ Sara, without thinking, covered Ava's hand with her own and held it there. Ava stopped laughed and Sara felt a rush of adrenaline tingling through her body and settle on her belly. She held Ava’s gaze for a moment, scanning the girl’s face and stopping in her lips. _

_ Sara felt a strong awareness of her heartbeat, it was almost as her heart was jumping inside the ribcage. She was startled by the unexpected need to kiss Ava. _

_ “Your eyes are really cute, you know,” Ava smiled, waking Sara up from her thoughts. Sara took some distance when she noticed how close they were. “It’s like I’m looking at the ocean.” _

_ She smiled, dropping her chin to her chest. “Yeah, it’s from my mom’s family.” _

_ The moment was gone. She got a sudden awareness that they were in Nate's garden and Ava was drunk, she should take her home instead of thinking about kissing her. _

_ “It’s getting cold,” she said. “Come on, I’ll take you home.” _

_   
  
  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, How it was? 
> 
> I'm planning to bring more situations before everything falls apart so I don't know if y'all have something in mind that y'all wanted to see here, tell me :) 
> 
> Thank you for being supportive with me and this story :)


	7. Bodies growing colder with the distance now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava got up and Sara followed her into the porch. She lifted a hand to Sara, “Thank you. Hmm… For everything.” 
> 
> “It was a pleasure, Aves.” 
> 
> Ava widened her eyes at the sound of the nickname and nodded, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, how are you doing?
> 
> I'm gonna change the rating because in this chapter it may have a part that it's classified as mild smut (?) I don't know, but it happened when Sara drove Ava to her house. so if you're not interested just jump, it's not that necessary for the plot. 
> 
> I want to apologize for any mistakes that it may have, English isn't my mother language so it's probably that I've made some mistakes. My girlfriend helps me edit but, like me, English isn't her first language.
> 
> By the way, thank you for helping me, dear :)
> 
> The tittle's from the song 'This time around by Tove Lo.'
> 
> Anyway, hope y'all have fun!

They went to a Coffee Shop near the restaurant. Sara chose a table next to a window, ordered their coffees and waited for Laurel. Her sister was still outside calling Tommy to say she would arrive home later than expected. 

“Sorry,” Laurel said, sitting on the chair across the table. “Tommy put Sophie on the phone to talk to me."

Laurel's eyes lit up as she spoke and Sara smiled back at her. As she remembered her niece, Sara felt her heart soften instantly. She loved that little girl more than anything. “How is she?”

“Well, pretty good, except for that part about tooth growth, but we’ve already talked about this over the brunch,” Sara rolled her eyes and Laurel pointed at her, “Come on, don’t do this. You know why we are here.” 

Sara shook her head, breaking their eye contact to stare out the window, taking a moment to organize her thoughts and choose what she wanted to share.

“There’s nothing much to say. I saw her Friday night at Ray’s place,” their coffee arrived and she waited for the waiter to leave, “I didn’t know she would be there. No one told me before. I tried my best to act like everything was okay.”

They stayed in silence for a moment. Sara remembered about the night, of course, it would be shocking. She hadn't seen Ava for so many years, and suddenly, the woman was right in front of her. Flesh and bone, with the most beautiful face she ever had lied her eyes on. 

She felt her heart melting a little each time Ava gave that cute smile, with her nose scrunched adorably, which apparently still had the same effect on her as it had years ago. Sara wouldn’t dare to say that out loud but she kinda misses being the reason Ava’s smiling. 

She lively shook her head to make those thoughts go away and turned her eyes to Laurel again who was watching her with curiosity. 

“Unfortunately, all my attempts to be prepared for this were in vain,” She continued. “The moment I saw her I was a teenager again. Well, I’m not that dumb, I managed to look cool,” Laurel smiled fondly. “But inside. I felt like my heart would jump out of my mouth at any moment.” 

Laurel nodded, understanding. 

“And what about her?” Sara quirked a brow at Laurel’s question. “I mean, how she acted when she saw you?” 

“I don’t know,” Sara smiled, joking. “She looked super tense but, again, she always looked like this so I don’t know. Sometimes I looked at her and it was visible she didn’t want to be there...”

Sara focused on a point behind Laurel as she tried to revisit that night and see Ava's body language again. 

“Maybe It wasn’t easy for her as well,” Laurel finished.

“Yeah, if I have to guess.” 

Sara took another long sip of coffee, trying to gain time to think. Despite the fact, she seemed to be comfortable there, Ava looked distant. She hadn’t even looked at Sara’s direction, only a few times when she probably thought Sara wasn’t noticing. 

"So what's your next move?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's clear that there's much more in this story, maybe if—"

“No,” Sara said before Laurel could finish. She knew where this would lead, she wasn't interested in "what if’s ...", she banned them a long time ago. “We had our chance, Laur, and we lost it.”

Laurel frowned, taking a sip of her coffee. "Yeah, but maybe it was the wrong moment, back then. You were just teens, things just got too dramatic to handle. But now??"

Sara breathed, shaking her head. It was not so easy, it wasn’t something that could be easily resolved with a conversation. She wouldn't dare talk to Ava about them and, after all, it isn’t like she has any interest in getting back to where things left off. It had been hard the first time, she wouldn't let herself get through that again. Besides, why would she talk to Ava about them if she didn’t feel anything for the woman?

“Why should I talk to her? it's not like there is anything to be said,” Sara answered. 

“Well, you’re the one who brought the subject so I supposed that...” Laurel narrowed her eyes, uncertain of what to say. 

“No, that was not what I meant,” Sara shook her head again. "I’m just…” 

“What?” 

She huffed, trying to choose her words, still in the process to understand what she was exactly feeling. What she thought she buried long ago, came back to life the moment she saw Ava. Her emotions continued so strong it was hard to analyze them without feeling angry or disappointed. 

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just confused by her presence. Surprised…” Sara wandered, chewing the inside of her cheek. “I knew she was coming back but, I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting to be true.”

Laurel studied her, “why not?”

“I don’t know… I guess it was because of the way she left, she always said she wanted to leave Star City, she didn't like it here,” Sara pinched her lips together. “I mean, even her father, who by the way was one of my teachers in college. When he mentioned her was always about her achievements. He wasn’t so sure she would be back someday.” 

“It must have been hard to be part of those conversations about her, considering what happened between you two.”

“Yeah, hmmm…” She tried to pretend she wasn't affected. “I don’t know, Laurel. Everything happened so fast and ended so fast between us. Sometimes I questioned myself if it was even real.”

Laurel’s eyes widened. 

“Not that I think about this very often,” Sara shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. “...or about her,” she completed. 

"Sure," Laurel mocked. 

Sara rolled her eyes. “The point is… Hmmm… I have to find a way to not be so affected by her presence.”

“I guess you have to ask yourself why first…”

Sara flinched her head slightly back. “Why?”

“Yeah, I mean, why do you still feel affected by her?” Sara opened her mouth to answer but Laurel continued, “I know, I know, you said you didn’t feel anything but, honey, if you didn’t why are you still thinking about it? Why are you affected?”

“I already told you, Laurel. I don’t—” 

“I think you’re hurt.” Sara slowly shook her head. “Come on, Sara. It’s me,” Laurel continued while Sara lowered her head, trying to avoid her sister's eyes. 

“I know there’s more to this story than you’re telling me, maybe even more than what you see.” 

“what? hmmm… I’m pretty sure of what I’m feeling.”

“You remember that I’ve known you since the day you were born, right?”

“I do my best to forget that,” Sara replied, crossing her arms against her chest. 

“Well, I know. I know you’re this amazing doctor, very good at your job, you’re an amazing friend, always ready to help those you love and people in general but—”

“I’m not interested in—,” Sara cut her sister off, not wanting to know where Laurel was going with that.

“...BUT you're negligent when it's about you. You think you don't deserve to be happy so you sabotage the opportunities life keeps putting in your way.” 

Sara shook her head vigorously. Her brain scrambling to find a good answer to give Laurel. 

“Why everything I share with you turns out to be a way of you giving me the same speech,” Sara shrugged. “Unbelievable.” 

“I’m just trying to help you figure out what you’re feeling,” Laurel said. “You know this is our thing. You came to me with something that you’re confused about and I pushed your buttons until you realized your feelings.”

Sara tilted her head, drawing her brows closer. 

“Don’t come for me just because you didn’t like what I said.” 

“Okay, let’s suppose that you are right.” 

Laurel raised her chin, shooting Sara a big smile. 

“I said, suppose, Laurel,” Sara rolled her eyes. 

She knew her sister was probably right but that didn’t mean she had to like it. It was complicated for her to talk about feelings. In her life, she did her best to prevent them from coming to light, because she wasn’t that good at expressing them and she hated to show that kind of weakness. However, her sister always thought that the best way to deal with something was talking about it and, of course, she was probably right because Laurel Lance was always right.  It was infuriating.

“What should I do?” 

Laurel shuffled back on her chair, her mouth slightly falling open. 

“Not that I’m really gonna do,” Sara flinched, noticing Laurel’s opening a smile. “Like I said let’s suppose you were right.” 

“You’re annoying.” 

Sara shrugged, a smug smile on the corner of her mouth. “I try my best.” 

“Look, I’m not gonna insist on this anymore… but, I know you have your guards up. You have been this way since, I don’t know, mom and dad’s divorced.” Sara opened her mouth to interrupt Laurel but Laurel motioned for her to stop. “... and I respect that, but I’m also afraid. Afraid of you never let someone in.” 

“Laurel, I’m fine.” 

“I know,” Laurel leaned slightly over the table to rest her hand over Sara's. “But you’re my baby sister and I care about you. I know you have been punishing yourself for things that happened a long time ago. Just…” Laurel smiled, rubbing the back of Sara’s hand. “don’t let it get between you and your happiness.” 

Sara took in a slow breath, smiling back and nodding. 

They stayed there for an hour and the conversation moved to other topics, Laurel shared a couple of things about her job that was bothering her lately and Sara gave her view about it. They talked about their parents getting back together and Sara repeated what she had said before, that it wouldn’t last and someone would end up being hurt... Probably her father. 

“Stop being so skeptical, just because it hasn't happened to you yet, it didn’t mean that love doesn’t exist.” 

“Not what I said,” Sara shrugged. “I only think there are some people who were not meant to be together.” 

“Well, you’re wrong. Every day we wake up having the chance to change and be better. Everybody needs a second chance.”

“Some wounds aren't easy to heal.”

* * *

_ Sara pulled up to Ava's house and stopped the car. She looked at the girl, Ava was staring out the car's window now. She didn't talk all the way home, just letting out a couple of noises each time Sara made a curve with the car.  _

_ "So…here we are," Sara broke the silence. "How are you feeling?"  _

_ The girl broke the silence starting to laugh compulsively.  _

_ "That was awesome!" Ava said. scrunching her nose as she laughed, little tears of joy coming out the corner of her eyes. "Ughh, I never felt so good, you know." _

_ Sara blinked, a smile showing on her lips as she looked at Ava's dorky face. She couldn't avoid the easy laugh that came to her whenever Ava said something.  _

_ "Ughh, " Ava released an appreciative sigh, catching Sara’s attention. "It was so good having my mind off these thoughts about my future, my family’s problems. It was just me."  _

_ Sara shifted her body position again to look at the street, avoiding the girl’s gaze. "Yeah, I know how you feel."  _

_ "You know, I was waiting for you to make a move on me." Ava turned her head. _

_ "What??" Sara laughed.  _

_ "Don't play dumb, Lance." Ava teased. She unblocked the seat belt and changed her body position to have a full view of Sara. "I know I'm a little drunk and-" _

_ "A little?"  _

_ Ava chuckled.  _

_ Sara watched the girl leaning towards her and tried her best to think. "Hmmm, hmmm…" She rambled.  _

_ "We shouldn't do…. This that I know you're thinking… You're drunk…" Sara rambled.  _

_ Ava laughed, "This isn’t the whole point of getting drunk?” She intensified her gaze, lowering to look at Sara's parted lips. “You do things you’d never do if you were sober.”  _

_ “You know, it’s really hard to go against your logic," Sara tried to hold her smile and look serious. _

_ “Of course it is, even when I’m drunk I’m smarter than you, Lance.” Ava raised a brow, teasing. _

_ “Being a show-off isn't that attractive, Sharpe.” _

_ “and somehow I caught your attention…”  _

_ “What can I say? I have a thing for annoying girls,” Sara smirked, giving the girl a side look. _

_ “So what are you waiting for?”  _

_ Sara’s smirk changed to a serious, but intense, expression. She felt her heart racing as she turned her look from the street above them to look at Ava's parted lips.  _

_ She felt so thrilled by the moment. The warmth inside the car slightly increased as they talked. The song that was playing on the radio, Ava's dilated pupils, her glow, her open and tempting body posture inviting Sara to close the distance between them.  _

_ Sara tried to control her breathing. Her tongue darting out to lick her very dry lips. She tried her best to think about something coherent enough to stop her from wanting to kiss Ava. _

_ Ava seemed to have read her thoughts because the next thing she did was reaching out a hand to cup Sara’s cheek, slipping her thumb to touch the dimple on Sara's chin. Sara smiled, closing her eyes. Ava’s touch made a shiver run through her spine and settled down on her upper back.  _

_ She kept her eyes closed, wouldn’t dare to open them and lost the courage she needed to do what she was about to do. It was funny, Sara was never the type of person who thought twice before doing something she really wants. She used to be the one who makes the first move, she liked to feel the control that it caused.  _

_ However, right now all she wanted was to let herself be kissed by Ava and let the girl take the control she was tired of keeping. _

_ She let it out a husk sigh, parting her lips. Leaning, even more, her hand found a place on Ava's waist and she stretched her fingers under Ava's shirt, squeezing slightly. That move made Ava lean more towards her body and she felt Ava's steamy breath against her. Sara moved to close the distance but before that Ava slammed her lips over Sara's. She opened her mouth with surprise and Ava took the chance and bit her upper lip.  _

_ Sara groaned. Ava's lips were everywhere, warm against hers. Ava opened her mouth as Sara took advantage to slide her tongue inside Ava's mouth. She tilted her head to deepen their kiss. Ava’s mouth was hard against hers and Sara could taste the tequila there. _

_ “Wow,” Sara whispered as she pulled back for a breath. _

_ “Yeah, me too,” Ava smiled against Sara’s lips, scattering sloppy kisses in Sara’s jaw. “You’re a really good kisser.”  _

_ Sara smiled and leaned her forehead against Ava’s seconds latter. She tried to focus on her breath and think about all the reasons this was a bad idea. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” _

_ It was hard to be reasonable when all she could think about was Ava’s lips or how well they matched at kissing or what else they would be good at. Ava’s breath was so close to her giving her all the bad ideas she wanted to do.  _

_ Sara knew she had to be the mature one there and stop what they were doing but, damn, it was hard. Ava had her eyes closed and a goofy expression on her face.  _

_ Ava shook her head, smiling, “shush, stop thinking.”  _

_ She sat on her seat again and Sara frowned.  _

_ “You know this position sucks,” Ava said as she turned her head to smirk at Sara. “Come over here.” _

_ She opened her mouth to answer but Ava interrupted moving her hand back at Sara trying her best to pull Sara's body to her lap. Sara gasped with surprise but let herself be pulled, making her best to not get hurt in the process. Once she was on her lap, Sara stared at Ava’s eyes, trying to catch a breath.  _

_ “Now it’s better,” Ava whispered. _

_ Sara cupped Ava’s cheeks with her hand stroking there with a thumb as she held Ava’s gaze. “You’re crazy, you know.”  _

_ “I told you to stop thinking,” Ava replied, kissing Sara again before she had a chance of saying anything back. _

_ Just as Ava said, Sara stopped thinking. She let herself be led by Ava’s kisses and didn’t think about what would come next. Sara felt Ava's hands stroking her waist, slightly scraping the nails over her back, making her legs tighten a grip against Ava's thighs. _

_ Sara broke the kiss wrapping her arm around Ava’s neck when she felt the girl kissing her collarbone. She felt Ava’s hands squeezing her ass and moaned at the contact. “We definitely shouldn’t be doing this, oh my God.” _

_ She tilted her head and started kissing Ava's neck. It was amazing how quickly she became such a mess on Ava’s lap. Her breath was getting heavier and it was really hot inside the car but she didn’t care anymore.  _

_ “Sara.”  _

_ “What, beautiful,” She answered between sloppy kisses on the girl’s cheeks.  _

_ Ava removed her hand from Sara’s body as she slightly pulled back from the kisses and patted the car door, trying to open the window. _

_ Ava pushed Sara’s off roughly, "Please open the door. Please." _

_ Sara leaned into her seat, in a strange position because she was still on the passenger side and opened the passenger door. _

_ Ava stood up, leaning over the sidewalk and throwing up. Sara left the car and rushed to stand next to Ava and gathered her hair and held it back.  _

_ Sara stroked Ava's back and whispered words of comfort, trying her best to help. “Sh, sh, sh. It’s okay, let it go.”  _

_ When she realized that Ava was done, Sara ran to the car to find an old shirt that she had in the trunk. She handed the shirt to Ava who was now sitting on the sidewalk, away from the place she threw up, with a hand on her temple.  _

_ Sara sat next to her, stroking a hand on her back again. “Hey, feeling better?”  _

_ “Ugh, I hate myself.”  _

_ “Don’t say that,” Sara gave a comforting smile, trying to calm Ava’s nerves. “This is natural, it happens all the time.”  _

_ “Yeah, not with me,” Ava kept her hands on her face, trying to hide.  _

_ “Hey, look at me,” Sara kept a smile, finding Ava’s embarrassment actually cute. She removed Ava’s hands off her face and with another hand she held Ava’s chin to properly look at her. “It’s really okay. I promise you, okay?”  _

_ “Okay,” Ava nodded, shadowing Sara's nod. “I’m sorry, for… hmm…”  _

_ “It’s okay, we are good,” Sara assured, kissing Ava’s cheek. “Tomorrow you will feel better.”  _

_ Ava got up and Sara followed her into the porch. She lifted a hand to Sara, “Thank you. Hmm… For everything.”  _

_ “It was a pleasure, Aves.”  _

_ Ava widened her eyes at the sound of the nickname and nodded, smiling. _

_ "Hmmm ... You should drink water and take aspirin. Tomorrow you will feel better."  _

_ “Okay, thanks.” Ava nodded, opening the door. “Night.”  _

_ “Good night, Ava,” Sara replied and walked to her car when the girl closed the door.  _

_ She sat inside her car for a while, still processing what just happened. She looked for her phone to text Nate that she was coming back to her house and that tomorrow she would pick up Ava's car at his place.  _

_ She opened a couple of texts Ray had sent an hour ago.  _

_ “NORA AND I KISSED!!!”  _

* * *

Sara didn't go home right away. She declined the ride Laurel offered saying she wanted to walk for a while. It was too early to go home, her friends would probably be there, in her living room, talking and stealing her food. Not that she didn't want them to be around, she loved hanging out with them, but the conversation with Laurel gave her more doubts than answers and she wanted some time alone to organize her thoughts.

She stood on the sidewalk, plugged in her headphones and went over her apps, opening Tinder. She weighed asking someone out, a drink and some late night company would help her deal with the mixed feelings she has for Ava. However, she wasn’t interested in going through the annoying stage of meeting someone new that would end with mediocre sex. 

She decided to just walk around the neighborhood. That would be probably more healthy than the things she was wanting.

It was only in the early evening she decided to go home. It was a good idea, now her house was silent, her roommates probably got something to do and weren’t there. Sara thought about going out again, to a club, finding someone to spend the night with. 

She looked through her messages and there were a couple of messages Charlie sent on the group chat they had with Mona,  _ HELLmates _ _ ™. _

_ “where r u?? _

_ We were having a little reunion happening _

_ at our place  _

_ She’s here!!!” _

Sara knew Charlie was talking about Ava. It was obvious. 

She ordered an uber and a couple of minutes later a black sedan pulled into the avenue and came to a stop near where she was waiting. 

“ _ Sara Lance? _ ”

She nodded and climbed in the back seat. The driver was a young woman, she smiled from the rearview mirror and asked if Sara wanted to change the temperature but Sara said it wasn’t necessary. 

After that, they remained quiet for the drive back to Sara’s building.   
  


* * *

_ Sunday afternoon, 2004. _

_ Sara never felt that awkward. Well, she had been through embarrassing situations before but had been so long, she thought it might not happen again anytime soon. However, here she was, sitting in the driver's seat of Ava's car trying to figure out if she should bring the subject about what happened last night or if she should let Ava make the first move to talk.  _

_ It didn’t matter, actually. She was here to bring Ava’s car back. The night before she took Ava home in her car because the girl couldn’t drive on her own, and made a promise of bringing Ava’s car back as soon as possible.  _

_ Her thoughts went back to the night before, Sara laughed. It wasn’t the first time she thought about last night. She played the memories back and forth during the day.  _

_ She wondered if Ava would remember about their making out session.  _

_ She knocked on Ava’s door. Bouncing her left leg nervously. She thought about how ridiculous she was being. There’s no reason to feel nervous about anything. She was just returning Ava’s keys and leaving. _

_ Except, it was Sunday, so probably Ava’s father would be there and the chances of him opening the door were frighteningly higher. Sara scratched her jawline trying to calm herself. _

_ “Hello,” Someone greeted making her suddenly open her eyes. She swallowed. It was Ava’s dad probably. _

_ “Hey,” she gasped.  _

_ “Who are you?”  _

_ “Oh, sorry, Sir,” Sara raised her hand to greet him. “I’m Sara Lance.”  _

_ Ava's father's eyes widened slightly as if he recognized her name. That did nothing to calm Sara down. _

_ “Call me Randy. I assume you’re a friend of one of my daughters.”  _

_ Sara remembered how friendly she and Ava were last night and If she could see herself she would confirm how flustered she was right now. _

_ “Yeah, I’m a friend of Ava, we have classes together. I’m the one who brought her home last night, Sir.”  _

_ “Oh,” His eyes softened, probably because he felt thankful for her helping Ava. “Thank you, Sara. I’m sorry that you had to take care of her drunk ass.”  _

_ **“DAD!”** Sara recognized the voice yelling, it was Ava.  _

_ She smiled, thinking about how annoyed Ava must be with her dad.  _

_ “I bet she would do the same for me, Sir,” Sara replied. “Hmm, I brought her car. _

_ “Good, good. You know what they said, don’t drink and drive.”  _

_ Sara and Randy laughed. _

_ “Ow, please, she’s not more responsible than me,” Ava yelled again, inside the house.  _

_ “Well, darling the last events suggest the opposite.”  _

_ Sara smiled, bowing to the side to peer at the house's entrance and maybe spotted Ava. _

_ “Hmm, can I talk to her, Sir? Please.”  _

_ “I’m sorry, but no. She’s grounded for being such an irresponsible child.” _

** _“I’M NOT A CHILD DAD!” _ **

_ “Look, Miss Lance. I’m really thankful for you helping Ava and bringing back her car. You're a very good friend.”  _

_ Sara nodded, her cheeks flushing.  _

_ “I want to properly thank you, what about you coming tomorrow to have dinner with us?”  _

** _“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, DAD?” _ **

_ “Don’t worry about her, she’s just annoyed because I took her phone.” _

_ “Oh, Hmm…”  _

_ “I won't take no for an answer, Miss Lance.”  _

_ “Hmmm…” Sara rambled. “Okay, then. Thank you, Sir.”  _

_ “Tomorrow at school Ava will talk to you about the dinner," Randy smiled and held out his hand for Sara to hand over Ava's car keys. "Have a nice evening, Miss Lance."  _

_ Sara walked out the porch to where Nate was waiting for her in his car. He studied her for a moment when she sat on the passenger seat, noticing the frown on her face.  _

_ “That was fast,” He said, frowning.  _

_ "Oh, man, I'm screwed," Sara said, resting her elbow on the car window and putting her forehead over her palm.  _

_ "What? Why?" _

_ “Ava’s father demanded that I come back on Monday to have dinner with them.”  _

_ Nate laughed. “Ow, man. You’re gonna face the beast sooner than Ray. That’s gonna be fun.”  _

_ Sara poked him in the shoulder. “Stop laughing!”  _

_ “Whoa,” He gasped, massaging the place she punched. "You know, you're weirdly strong, remember you're forbidden from hitting us." _

_ "I'm allowed to revoke that when you act like an idiot." _

_ “Okay, okay. Be cool.” He started the car to leave. A few minutes later and Sara was still quiet so he decided to break the silence. “So… What are you gonna do?” _

_ “I don’t know yet, I mean…” She wandered. “I need to talk with Ava for sure.”  _

_ “Not forgetting that you hate parents.”  _

_ “Yeah, but… It’s not just that,” Sara sighed. “This situation is becoming serious, I don’t know what to do.” _

_ “Well, talk with her then you will know what to do.”  _

_ “Oh, wow, thank you, Nathaniel. How did I not think of that before? You’re so smart!” Sara sarcastically said.  _

_ “Needless to say that but I’ll forgive you just because you had met your girlfriend’s scary dad.”  _

_ "SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" _

* * *

As she stood in the doorway of her apartment Sara took a step back when she heard the sound of people talking.  _ Yeah, they were there _ . She considered going to another place until the reunion ended, but as soon as the idea came to her, she got rid of it because, well, it was her apartment after all. She just wanted to take a shower and relax.

After a few seconds of struggle, Sara took the key from her jacket, introduced it on the keyhole, raised her chin and opened the door. 

The warm sound of conversation there stopped the moment she opened the door and stopped to look through the living room where her friends and Ava were sitting. 

“Hey, guys,” She waved and closed the door behind her. “What’s up?”

They greeted back saying hi's and asking her to join them, trying to hide the sudden discomfort created just because she and Ava were sharing the same place. She excused herself saying she needed to reach for something to drink and walked towards the kitchen to take a bottle of water and wished she could just erase her story with Ava so it wouldn't be that awkward being around her. 

She glanced with the corner of her eyes to spot Ava sitting on the floor, near the coffee table writing something on a notebook. She looked comfortable and somehow Sara felt a warm increase in her heart. 

“You should join us. We are talking about the bachelor party. Well, the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Nora and Ray.” Nate explained. 

“Well, I’m not the best man, am I?” Sara raised a brow. 

“Well, no,” Nate looked as if he was trying to think of a proper answer. “But neither Charlie and Zari were bridesmaids and yet they are here, helping.” 

“Hmmm, to be honest, Charlie is turning down all the ideas we had, so ... hmm, " Ava raised her head, stopping talking when she noticed that everyone was looking at her.

“It’s not my fault that you guys are boring.” 

Ava smiled genuinely and rolled her eyes. Yes, she definitely looked comfortable there. That thought didn't bother Sara and she unconsciously smiled making everyone turn their look at her. She realized they were looking and cleared her throat, "Well, it seems like you guys have it all figured out. I'm going to my room to relax.” 

“Ow, come on. Seriously?” Nate replied. 

“Yeah, please. I need someone to be by my side against these dummies.” Charlied replied

They look expectantly at her. Ava looked at her like she was trying to read Sara.

“Hmm… Just give me a moment to take a shower and change these clothes.”

That was weird, despite the reception being awkward when she arrived, Ava looked abnormally chill in her house. It was different from Friday night, Sara thought, remembering how quiet she was. 

She shook her head closing the door behind her. 

* * *

_ Monday morning Sara arrived at School earlier than she was used to. She wanted to talk to Ava before the class they had together started.  _

_ Which turned out to be useless. The girl wasn't in any place she searched which made Sara more annoyed thinking about all the sleep she lost just to be at school sooner and it was in vain. Sara even went to the library but Ava wasn't there.  _

_ She headed to the Literature class and took a seat at the back of the class as usual. It was so odd not to see Ava already there, the girl was always one of the first students to arrive.  _

_ Sara took her phone from her backpack to scroll through her messages searching for something interesting to do before the teacher came in.  _

_ It was only a few minutes after that she heard some noise starting to grow there. She raised her head just to catch Ava entering the class as if she was making her best to avoid eye contact with anyone there. _

_ "Hey, Sharpie, Saturday night you dance the rhythm of my heart, dear!" Sara widened her eyes and the same moment Ava glared over the class and stopped on her.  _

_ Sara saw Ava's cheeks turn very red and felt sorry. She started to get up from her seat and say something to defend Ava, but the cold look on the girl's face made her step back. _

_ "Leave me alone, loser," Ava turned to look at the guy who harassed her and probably took all the pride she had left raising her chin to walk where she usually sits. _

_ "Dance for us, girl." Someone fired from the other side and suddenly, all the students started a whispering conversation with quiet giggles. _

_ Sara felt new admiration for Ava growing inside her.  _

_ The teacher entered the classroom greeting the students and asking how the weekend had been. Travis came in immediately after him and took the seat behind Ava. _

_ Sara saw the guy leaning over to Ava and saying something that, due to the distance, she didn't understand. The next moment, Ava rose from her chair and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.  _

_ Sara widened her eyes and got up from the chair. The teacher tried to calm the situation asking them to sit but Ava ignored.  _

_ “You know, I’m really done with you, idiot!”  _

_ “It’s not my fault that you embarrassed yourself at that party, Sharpie.”  _

_ “STOP YOU TWO! NOW!” Mr. Morgan yelled.  _

_ Travis tried to push Ava away and she took the opportunity and threw a punch that hit him right in the eye.  _

_ “Oh my God, my hand!!” Ava said, shaking the hand she used to hit him. _

_ Sara covered her mouth with her hand, shocked by the way the situation unfolded.  _

_ “Your hand??? Look what you've done with my face, you bitch!” Travis yelled at her, leaving the class covering his face.  _

_ “Okay, that’s enough!! I want everyone to sit in their chairs!" Mr. Morgan said, returning to his table, a scolding look on his face. He saw Ava sit back at her seat and added, "Oh, not you miss Sharpe. You're gonna see the principal. Now!" _

_ Sara couldn't see Ava's face because she was a few seats behind, but she heard the huff of anger the girl let out as she left the room.  _

_ Without asking for permission, Sara took her backpack and left the class, following Ava. _

* * *

Sara chose to put on black sweatpants, a white tank top, and socks with her  _ Adidas  _ slippers. She tied her damp hair on a loose bun and left her room, absently scrolling through her phone.

“Cute flip flops,” Nate said when she walked to sit on the couch near him. 

“Fuck off, Heywood,” Sara made herself comfortable, sitting on her legs and resting her hands over a cushion. “So, where are we on the decisions about the bachelor party?” 

They all started to talk at the same time making it impossible for Sara to understand what each one was saying. 

“Alright, alright, guys. Be cool.” Sara waved a hand to the group, grimacing. “Let's try again but one at a time, okay?” 

“By the way, shouldn’t this have been discussed before? I mean ... Ray and Nora's wedding is in a week.” She continued.

“I had forgotten your ability to make obvious statements,” Ava gave a half-smile, slightly tilting her head. She shifted from one side to next and returned to look at the notebook lying on the coffee table.

Sara took a second to process that Ava had said that directly at her. Which was odd because not two days before Ava was giving her the cold treatment.

“I was being rhetorical, Miss Sharpe,” Sara glared towards Ava, smirking. “Proceeding…”

“Okay, well, we discussed some ideas but superficially. Charlie wanted to go to Vegas but the idea hasn't been well explored.” Nate replied. 

“I haven't ruled out Vegas, I just think it would be interesting if it didn't involve any travel when the wedding is so close.” 

Sara knew Ava was right. However, admitting that out loud was a situation she wasn’t willing to put herself with:  _ Agreeing with Ava Sharpe _ . 

“I think we should talk more about Charlie’s idea.”

“ _ So predictable, _ ” Ava whispered in a way that went unnoticed by the others there but not by Sara.

Sara smiled, staring down her hands while Charlie and Nate talked about Vegas.

_ Some things never change. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it was good? 
> 
> Honestly, I had so much fun writing this chapter and I can't wait to share the next one. 
> 
> I'm gonna try my best to update next weekend, see ya!!


	8. The paradise you showed me is now buried in the dust.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She stood there for a while, taking a glance around the living room. A part of her wanting to study Sara's space, find any trace of her personality there, trying to get a sight of the woman Sara turned out to be. "
> 
> +
> 
> Sara and Ava finally talk after what happened at Nate's party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Gabs, for always helping me with the writing and beta reading, ily ❤️

_ As she ran out of her class, Ava thought about her attempt to go unnoticed on this day turned out to be useless. Everything went wrong in the first class. She couldn’t say she was surprised though. This was a class she took with most of the idiots who were at that Nate Heywood Party. _

_ It was a pretty fucked _ _ up situation _ _ . Sara Lance was one of the people she didn’t want to see so soon but the moment she entered Mr. Morgan’s class, the girl was there, giving her worried looks and Ava’s only wish was not to be there. _

_ To make things worse, she had to deal with whispers and innuendos from other students. She couldn't stand Sara's worried expression changing to pity with that stupid sorry smile she saw rising on the corner of Sara's mouth. She extended Sara a cold warning look, feeling the need to assure herself that she was still in control. However, it meant nothing because the moment Travis arrived and talked to her everything went downhill and she lost it. _

_ Ava sat in one of the corridor benches pondering if she should knock Mrs. Davis door or just wait to see what happens, she wasn't in a good mood for hearing another lecture about her temper. _

_ However, this time wouldn’t be just a lecture. She had hit Travis on his stupid face, which felt amazing but would probably get her in trouble. _

_ As if the whole weekend hadn't been enough. _

_ She exhaled heavily, leaning over with her elbows on her knees. She rubbed her eyes, trying to hold back the angry tears from falling. The hand she used to punch Travis was still sore. She started to massage again trying to focus on something real. _

_ That's the reason she hated those parties. How people used to be so open to just having fun and live their lives, but then it would only take one point off the curve and something so insignificant, like getting wasted, could become a subject at school the next day. _

_ She was so frustrated. Hearing Travi’s stupid commentary about her dancing it was just the last drop needed to overflow the water glass. _

_ She was so done with this school, suffocating her. Ava was so deep in her thoughts that it took her a moment to listen to a whistle coming from the adjacent corridor. _

_ Narrowing her eyes, she was ready to accept that was her mind giving signals about how tired she was. _

_ A couple of seconds later, she noticed _ _ a figure appearing quickly and then hiding again behind the wall. _

_ Ava heard the same whistle again and walked towards there to see who it was. _

_ “Finally.” _

_ “What are you doing here, Lance?” Ava stopped rubbing her hand and crossed her arms against her chest. _

_ “Ava, hey.” Sara forced a smile. “How are you? I’m fine, thank you for asking.” _

_ “Look, I don’t have time for this,” Ava muttered, taking a step closer to Sara. “If you didn’t notice, I'm very screwed right now.” _

_ “I did,” Sara replied, taking Ava’s hurt hand in hers. She inspected for a few seconds and applied pressure on the knuckles. “I wanted to know how you were doing. That punch was awesome, you know? But you need to get better at the techniques.” _

_ “What are you doing?” Ava asked, looking over to Sara’s hands massaging her. _

_ “You were doing it the wrong way,” Sara explained. She glanced around to see if someone was coming and continued, “What about you skip this amazing conversation you would have with the Principal and come with me.” _

_ “What?” Ava laughed. _

_ “Oh, come on, Ava,” She approached to speak in a lower tone. " Do you really want to hear the same speech Ms. Davis gave us last week?" _

_ Ava didn’t answer right away. She bit her lower lip, considering either going with Sara or waiting for Mrs. Davis to give her another speech about how she should try to be more sociable. _

_ “Okay, fine,” Ava sneaked a look to the Principal’s door and then turned to follow Sara._

* * *

It was the worst idea ever to come to this reunion, Ava complained to herself as she waited for Mona to open the door. She exhaled hard and checked her phone. 

She should have suggested a neutral place for this reunion, a place where Sara's presence wasn't so... evident. 

"Hey, Ava!" Mona enthusiastically greeted her, opening a space to let her in. "Welcome. I'm really happy that you could manage to come." 

"Hello, Mona," she answered weirdly, trying to avoid her need to explore the place. "Thanks, for letting me participate in this."

_ Ughh _, she felt so socially awkward towards her sister’s friends. 

“Are you kidding?? This is huge,” Mona said with the same enthusiasm from before. “You have to be a part of it.”

Not to mention how excited Mona was about the wedding. It was sweet but also very exhausting. Ava remained in silence, giving Mona a faltering smile, as she calmly walked through the hallway.

It was so odd to be at Sara's place, she didn’t imagine it would happen so early or that would happen at all. Ava looked around trying to find any piece of evidence that would prove Sara really lives there. 

She smiled cordially, "This is a… really nice place."

"Thank you," Mona replied while she took Ava's coat and shoved against the door. "Most of the design here it's from Sara and Charlie. I'm trying to give my touch though." 

“Do you want anything to drink? We have wine, beer, juice… Oh,” she added quickly. “there’s also that sideboard with Sara's drinks. We may have whiskey, tequila and maybe some kind of liquor... I don't know, I'm not used to drinking." 

Ava nodded, following with her eyes where Mona was pointing. “Thank you, Mona. Ummm. I don’t like to drink that much so… Water?” 

“Oh my God, I'm also not used to drinking,” Mona replied, lively. “Give me a minute, I’ll bring your water. Oh, please be comfortable. For now, it’s just us but I know the other girls and Nate will be here soon.”

Mona left her alone in the middle of the living room to get the water. 

She stood there for a while, taking a glance around the living room. A part of her wanting to study Sara's space, find any trace of her personality there, trying to get a sight of the woman Sara turned out to be. 

A huge white L-shaped sofa, with purple pillows, separated the living room from the kitchen island and was positioned in front of the main point of the room: a bookcase with a TV in the center and a large number of books stacked on the shelves. Ava wondered which of the titles would be Sara's, feeling a sudden curiosity to explore.

The glass sliding door that led to the balcony was framed by gray curtains. There's a crack open where the wind was entering, leaving an airy feeling in the room. Ava felt a breeze brushing against her skin and she rubbed the goosebumps from her arms.

On the hallway wall, that probably led to the rooms, were hung some art pictures and photographs. But from where she was, almost in the middle of the living room, she couldn’t see clearly who was in the photos.

She felt like an intruder, moving into Sara's privacy. 

"Here," Mona said, waking her from her thoughts and offering her a glass of water. “I’m so glad we finally have some time to spend together. Nora is one of my best friends.” 

Ava smiled. She found the girl so sweet and easy to talk to. It was odd to think about her sister being friends with a girl like Mona. _ No _, not that Nora from years ago. However, this new Nora?? The one who will marry the sweetest guy ever. That Nora would be friends with someone so kind as Mona. 

She thought about her sister.

Her friends, her world, her work... Even that she kept a closer relationship with Nora through the years. That view of her life was something she was only perceiving now. 

All those people who were a part of Nora’s life probably knew her better than Ava. _ Oh, please don’t go there. _

She shook her head.

“I don’t know if you have time to look at our Youtube channel,” Mona continued. Ava nodded at her, remembering the girl talking about that in the day they met. It was a channel about books and actually fitted Nora very well because she worked at a book publisher. 

“Hmm, no, sorry, Mona. I didn’t have time yet, but I will, I love books,” She assured. 

“Oh, really?” Mona looked excited at her. “You should participate in our book club. Right now we’re in a hiatus but I hope soon we’ll have time to schedule a reunion.” 

Ava nodded, trying to show some interest in Mona’s over talking. 

_ Her sister was in a book club. _

That thought gave her a new light about the woman her sister is and she smiled, which Mona took that as a positive response to what she was saying.

“Oh, you’re gonna love it so much!”

“What?” 

“Being part of the book club,” Mona explained as they sat on the couch. “I know you and Sara had some issues back in the past but-”

“What?” _ Oh, lord, even Mona knows _.

The girl covered her mouth with a hand, shocked by what she just said. 

“I can guarantee you, Mona.” Ava continued. “Sara and I don't have any issues between us.” 

“_ Oh _, I’m sorry I’m so stupid! It wasn’t my intention to bring this subject, Ava.” 

"Yeah, Umm, it’s okay," Ava replied, trying the best she could to hide her emotions. She looked around trying to find a spot to focus. "Hmm, are you sure this is okay? I mean, with the… others who live here..." 

By others she meant… _ Sara _. 

Ava didn't know if the woman was okay with the reunion being at her place. She didn't want to impose her presence and turn things awkward by making Sara feel uncomfortable in her own house. 

"It's okay,” Mona replied, looking slightly confused. “It's something that kinda involves everybody from the group, right?? Everybody will come. Nate and Charlie, Zari… and, Oh, we texted Sara, she's having brunch with her family but she will be here too."

Once again Ava felt overwhelmed by them. Their friendship, closeness, and intimacy. Once again she will invade their territory like an observer, trying to understand the place she occupied there. 

"What about Nora and Ray?" 

"Oh, they're having a romantic dinner across the hall. That's why we are having this conversation here, actually." 

"_ Oh, I get it. _ " And there it goes, her social glue. _ Amazing. _ Good thing Zari would be there. 

Zari, just another one she used to know but not anymore. 

Ava swallowed sharply trying to keep the strength to handle the rest of the night.

* * *

_They walked side by side through the empty corridors of the school. They tried not to draw attention to them, afraid of someone asking why they were not in their classes and stopping only when they reached the edge of the soccer field, they headed to the bleachers searching for seats that were more isolated from view. _

_ “There,” Sara pointed. “I guess it’s distant enough, no one will come for us.” _

_ “Cool,” Ava replied, following the other girl. _

_ There was a group of boys training soccer, but it was far out of Sara’s sight to identify which class they were from. _

_ They sat and watched the training for a moment. None of them was willing to start the conversation. Sara heard Ava take a deep breath and turned her head to see Ava relax her posture for a moment and then stretching her back. _

_ Now that she was alone with Ava, Sara didn't know how to bring the subject and talk about what happened Saturday night. _

_ She noticed the girl opening her mouth to say something and then closed again letting out a huff. Sara decided to put an end to that silence before it got too awkward. _

_ "So," Sara said. "How’s your hand?" _

_ Ava hummed, lowering her head to inspect her hand. She shrugged, “It’s better. Thank you.” _

_ Sara smiled and nodded, “Cool, cool.” _

_ She leaned over, supporting her weight with her right forearm against the walking surface of the superior bench. "The way you punched him was… a very sweet move, seriously." _

_ Ava smiled, her hands laying absently on her lap. _

_ "... Although, you should practice your technique more. For... you know... not getting hurt in the process." Sara nodded at Ava’s hands. _

_ Ava scrunched her nose, "Of course you know how to fight." _

_ "Yeah, that's kind of my thing… I've been practicing martial arts since I was nine," Sara smirked, feeling very proud of herself. _

_ Ava gave her a once-over and let it out a scornful laugh. _

_ "If you want I'd love to teach you..." _

_ "Sure, Sara." _

_ She smiled and nipped at her lip, turning her face to look over the soccer field, breaking eye contact with Ava. _

_ “What about your Sunday? How bad was the hangover?” Sara asked, watching the girl straightened her spine beside her. _

_ "Well, pretty good. Considering that I could practically feel my brain hitting against the sides of my skull every time I moved," She turned to look at Sara when she heard the girl chuckling. _

_ She smiled in response, still watching Sara with curiosity. _

_ "Umm, sorry, I didn't want to make fun of what you went through, I know how bad a hangover can be," Sara gave her an apologetic smile and swallowed as she noticed Ava moistening her lips. "But, umm, the way you talked was fun. You're fun." _

_ Ava slightly nodded her head, “Thanks... I guess.” _

_ It was so unusual for her, feeling this unsure. She wasn’t expecting to feel that way towards Ava. It was very new and very complicated because of the circumstances because she was trying to help Ray but at the same time, she was intrigued by the girl and wanted to get to know her better. _

_ "I can hear your brain working to find the words to say now, Lance," Ava gave Sara a sideways look, a mischievous smile coming out of the corner of her mouth, " Stop it, you don't have that many brain cells left to lose." _

_ “Haha, funny,” Sara looked at Ava as if her pride had been hurt but then she smiled genuinely. “didn’t know you’re capable of that.” _

_ “Oh, yeah? stay tuned. I have some cards up my sleeve.” _

_ Sara tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. _

_ “So, hmmm, about...” She started to ramble. _

_ “I know what you’re trying to say.” Ava cut her off. _

_ “What?” _

_ “It’s about Saturday night,” Ava explained, looking down to her hands and avoiding Sara. “Look, I’m sorry, okay. For moving too strong on you.” _

_ “What?” Sara narrowed her eyes and shook her head. She straightened her spine and pulled Ava's arm so the girl would look at her. “No, look, it’s not that.” _

_ Ava looked at her again, narrowing her eyes. _

_ “It’s serious. Look,” She held her hand to Ava's chin and slightly lifted so she could focus on her eyes. “ I didn’t know how to bring the subject because... I’m worried about you, I don’t know, but you didn’t seem to be the kind of girl who gets trashed at parties. This could be... hard to deal with once you get sober." _

_ “Oh,” _

_ “Yeah,” Sara smiled. _

_ “Umm,” Ava fumbled. “I’m fine. You’re right but, hmmm, I’m fine.” _

_ “Cool,” Sara nodded, letting go off Ava’s chin and shoving her hands inside her jacket pockets and looking again at the field. _

_ “And, hmm, I’m sorry… For dragging you to that. I didn’t want to force you to… Hmmm, you know,” Ava gestured as if she was trying to simulate with her hands what she couldn't finish saying. _

_ “Oh,” Sara’s eyes widened in understanding and she smiled. “You didn’t force me to do anything, Ava Sharpe. I was really into that.” _

_ Ava’s stomach flipped as she noticed the way Sara emphasized ‘really’. _

_ She let escape a nervous chuckle and then recomposed herself, stretching her spine. _

_ “Umm,” Ava cleared her throat as her cheeks reddened. “, yeah. Me too.” _

_ “Really?” _

_ “Don’t do this, Lance,” She rolled her eyes at Sara’s cocky smile. “It’s not attractive.” _

_ Sara smirked, “I don’t know, Sharpe. You seemed to be very interested.” _

_ They talked for a while and returned to the school building when the warning bell started to ring. Sara assured Ava that Travis would do nothing against her, he was too busy taking care of his hurt ego after getting punched by a girl in the middle of class. _

_ Ava chuckled. She found it easy to laugh when Sara was around. _

_ Once they approached Ava's locker, she turned to Sara and studied her for a moment before speaking. _

_ “Look, there’s no need to come at that stupid dinner that my father forced you to say yes,” She said. “He’s just trying to punish me.” _

_ “How?” _

_ “Well, he’ll probably try to embarrass me for coming home drunk,” She took a book from her locker and shoved it inside her backpack. _

_ “Now that is something I want to see,” Sara chuckled, watching Ava roll her eyes. “But I won’t if it will make you feel uncomfortable.” _

_ She waited for Ava to slug the backpack on her shoulder and they started to walk to their next class. _

_ "Hey, guys!!" Nate jumped in front of them with a video camera aimed at the girls. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" _

_ "What the hell is this?" Sara asked, trying to avoid looking at the camera. _

_ Ava turned her glare to the other side of the hallway and let a lock of hair cover her face, avoiding being filmed. _

_ "Senior year is coming to an end and I thought to myself, why not film our last moments here? Who knows what will happen to us in, I don't know, 10 years? Will we still be friends? Will we have achieved what we want??” _

_ Nate focused the camera on Sara's face again as they walked. _

_ "What do you want for the future, Sara?" _

_ “You’ll see very soon if you don’t put the camera away from my face!” She warned. _

_ Ava giggled beside her and Nate turned the camera to focus on her. _

_ He paced to the other side of the hallway. "So, Ava. What do you expect from the future?" _

_ "Hmm," she blinked, nervously. "I don't know. Not being here??" _

_ "Are you asking me or telling me?" _

_ "Leave her alone, idiot," Sara leaned against Ava's side to shove the camera away. _

_ “It’s fine, Sara,” She calmed Sara by placing a hand on her shoulder. “Nate??” She turned her head to look at the camera. “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” _

_ “Ummm, easy!” He answered but the focus of the camera remained on Ava’s face as they walked. “History researcher, like an investigator or something.” _

_ “Interesting, So you would be like Indiana Jones, huh?” _

_ “YES!!” _

_ Sara laughed and placed a hand on Ava's waist. _

_ “Oh, you just made his day, Aves,” she said, pressing Ava close to the warmth of her body. _

_ Ava opened her mouth to say something but closed, watching Sara’s smile by the corner of her eyes. She felt dizzy by the girl’s cherry scent and her nerves tingled throughout her body. If she wasn’t being held by Sara she would probably have fallen on the floor or, at least, lose the ability to walk naturally. _

_ The action didn't go unnoticed by Nate or Gary, who was waiting for her in the doorway of the Art History class. He had a mischievous smile and Ava only hoped that Sara didn’t notice his enthusiasm when they stopped to talk with him. _

_ They stood there for a while, waiting for the teacher to come. Nate kept his filming asking other people about their future. Gary jumped in front of the camera and started to ramble about senior year, which made Nate slightly annoyed. _

_ Sara and Ava laughed at the scene and Sara tightened her grip on Ava's waist. Ava felt, once again, that her heart was in her mouth. Beside her, Sara seemed to be very chill mocking Nate's attempt to be a filmmaker. _

_ Sara withdrew her arm from around Ava's waist when she noticed some friends across the hall and walked to greet them and Ava was finally capable of letting go of the breath she was holding. _

_ “See ya,” Sara nodded and turned to leave with her friends but Ava stopped her by holding her arm. _

_ “You can come if you want,” She said. “I mean if you don’t have anything better to do.”_

* * *

As the night went on, Ava had managed to relax a little. Especially after Zari and Nate arrived. Within the small group, they were the only ones she was close to. Zari had been her friend since high school and Nate, in a couple of days, would be her co-worker which had brought them closer together. 

She was feeling satisfied with herself. Not only did she manage to have a nice evening with people she didn't know that well, but she also made progress with the decisions about the bachelor party.

Charlie and Nate tried to convince all of them to go to Las Vegas, splitting the group up at night to give Ray and Nora a separate bachelor party. Nate insisted by saying that afterward they could reunite in the middle of the night and enjoy the rest of the little trip together. 

Ava agreed about the different parties, it doesn’t make sense only one party as Mona had suggested. She did not agree to fly to Vegas, not when the wedding was happening at the end of the week. 

First, it looked like they understood how absurd the idea was, but then Sara arrived home and blew it by saying how Nate's idea was awesome. Ava was sure the woman only wanted to antagonize her, which was very typical of the childish behavior Sara seemed to have preserved over the years.

Sara, Ava, and Nate were in the living room arguing about the possible trip and, in the meantime, Charlie, Zari, and Mona had moved to the kitchen to prepare some snacks with the potato chips Charlie had brought earlier that night.

Sara was sitting on the couch across her and absently tapping her fingers on the wine glass while she talked about something Ava couldn't put a finger on. She was too busy glaring at the woman, picturing herself punching that smug smile off Sara's face. 

“Did you lose something on my face, Sharpe?” Sara tilted her head at Ava, a teasing smile crossing her face.

Ava's eyes widened in surprise and a look of scorn flashed across her face. She decided that moment she absolutely hated her. She hated Sara’s stupid face, the way she expressed herself, always sure of everything, as if every step she took was planned even when it wasn't. The dimples in her smile, the way she looked so comfortable in her home, with her friends as if they were having just another ordinary day.

When for Ava it was absolutely… _ exhausting _ just sitting in there _ . _She hated how Sara screwed everything between them and now she was left with the strange feeling of not belonging there, between her sister's best friends. 

“_ Ummm _...You cannot be serious about going to Vegas,” She said, trying to hide her anger. 

“Oh, come on, _ why not _?” Nate asked while Sara was watching her with curiosity. 

“I’ve already explained before. It’s just too much work and a short time to execute. Could be stressful for Ray and Nora. We should stick to the original plan.” 

“Okay, hmmm, stressful for them or you?” Sara replied. “And, please, there’s no original plan you just said let’s be boring and have a party at Ray’s place.” 

Ava massaged the spot above her nose, starting to feel her muscles becoming very tense. 

“Actually, I said two separate parties. One for Ray and One for Nora.” She explained, trying to look composed. “... why did you say it was stressful for me?’’

“Oh, great, then you don’t need to worry about going to Vegas just stay here and do your 'not stressful party,'" She replied, ignoring Ava’s question and using air quotes in the end just to annoy Ava even more. 

She decided to be the bigger person there and not let herself be distracted by Sara’s provocations.

"Yeah,_ Oh, you’re so right! _" She smiled but her eyes were hard and scornful. 

Ava felt nothing but relief knowing the woman wouldn’t be at Nora’s party. 

"So,_ Hum _. We, the cool kids, go to Vegas and y'all boring people, go… Umm, actually I don't care." Sara smiled playfully. 

_ Man! _She was really trying to piss Ava off. 

Sara kept her stupid smiled when the other girls went back to the living room with the food and Ava glared at the ceiling avoiding the need to give Sara the answer she deserved. 

_ "Our party will be so much better than theirs," _ She heard Sara muttering and automatically clenched her fists. 

Sara’s smile was halfway between sly and smug as she glanced back at the people there. 

“What would be much better?” Mona asked, sitting on the rug near Ava.

“_ Nothing! _” Ava replied quickly.

“Our bachelor party for Ray that you are absolutely invited to,” Sara smirked, leaning over to grab some chips from the big bowl Charlie had placed in the center of the coffee table.

“She can not go to Ray’s party, idiot, she’s one of Nora’s bridesmaids,” Ava replied, her tone of voice was sardonic. 

“Don’t talk about her in the third person, Mona is right next to you.” 

“Actually…” Mona started.

“I know that. _ Why don’t- Oh _,” Ava laughed, her eyes widening and her chin clenching as she glared at Sara. “I see what you’re trying to do, Miss Lance.” 

“Oh, really?” 

Ava nodded and smiled, pressing her lips tight together, “and it’s not gonna work.” 

“Are you sure? Because it seems quite the opposite.”

The rest of the group stopped what they were doing to watch Ava and Sara arguing. She tried so hard not to let herself be caught in Sara’s trap but it was impossible, the woman was doing everything she could to drive Ava crazy. It was unfair. 

“Oh, yeah? Why don’t you go-” 

“Hey, Ava,” Zari spoke up, not letting Ava finish. “I received a text from Behrad and he’s coming. Why don’t you help me prepare some nachos? I think these chips won’t be enough.”

She drew a sharp breath and tilted to look at the other side of the living room, where they were watching her and Sara. 

“Okay, yeah.” 

She got up from the floor and followed Zari, not daring herself to look at Sara again. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> Hope y'all are doing well these days. 
> 
> I'm sorry, in the last chapter I had said that I would be updating soon but last week I wasn't feeling very well and lost the inspiration for a moment =\
> 
> I really hope you have fun reading this chapter and I honestly can not wait to show to you guys what's coming for this story. Please, let me know if there's any moment that you guys want to see. 
> 
> In the next chapter, we may have a kinda funny dinner with the Sharpe's ;) 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and for all of you kudos, comments and bookmarks. It has been a pleasure to write this story 💓💓


	9. You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Back that day, Sara knew Ava was only trying to hurt her and even many years after that she still felt the same bitter taste in her mouth whenever she thought about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Hope this chapter will bring a good moment for y'all. Sorry for taking so long to publish. 
> 
> Thanks to my amazing girlfriend, Gabriella, who always help me with the edition. 
> 
> The title of this chapter is a lyric of The 1, from Taylor Swift's album folklore. And I've been listening to this song a lot while writing heheh
> 
> Have fun!

_ December 2006. _

_ She was standing behind the service counter with her head down and her eyes fixed on the anatomy book. She was taking advantage of the low flow of people in the cafeteria to study for an exam she would take after the holidays. So yeah working on her birthday, which also happens to be Christmas day, wasn't the best thing in the world, and having to use every single free minute to study didn't help anything to improve her mood. However it was better than being at home with her family, so she still considered it a win situation. _

_ "Hey," she heard someone saying in the back of her mind. "I'm sorry are you there?" _

_ Sara startled, giving a little jump on where she was standing and jerking her head back to see who was calling her. _

_ It was a customer. _

_ "Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I have this test next week and was trying to catch up with the subject.” The girl opened her mouth to speak but Sara continued, "Umm, My name is Sara, what can I do for you today?" _

_ The girl looked at her with curiosity but the smile she showed had tranquilized Sara. The last thing she needed was someone complaining about her to the manager. _

_ "It's okay," The girl waved a hand towards her, giving a reassuring smile. "I'm a student too, I know how it is." _

_ The girl turned her head to look at the door and started to tap her fingers on the counter. _

_ "Cool," Sara looked over at her, scanning the girl’s face. She didn't seem to be from Star City, she was dressing like she just arrived there. "So, umm… what's your order?" _

_ "Right!! It will be two coffees,” She chuckled, a little embarrassed, and pointed a thumb over her shoulder. “my girlfriend is outside on the phone." _

_ Sara nodded and smiled, "Is that for here or to go?" _

_ “To go,” The girl said absently. _

_ “... and your name is?” _

_ “Oh, I’m sorry, It’s Julia. I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous.” _

_ “I noticed,” Sara smiled, registering the girl's order. “Sorry, but you don’t look like one of our regular customers. You’re not from here, right?” _

_ Sara wasn’t used to making small talk, but she wanted to be polite with the nervous girl. _

_ “Yeah, I’m from New York, actually.”Julia smiled, watching Sara change to where the espresso machines were, she moved to follow her. The girl was rambling, “This is the first time I'm gonna meet my girlfriend's family. Well, her father and sister, precisely.” _

_ Sara thought the tenseness the girl was showing was, somehow, cute. She remembered the last time she felt that nervous and happy at the same time and it was… a long time ago. _

_ From the corner of her eyes, she noticed the girl was still tapping her fingers on the pick-up counter. _

_ “Meeting the girlfriend’s parents is never easy, but I’m sure it will be okay.” She said, slightly tilting her head. _

_ "Yeah, I hope so…” She noticed an uncertain tone in the girl's voice. “I don't know, we have been dating for almost a year and, I don’t know, she's always super protective towards her family. I just hope they’ll like me." _

_ Sara smiled to herself, why do people always have this concern about what the family will think? _

_ “Well,” She turned for a moment to look at the girl and then returned to what she was doing. “She’s the one who has to really like you and if she does, what’s the matter about the family right?” _

_ The girl smiled genuinely. Sara returned to her work, finishing the orders. She heard the doorbell and assumed it would be the girlfriend. It was early for the peak hours of the cafe. _

_ “I’m so sorry, Nora was being the classic selfish she always is.” _

_ That voice. The husky tone. Sara felt a shiver run the length of her spine and a knot of nerves in the pit of her stomach. _

_ She felt like she was about to throw up. _

_ Ava was the girlfriend. Of course, she was. The universe always liked to mess with her. Sara cursed herself and thought about her choices. She could run to the kitchen and ask someone to replace her or she could just turn around and face the person she never stopped thinking about. _

_ Deciding to take the high road and be polite she turned around, her gaze down to the two drinks. It was just a customer, soon they will leave and she will return to her life as if nothing had happened. _

_ “Here’s your order, Julia,” She spoke, still looking down while pushing the drinks closer towards the girl. Ignoring the bile on her belly, she lifted her head finally meeting Ava’s conflicted eyes. _

_ “Sara?” Ava’s mouth fell open, eyes flickering to examine Sara's face and a doubting tone as if she wasn't sure if that was really Sara. _

_ It was rough to see Ava so suddenly and with a new girlfriend on her side. She had been preparing herself for that moment since Ava left and even when she got used to not having her in her life anymore, Sara always thought that there would be the moment they would be together again. _

_ “Ava?? Hey,” She greeted, smiling, trying to look normal and slightly surprised by Ava's sudden appearance. “You are the girlfriend!?” Sara nodded her hand towards Ava. “What a coincidence, huh?” _

_ Sara held on a breath while hearing Ava’s voice directed at her, “Yeah.” _

_ “It’s good to see you,” She completed, nodding her head and scratching the back of her neck. _

_ “It’s good to see you too, Sara,” Ava smiled, nodding as well, but deep in her tone, she noticed something bitter in the way Ava said her name. _

_ It made her remember the last time they talked with each other. The last time she heard Ava saying her name. _

_ “I will never forgive you for this, Sara.” _

_ Her breath caught in her throat, her mind driving away to another time. _

_ Julia cleared her throat, catching Sara’s attention back to the present. _

_ “Do you know each other?” She gestured from Ava to Sara. _

_ Sara opened her mouth to answer but got interrupted by Ava, who apparently also woke up from the shock. _

_ “Yeah, babe,” Ava said, waving a hand towards Sara. “We went to the same school. Sara is one of Nora’s boyfriend's best friends, right?” _

_ "Yes, we, Ummm..." Sara scratched the back of her neck. Feeling the tears burning the back of her eyeballs. So yes, if Ava is going to use the "school friend" card, her lips would be sealed. Sara smiled cordially at them but kept her eyes on Ava, "We used to be friends." _

_ “Yeah,” Ava muttered. Her shocked expression shifted to what could be… hurt. But Sara wouldn’t dare to guess. It was a long time ago she tried to read Ava, that job now belonged to Julia. _

_ She quickly turned to stare at a different point, asking the universe to not let her break in front of them. _

_ "This is amazing! What would be the odds?" _

_ “I know, right?” Sara simpered and headed to the cash register. _

_ “You guys don't wanna talk? Catch up on what’s happening in your lives right now?” _

_ “GOD NO!” Sara thought. _

_ Ava opened her mouth, looking from her girlfriend to Sara and, as her cheeks became red, Sara noticed she was starting to feel uncomfortable. _

_ Which increased her need to put an end to this hell. She had to keep that short and sweet, and not opening any opportunities for the conversation become too personal. _

_ “I can’t, I'm sorry. I have to keep studying and soon this place will be full of people.” She smiled affectedly. _

_ “But I'm happy to see you, and to see that you are fine,” She completed, in a more neutral tone. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Julia. You guys look so cute,” then she pressed her lips in a friendly smile she always gave to the consumers. “You look good, Ava." _

_ "You look good too…" Ava replied, with a distant and cold expression that might have denounced the meaning of their past friendship. _

_ Sara knew she wasn't that good at faking her emotions and Julia might have noticed that as well because she looked suspiciously from Ava to her. _

_ Well, that's not her problem. It's Ava's. If she wanted to lie to her new girlfriend or however she didn't care. _

_ "So, Umm, it’s $10,45, guys. Anything else I could do for you?” Sara didn't understand why she was being that nice to them but she thought that if she didn't act just like this the other option would be exposing what she was really feeling. _

_ “Um, no. That’s all. Thanks, Sara,” Ava replied, a deep frown on her forehead. _

_ Julia got distracted again taking the money from her wallet and Sara took the opportunity to keep looking at Ava. _

_ “Here. It was nice to meet you, Sara,” She smiled, handing Sara the money. “I hope you do well in your text.” _

_ “Thanks, Julia. That’s sweet,” She took it and forced a smile again. Hopefully the last one she had to give. “Good luck with the family.” _

_ “Merry Christmas, Sara!” The girl said, turning to leave, resting a hand on Ava's hip. _

_ Ava cast her a glance over the shoulder, "Merry Christmas..." _

_ She nodded watching them leaving, finally being able to release the breath that was caught in her throat. _

_ Ava left. _

_ She wondered about how the family dinner at the Sharpes would be. She could ask Ray, he would be there too, with Nora. _

_ But she didn’t really want to know, Sara thought, finally allowing the tears to fall. _

_ Sara remembered the first time she had dinner with Ava's family. Back that day never crossed her mind that her feelings for Ava could be strong. That wasn’t supposed to happen, she wasn’t supposed to fall in love. _

_ In her mind, she was so sure about how they didn't match and the fact they were completely different people, that when it happened she didn't know how to deal with herself or how to confess her feelings. _

_ She held on so hard to not open up to Ava about what was happening and confessed that she was just trying to help Ray but her feelings had quickly changed. _

_ That what she was feeling for Ava was real. _

_ She was just too scared of her own feelings, the consequences of being in love and then... She missed her chance and lost Ava. _

_ The one whose sudden presence left her with a nostalgic pain that she thought she had already overcome. _

* * *

Everything was different now. She changed, became more mature. Her years in college, the experience she acquired working late night in the emergency room had changed her forever. Yeah, she was older now, wiser. But Ava’s presence, the sardonic expression she was using to look at Sara, was bringing back things she hadn't felt in so long and, apparently, she wasn’t so good at compartmentalizing her emotions as she thought she was. 

Forcing herself to stop thinking about the possibility of a future where Ava would be around was one of the most difficult things she did. But now the woman was everywhere, she probably was going to be a member of their group, with her judgemental silence following Sara, looking at her with the same painful expression she used so many years ago. The day they met at Sara’s work, a girlfriend holding her hand only a year after they had broken up. 

Well, it wasn't exactly a breakup, Ava had made that very clear when she found out about the whole thing involving Ray and Nora. They didn't exactly date so there wouldn't be a breakup.

Back that day, Sara knew Ava was only trying to hurt her and even many years after that she still felt the same bitter taste in her mouth whenever she thought about it.

Sara never shared those memories with anyone and she didn’t know why she was thinking about that now. That day when her shift finally ended and she was free from her professional self, she wanted to forget who she was and to put an end to her delusions that things could work out someday.

The day she decided to bury her feelings was also the day she had one of the worst hangovers ever. She snorted, disapproving, her eyes fixed on the forgotten wine in her glass.

"What the hell is going on with you?” Nate's voice echoed inside her head and she tilted to look at him. 

"What?" 

"Things got pretty intense between you two," Mona explained in a lower tone, nodding to the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." 

"Oh, come on, you were being a bitch and Ava was about to commit a murder."

"I want to see her trying," Sara scorned. 

She rolled her eyes at their worried expressions and huffed. “It's just annoying the way she acts like she knows what’s better for Nora and Ray, she’s only been here for, I don’t know, a week? and making decisions without even getting a shot to see the other side." 

Sara crossed her arms against her chest and broke eye contact with them, focusing on a spot above Nate’s head. 

“It was not that bad??” Nate shrugged. “Everybody was suggesting things, Sara, are you sure you’re okay with Ava’s presence at this wedding?” 

She opened her mouth to speak but Nate continued, “Because you remember you promise that to Ray.”

“I'm fine,” She muttered. “The fact that she annoys me has nothing to do with what happened between us. I know how to separate things.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I don’t have to prove anything,” Sara replied, defensive. 

“Look, Sara, we care about you,” Mona muttered. “Maybe it would be better if you try to heal your relationship with Ava.” 

Sara scoffed, “I’m not doing that.” She put her hands in a surrender sign. “Look, I’ll behave okay?”

From the kitchen, Ava’s eyes were fixed on Sara’s back. She was trying to understand the whispering conversation the woman was having with Nate and Mona which showed to be impossible because of the music playing and she still had to listen to Charlie talking nonstop about the weird dream she had evolving David Bowie. Fortunately, Zari was also there so she didn't have to pretend she was interested. But she didn't want to sound rude so she nodded from time to time to the conversation. 

“She used to be more enjoyable than this, you know,” Charlie said, stopping on Ava’s side behind the kitchen counter and following her gaze to Sara’s back. 

“What?”

“Sara,” Charlie explained. “She’s not as bad as she tries to look. When you get to know her, you see how much she cares about her friends and people in general. She’s also a great doctor.” 

“I already know her, Charlie,” Ava turned and walked to avoid Charlie’s questioning look. She stopped almost close to the fridge and studied the pictures attached there. 

There was one with Ray, Nate, Zari, and Sara. They were sitting on a couch, the furniture that showed on the corners seemed to be from Zari's apartment. She moved her gaze from another picture, this time it was Mona and Sara leaning against a car, they were wearing a t-shirt with the same design. Probably from some group trip? 

“There was this time we decided to make a road trip to Disney together,” Zari explained when she noticed what Ava was looking at. “It was fun…” 

She smiled, trying to soothe the discomfort Zari was suddenly showing. “That’s really cool, guys.” 

“Zari said you’re gonna work at the University with her and Nate,” Charlie said, in an attempt to start a conversation. 

“Yeah, Umm, I’m gonna be a substitute teacher for a couple of months while waiting for Professor Bennett to retire, and then I will take over the anthropology classes, which is my academic formation.”

“Anthropology, huh, that’s really cool. Oh, we could call you Bones,” Charlie teased, giving her a crooked smile. “Like the tv show.” 

“It’s okay, Ava, we are not doing that,” Zari assured, noticing Ava's widened eyes. She placed a platter with nachos inside the oven to melt the cheese. 

Ava smiled and tried to allow the stress that had been building since she arrived at Sara’s apartment to leave. 

“I’m really excited to start, actually,” Ava pointed, wanting to keep the conversation going. “I was starting to get bored with this forced vacation.” 

“Why forced?” 

That was personal and Ava didn't evaluate well how much she would share. She didn’t talk about that with anyone, even Nora didn’t know the details about why she left Amsterdam. Drinking another sip of her whine, Ava took a look at the living room to be sure no one was paying attention to what they were talking about. 

“I was working on a project, finishing my postdoc, and,” She took a minute to decide what to share and continued, “... having a serious relationship with one of my colleagues,” Ava explained, looking away from them and focusing on the pictures in the fridge. “My program finished and I felt kinda lost… with the things… Umm, that I wanted…” she rambled.

The oven started to _beep _and she stopped talking to look at it. Zari took off the platter and let it rest over the stove. “And?” she turned to Ava again, waiting for her to continue.

“Oh, there’s nothing much, there was this opportunity to continue in the program if I wanted but I didn’t and at the same time I was in touch with some friends here and was offered a position in the American Museum of Natural History…” 

“Wow,” Charlie cut her off, surprised. “That’s awesome.”

“Yeah,” Ava smiled sheepishly. “So I packed my bags and…” 

“Wait, what about the girl?” 

“Ummm, we broke up? I mean, she wanted more,” Ava rushed her hand on the back of her neck, giving a nostalgic smile as she looked away. “ and I didn't.” 

“Ugh, that’s harsh,” Charlie replied, seeming to be very into the story Ava was telling. 

She smiled at the other woman and took a few steps to where Zari placed the nachos, over the stove. “It was okay, Charlie.” She took a moment to eat. “It was for the best. She’s happy now, more than I could make her.” 

“That’s actually really wise,” Charlie said, almost as if she was saying to herself. 

Ava kept her smile and continued to talk about the time she worked at the museum. They remained there for a while, Zari talked about how it has been like to share the apartment with Behrad, they laughed when she told it was like they were back in childhood again. 

"Speaking of the devil," Zari said, pointing at the entryway where a tall man was giving Sara a bear hug. She took the platter with the nachos and nodded to the living room, “let’s go.”

Ava wanted to avoid that moment where everybody started to greet one another, she always felt kinda awkward and her presence in Sara's home was already weird enough so she excused saying she was going to answer some texts before. 

She started rolling through the phone apps, pretending she was doing something which made her feel like a teenager again. Although, she was way more confident back at her 17 than she was now. 

She was so focused on her thoughts she didn’t notice Sara entering the kitchen.

“Sorry,” Sara apologized, her hands high and open palms and Ava gasped in surprise. "Just gonna catch a beer." 

Ava rolled her eyes, “It’s your kitchen, Sara. Don’t need to explain anything.” 

She leaned against the counter, placing her phone on it. She looked around while Sara opened the fridge then returned her gaze at the pictures there when Sara walked towards the countertop to pop the cap off her beer. 

She tried not to think how hot Sara’s moves were and, once again, looked back at the pictures, this time focusing on one where Sara was holding a kid. Their smiles were very similar. 

“It’s my niece, Sophie,” Sara explained, leaning on the counter aside of the fridge and facing Ava. Ava furrowed her brows together and Sara continued, “The picture you were looking… it’s Laurel’s daughter, my niece.” 

“Oh, right,” Ava looked at the picture again and then to Sara, “She’s adorable.” 

Sara shrugged, drinking her beer. “It’s genetic.” 

“Oh, you’re right…” Sara smiled at her answer. “ I remember how beautiful Laurel is.” 

Sara let out a playful snort and rolled her eyes when she saw Ava smiling. “I’m sure this is not what you were thinking.”

She looked into her eyes and took another sip of the beer. _ Wait… Sara was flirting with her??? _She swallowed, hard, and smiled looking to the other side. 

“You can not be sure of what I’m thinking, Lance.”

“I don’t know, Sharpe, I’m pretty good at reading people.”

"Yeah, but not when it comes to me."

Ava needed to find a way to change that conversation quickly. It was becoming too close to subjects they didn’t talk about. 

“Yeah,” Sara replied, looking absorbed in something Ava couldn’t put a finger on. “Not when it comes to you…” 

Ava dropped her head and crossed her arms over her chest. The discomfort was touchable but yet she couldn’t give a step to leave the kitchen and Sara’s magnetic presence.

“Look, Ava, I'm sorry…” Sara started. 

"Please, don't...” She lifted her hand, trying to interrupt her.

“No… Come on, let me finish." Sara held both hands up in front of her. "I’m sorry for before…” Ava furrowed her brows, listening to the woman in front of her. “I really pushed your buttons about the bachelor party…” 

_ Oh. _

Ava let it go of the breath she was holding, for a moment it felt like what Sara was saying carried more weight than she intended when she started to apologize. 

Ava nodded still with her arms over her chest. 

“Your idea was good… I was just looking for someone to be my scapegoat and it wasn't fair with you. I'm sorry.”

Sara looked sincere and her expression made Ava remember the last time she tried to apologize to her. She shook the memory away and turned her head to look at another spot.

“It’s okay, Sara…” She replied. “I was rude too. This is not entirely your fault.”

_ Again, another ambiguous line. _

"Umm, okay." 

"Are you sure about Vegas?"

"No, not exactly," Sara laughed and changed to stand on Ava's side. "I think I was just trying to drive you crazy." 

"Really?? No way," Ava sneered.

"Like I said not my best moves." 

"You said as if you have any good moves to show, huh," Ava spoke, more to herself than to the woman beside her. 

"Well, stay tuned and you'll see, Sharpe." 

Ava had forgotten how it was easy for them to talk and tease each other but also how easy the conversation became too personal and weird.

Before the silence became too weird, Behrad called Sara from the balcony door and nodded for her to follow him, Nate and Charlie.

"Excuse me," She said, squeezing the other woman's arm and then leaving her alone in the kitchen. 

* * *

_ Sara stayed inside her car, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel at the same pace the music was playing. She decided that there was nothing wrong with having dinner with Ava’s family. They’re friends, well, kind of, friends… Friends who had kissed before. But, yet, friends and friends do this kind of thing all the time, right? _

_ She used to have dinner at Ray’s house, back then when things got pretty shitty at her house, and Ray’s mom loved having her there. _

_ But she never had made out with Ray. _

_ Well, it didn’t matter anyway. She knew how to act in these places, how to be a good guest. She even bought a gift, she was respectful of the schedule and knew how to mingle in conversations. _

_ Nothing would go wrong. _

_ However, she never had dinner with the parents of someone she was seeing or someone she was interested in. _

_ Not that she was any of these things with Ava. They are friends. Colleagues. _

_ She was just trying to help Ray. Sara repeated this to herself over and over again trying to believe that this statement was the only thing driving her actions towards Ava. _

_ She stopped in front of the door for a moment to fix her hair again and check her breath. Satisfied with the result, she exhaled deeply and pressed the bell. _

_ *** _

_ “A succulent?” Randy Sharpe smiled from the other side of the doorframe and opened a space for Sara to walk in. “This is very kind, Miss Lance. Thank you.” _

_ “Umm, actually, thank you, Sir. For inviting me,” Sara smiled, her eyes scanning around as they walked through the hallway. _

_ They walked towards the living room and Sara tilted her head, trying to find any sign of Ava. _

_ “She’s finishing dressing,” Randy explained, nodding to the stairs when he noticed she was searching for something. “I’m gonna head back to the kitchen and finish our meals.” _

_ “Oh, right, Sir. Do you need any help?” Sara asked. _

_ “Oh, don’t worry, kiddo, everything is already done. It’s okay.” _

_ As she finally got alone, Sara felt a shiver run down her spine. She let out a deep breath and considered walking towards the door on her tiptoes, leaving Ava's house and pretending that never happened. _

_ But she couldn’t do that, Ray was counting on her to help him with Nora and, of course, there was this weird connection with Ava mixed with the curiosity to be close to her and knowing her better. _

_ Ughh, she felt so ridiculous. _

_ Walking around the living room and stopping in front of the sideboard behind the sofa, where some pictures were placed on it and Sara approached to see better. _

_ There was one of Mr. Sharpe with two girls in a park, Sara quickly identified Ava as the super tall kid on his right side, She took the photograph in her hands and smiled. _

_ Putting it aside, she turned to take another one, in this one Ava was older, her hair was tied on a bun and she was wearing sunglasses and a rainbow flag covered her body. She ran the fingers of her left hand on the picture. _

_ “Pride of 2002, a couple of months after I came out to my father,” A voice explained. _

_ “Jesus, Ava,” Sara gasped, turning to see the girl behind her. _

_ She gave her a once-over, stopping her gaze on the other girl's interrogative eyes. Sara wondered how a person could look that good using jeans and a button-up white shirt. _

_ "You look good," Sara smirked. _

_ "Thanks, you aren't that bad," Ava smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. " So, how embarrassed my dad already made you feel?" _

_ "On a scale of 1 to 10?" Sara gave a thoughtful expression. "I'd say 2?". _

_ "So you aren't easily intimidated, got it," Ava smiled, approaching her. _

_ "I guess you should have known that by now," Sara smirked, drawing her arms around Ava's waist and pulling her closer. _

_ "You're very brave for being this close to me with my dad in the next room," Ava lifted her hands to hold Sara's shoulders. _

_ "Brave enough to kiss you in the middle of your living room?" Sara said. The heat from Ava's breathing made her feel dazed. _

_ She felt a brush of Ava's lip's against her mouth and her breath fanning across her face, Sara raised her eyes to Ava's, and she saw a provocation there as if she was waiting for Sara to make a move. She was about to leave a peck on Ava’s mouth when someone entered the living room and Ava jumped away from her arms. _

_ "Sara, hey," Nora held a hand to her and directed a provocative smile towards Ava. "I'm so glad to finally meet you." _

_ "It has been a long time since my sister brought someone here." She continued. _

_ Ava rolled her eyes and took Sara's wrist to lead her to the couch. _

_ "So, what's going on between you two?" Nora insisted, following them and sitting on the other couch. _

_ "Umm, well," Sara started, confused. She didn't exactly know what was going on between them. All she had was these confused feelings about Ava and the wanting to be near her. _

_ "It's okay, Sara," Ava placed a hand on her leg, apparently noticing her discomfort. "Not that this is your business, but we are friends." _

_ So, Ava chose the answer and she decided to go with it. _

_ "Yeah, umm, this is one of the most asexuals relationships I’ve ever had," Sara snorted a laugh which was cut when she noticed Nora arching a brow towards her. _

_ WHY SHE SAID THAT??? _

_ Sara felt Ava’s eyes widened in her direction and smiled at her. _

_ Nora looked as she didn't buy their answers but didn't push anymore. Choosing to shoot Sara a daring look, as if she knew something that Sara didn't. _

_ *** _

_ During dinner, Nora continued to give her suspicious looks. At that point, she was absolutely sure Ray had told the girl about their plan and now she was only waiting for the moment Nora would drop a suggestive line that would expose her. _

_ Ava probably noticed how hard she was shaking her leg under the table because the next thing she felt was a hand resting firmly on her leg. She tilted her head to face Ava arching a brow at her. _

_ Sara responded to her with a side-smile and tried to focus on her food, avoiding Nora's thoughtful expression across the table. _

_ “So, Sara,” Mr. Sharpe said. “How’s the end of the senior year going for you?” _

_ “Umm,” She swallowed. _

_ “Dad, come on,” Ava intervened. _

_ “It’s okay, Aves,” Sara assured, smiling. “It’s going alright, I guess, I’m still trying to figure out what I’m gonna do next.” _

_ “There's an area you are looking forward to?” He continued. _

_ “For God’s sake, Dad.” _

_ “Yeah, Dad,” Nora interfered with a playful tone. “It's not because Ava is a freak when it comes to planning her future that the other teenagers at our school are the same." _

_ “Nora, there’s no need for this, honey,” Randy said. _

_ “How innocent I was to think that you would get through this dinner without being a bitch.” _

_ “Ava!” _

_ “You don’t know me very well then,” Nora snorted. _

_ Sara watched their interaction with curiosity, Ray had mentioned before that their relationship wasn’t that good and she remembered how Ava lost control at Nate’s party, after seeing Nora.” _

_ “I’m sorry, Sara, my daughters seemed to forget how to behave.” _

_ “Oh, it’s okay, Sir. I have a sister and we were constantly at each other’s throat,” Sara smiled. “and, Ummm, and to answer your question… I’m not exactly sure about which area I would fit better but, I don’t know, I like to help people so something in this way, maybe.” _

_ “This is a good start, Sara,” He smiled, drinking a sip of his wine. “and you would probably be good at it considering you helped my daughter with her drinking problem the other day.” _

_ They all laughed. _

_ Ava rolled her eyes, huffing, “I don’t have a drinking problem, Dad, stop repeating that.” _

_ Sara had thought that wouldn't be possible to find the girl beside her cuter than she already did, but apparently, she was wrong. _

_ Drunk Ava was cute, yeah, but the insecure Ava with her usual touch of annoyance was just too adorable. _

_ Not that she would assume this loud. The idea of thinking that Ava was adorable already scared her enough. _

_ "It's not a drinking problem, it's more like a personality problem," Nora scoffed. _

_ "You are the only one in this family with a personality problem," Ava replied. "More like a deviation or something." _

_ Sara let it out a laugh but tried to disguise it with a cough. They look at her curiously. _

_ "Sorry, sorry," She said. "It reminds me of my sister." She nodded to Nora. " Like I said we used to have those little fights all the time." _

_ Although, her relationship with Laurel was way better than Ava and Nora’s. _

_ “Well, between us it isn’t just little fights.” _

_ “Shut up, Nora,” Ava leaned back, clenching her hands over the table. _

_ “Okay, stop you two,” Ava’s father replied and Sara felt slightly awkward to be there. “So, do you have a sister, Sara?” _

_ “Yes, Sir. But she didn’t leave here anymore. She’s in law school at Stanford.” _

_ “Stanford?” Sara nodded at him. “Your parents must be proud of her.” _

_ “Yeah, they definitely are, Sir,” Sara tried to avoid her annoyance in her answer but Ava might have noticed because when she turned to look at the girl she was lifting a brow at Sara. _

_ He made more questions to Sara, about her interests and tried to dig a little more about the nature of her relationship with Ava. They talked about how Ava and she started to talk and what a coincidence it was that even studying in the same school and having classes together, they only started talking after becoming partners at the chemistry lab. _

_ She and Ava made a silent agreement of not giving too many details about what was going on between them. _

_ "So, you two have been in the same school and never crossed each other's path?" Nora asked. _

_ They exchanged a quick look and Sara watched Ava roll her eyes at her sister. _

_ "Crazy, huh?" Sara answered, smiling at Nora. The girl looked at her with a skeptical smile showing that she might know more than Ava and Sara were saying. _

_ "Are you also evolved with the protests Ava made at school?" _

_ "Oh, no, dad," Nora replied before Sara could say anything. "Sara's popular. Ava is just a crazy idiotic. They're from different worlds." _

_ “I’m definitely not popular, Nora.” _

_ "Why wouldn't you mind your own business, stupid?" Ava glowered. _

_ "So, Hmmm, Sir, Ava told me you're a doctor," She took Ava’s hand over the table again and tilted her head to look at Ava's dad, trying to change the subject. "How is it to work at Star City Hospital?" _

_ She gave Ava a side look and smiled once she noticed Ava's smile. _

_ "It's chaotic but also amazing," he smiled with pride. "Thank you for asking, the girls usually don't show interest in my professional life." _

_ "It's because you talk about that all the time, dad," Ava said. _

_ Nora laughed, "First time you are right about something." _

_ "Oh, pardon me," Randy said. "For trying to inspire my daughters to follow the same profession as me." _

_ "Oh my God, Dad!" Ava replied with a fake expression of shock. "This was what you were trying to do all this time?" _

_ Sara smiled at the girl's interaction and Randy's annoyed breath. He kept talking about his routine at the hospital and she surprisingly saw herself having fun. Since her parents got a divorce the meals at her home have been quiet, with her and her father only sharing a couple of words. _

  
  


_ Later that night, Sara was helping Mr. Sharpe take the dirty dishes to the kitchen while Ava excused herself to use the bathroom and Nora went to her room. _

_ She was kinda nervous, but the dinner went well despite the bickering between Ava and Nora. _

_ "I'm sorry for the girl's behavior, Sara," he said, placing the plates on the dishwasher. "They used to be closer. But Ava started to be too involved with politics and this, I don't know how, but affected Nora's attempts to be popular and now they fight all the time." _

_ The last part he said frowning. Sara was surprised by the sudden honesty of the conversation and didn't know what to say. _

_ "It's alright, Sir," she replied. "As I had said before, I have a sister and believe me, things will be better between them eventually." _

_ "That's… very comforting, thank you." He said, looking relieved. "I admire how Ava is passionate about her causes, but sometimes I'm afraid that this could hurt her, somehow. Or could put her in trouble any time she throws one of her temper tantrums." _

_ Again… Very personal. _

_ "Hmmm, I understand you're worried, Sir… But for what it's worth, I don't think she had thrown temper tantrums," Sara took a moment, crossing her arms. "She's just… standing up for what she believes in and not giving a damn for what people will think about her. I think she’s remarkable, actually." _

_ Sara frowned as if she just understood something she didn't know a minute before. _

_ He nodded, smiling. “Well, I’m happy for Ava to have such a good friend like you, Sara.” _

_ "Hey," Ava appeared at her side, placing a hand on her shoulder. "What are you guys talking about?" _

_ "Oh, Sara here was telling me a couple of cases her father worked on, darling." _

_ Ava nodded her head, not buying it, but decided not to push. _

_ "Want to go upstairs before you leave?" She asked Sara who widened her eyes at the question. "I want to show you some of my books… Since you are so interested in politics." _

_ Sara just nodded, not trusting her voice to verbalize anything. _

* * *

At nearly 11 pm Ray opened the door and enthusiastically walked towards the living room with Nora next to him. Ava, Mona and Zari were talking about Ava's new job. Ava was in her fourth glass of wine and starting to feel slightly tipsy. The rest of the group was still outside, in the balcony. Ava could hear the noise of them excitedly talking. 

"Hey folks, how y'all doing?" Ray shouted, a smile bigger than usual. 

"Come on, you know you two are not supposed to be here," Mona said. 

“Don’t worry, that’s exactly what we came here to talk about,” Nora answered, sitting on the couch beside Mona and giving her a side hug. 

Ray headed to the balcony to call the ones who were there. A moment after, Nate, Charlie, Behrad and Sara entered the living room and joined them around the coffee table.

She took an opportunity to look at Sara. Her hair was wavy, flowing over her shoulders now and she changed the grimace she used most of the night to an easy relaxed smile.

She felt the couch shift as Sara sat next to her, resting her legs on the coffee table.

The woman seemed to be relaxed, the scent emanating from her hair denounced what they were doing outside. Not that she didn't already know, considering Behrad's gesture when he called Sara half an hour ago. 

“What were we talking about?” Sara said, looking slightly spacey. 

“Umm, the bachelor party,” Ava answered, turning to look at her. “Ray wants to tell us something, I’m not sure.” 

"Oh, cool," Sara furrowed her brows at him in what would probably be an attempt to look attentive at what he was saying.

Ava saw herself thinking that Sara’s gaze was actually adorable and giggled to her, which she tried to hide with a cough. 

"Are you okay?" Sara leaned over to pat her on the back and Ava’s body became tense feeling Sara invade her personal space. Ava can't help but melt a little when she sees the freckles on Sara's face so close to her.

She couldn't trust herself to look back at Sara's eyes and leaned to the other side, putting some distance between them, “I’m fine.” She cleared her throat and turned to face the rest of the group. “Umm, I’m sorry what you guys are saying?”

"What?" Sara glanced over from Ava to the living room as if she had just realized they weren’t alone in the room. "Are you guys talking about something?"

"Yeah," Nora replied, impatiently. "Ray was trying to say something before you interrupted.” 

Ava felt her cheeks growing hot and took a breath, bringing more distance between her and Sara. 

"Oh," Sara straightened the way she was sitting, placing her hands on her tights. "Sorry, Ray."

"So, as I was saying before…" He looked again at Sara and she rolled her eyes this time, "I have already decided what we're going to do for our bachelor parties."

Ray giggled and looked expectantly waiting for them to show enthusiasm and returning to look at Nora when the rest of the group remained silent, she gave him an assured smile and a thumbs up. 

"So what's the big idea you have, dude?" 

"I GOT TICKETS FOR THE MAROON 5 SHOW!!" Ray revealed, even more excited than his usual self. 

"yOU GOT TICKETS FOR MAROON 5?" Nate jumped onto Ray, hugging him. "HOW?? IT DOESN’T MATTER THIS IS AWESOME!"

Ava frowned and noticed that, except for Behrad, the rest of the group were exchanging looks. Sara was looking at the two friends hugging while Mona, Zari and Nora seemed to be having a telepathic conversation. 

"We need to celebrate this!" Nate said, letting go of Ray's hug. "I'm gonna head to our apartment and take the champagne bottle that I was keeping for the bachelor party." 

"That's not necessary, bro," Ray gave him an embarrassed smile and Ava was definitely sure that something was going on.

"Yeah, I'm missing something here am I?" Ava asked, looking at Nate and Ray's celebrating.

"Maroon 5 is one of Nate's favorite bands," Sara explained with a lower tone, suddenly looking awake. 

"It’s also one of Ray’s favorite bands, Sara," Nora replied defensively, tilting her head to meet Ray’s eyes and give him an encouraging smile. 

Ava looked at her sister and frowned. Not that she should be surprised, she knew quite well the authoritative tone that Nora used at times. But the celebration environment didn't exactly match the reaction her sister was having.

The rest of the group didn't seem to care that much. Zari had got up from where she was sitting to talk to Charlie and Behrad, Mona got up to fetch the glasses and help Nate with the champagne, and Sara, _ well_, didn't seem to care much about Nora's scolding.

Again, she had no clue about what was going on. 

"Well, that doesn't explain much," Ava said more to herself than to anybody who was around. She ducked her head and drank another sip of wine. 

"Ray is trying to flatter Nate before kicking him out of the apartment, that is what’s going on," Sara replied, leaning closer to Ava’s side.

_ Seriously, what’s wrong with Sara’s definition of personal space? _

“Thank you, Sara,” Ava muttered, bringing some distance between them. She looked from Nora to Ray, "_ You didn't tell Nate? _”

Nora gave them an exasperated look and Ray turned his head to avoid Ava’s disapproval. 

"Wow, really, wow, guys. All these years didn't teach you anything apparently, huh?"

"Ava, please…" Nora trailed off. 

"You know what? I'm not even surprised, since lying is the best thing you jerks can do!" 

Sara huffed, a hint of annoyance finally showing on her face. "That's not a big deal, Ray's just preparing the territory so Nate would be less sad with the news." 

"Oh, of course, you think that, Lance." Ava scoffed, straightened up, changing her position on the couch. The proximity with Sara was making her even more pissed. 

"What?"

"Here's the champagne, my friends!" Nate showed up at the door, walking to the living room. "Wait… something is going on?"

Ava opened her mouth but got interrupted by Nora, "Nothing, Ava's just pissed because I asked her to pick up our aunt Ruth at the airport Wednesday.”

Ava’s mouth fell open and she gasped, _ “What?”_. Nora shot a glare at her with a very clear message of _just go with it! _She had to take a deep and very long breath to calm herself and not say to Nora what she was really thinking. 

“Yeah,” She confirmed. “I’m only surprised because it's the first time I’m hearing about picking up aunt Ruth.” 

Ava’s surprised expression changed to a sarcastic and dry smile when she looked back at Nora. 

"Why can't dad pick her up anyway?"

“Because he and Ray are going to try-on their suits and see if it would need any adjustments to make. Come on." 

"You know I still haven't renewed my driver's license," Ava insisted. 

The truth was, she wasn't in the mood to talk to her aunt all the way home from the airport. Knowing her family as she did, aunt Ruth probably will ask her a lot of questions she doesn’t want to answer. _ Personal questions_. 

"Well, you could…"

"I drive you there," Sara replied, interrupting what Nora was saying. "No problem."

Ava turned her head with a frown to glance at Sara. The woman was grinning at her and Nora. She opened her mouth to say it was not necessary but Sara noticed and held up a hand to stop her. 

"I insist." 

“That’s not necessary, Sara,” She replied, forcing a smile. 

"That actually would help us a lot," Nora said, reaching out Ava’s hand. “You two won't be alone so I'm sure aunt Ruth wouldn't ask you anything too personal.”

Nora’s right. 

Once again she frowned at the loss of her ability to be opposed to something, watching the group interaction. She was pissed about the whole Nate thing and yet she was still there not doing anything about it and helping them with something she didn’t have to. _ She should tell him, right? _

_ Young Ava _would tell Nate everything and probably make a scene about it. She would never agree to be a part of this lie. _ What happened? _

It doesn't matter, anyway. Time helped her to understand that she didn't need to get into every possible fight. It's just too exhausting. 

She changed her features to a neutral expression, trying to hide her annoyance. Lying to Nate about the apartment it's their problem and if they suck as friends this only proves she was right about them all this time. 

"You should give me your number," She handed her phone to Sara who looked at her oblivious, "So I could text you to set up the time to pick up my aunt?”

"Oh right," Sara took the phone and started typing her number, “Here… you… go.”

She handed it back to Ava, a smirk flickered at the edge of her mouth. 

“Thank you, Sara.” 

She will wait for the wedding. 

She will help her sister with anything she needs even if spending time with Sara and their group was part of it. After all, she was trying to connect with Nora. 

After that, _ well_, what would be the need of her being a part of these reunions?

She was not a part of the group anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....? 
> 
> Hope you guys liked this chapter and that it was a good distraction from reality. This is one of the reasons I love to write and read. 
> 
> There are some parts of this that I wasn't planning to bring up, but we'll... It just happened hehehe  
I'm still not sure about where this sorry will go but I want to explore more of their relationship and more of Ava letting herself being a part of the group. 
> 
> I love to read what you guys want to see here and what you're thinking, so if there's something y'all want to read just let me know! 
> 
> I'm sorry for the long waiting, my classes came back and I have to change a few things and that affected my time writing. I'm sorry about that, but I want you to know that I'm not leaving this story without an end. It's here one of my happy places and I love these characters so much. 
> 
> Speaking of that, how excited we are with legends starting to films again? I'm literally over the moon heheh
> 
> Anyway, hope y'all are doing good and take good care of yourself, okay? 
> 
> Also, watch the haunting of Bly Manor, it's just a masterpiece and will give you so many emotionss hahaha
> 
> if you want to talk about avalance, lot or idk life heheh you can find me on twitter @dontshootmesara
> 
> Have a nice day and stay safe! 🌻🌻


	10. There she goes again (Racin through my brain)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) 
> 
> How are you guys doing? I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm not exactly happy with it but I wanted so bad to update this fic so here we are.
> 
> I know I took an eternety to publish this and I'm really sorry for that. I hope this chapter makes up for the long wait and i'm gonna talk more about it, in the note at the end. I'm sorry for any mistakes this may have.
> 
> The tittle is from the song "There she goes by Sixpence None The Richer" and I highly recommend that you listen while reading the second part of the chapter, when they are in the present. 
> 
> Thank you, gabs, for always helping me, ILY.
> 
> Have fun :)

_ Ava was laying on her bed reading, it was a cold Saturday afternoon and she really needed some time to just read, in silence, and pretend she didn't exist. Her week had been tough, since the night Sara came to dinner and Nora caught them making out in Ava's room, and now every time every moment of her free time was an opportunity to annoy Ava about the nature of her relationship with Sara and if the two of them would be at prom together, what Ava absolutely refuse what made Nora's eyes drop dead in her direction. Now her sister only looked at her to give judgmental stares and sad sighs. _

_ For that reason, Ava thought it would be a very good idea to lock herself inside her room and only leave when it’s safe. Nora was acting as a completely spoiled child and their father, as always, did the bare minimum to help. She had been also avoiding her friends, they all suddenly became super interested in her love life. She was so so tired. Why people just can not respect her privacy? _

_ In the middle of this mess was Sara Lance. This girl apparently lives rent-free in Ava's mind now. Every day there was a moment where her mind went straight to Sara Lance and she lost herself to it. Wondering what was going on between them, if she should or not try something and ask Sara out on a proper date, if this was a bad idea considering they were about to finish high school and she wanted more than anything to leave that stupid city and never come back. _

_ Timing was a bitch. _

_ She didn't know yet what to do, so she did nothing. It has been easy to avoid Sara, as it looked like the other girl had the same plan. After that night, they only exchanged a few words in the school hallways when they headed for the same class. _

_ So, yeah, she was avoiding Sara and now she didn't know what she should do. _

_ She sighed, again distracted from reading. She was stuck on the same page for a few minutes. _

_ "This is useless." _

_ Putting the book next to her, she turned over to the bedside table, snatching the phone up and deflecting back at her pillow. _

_ She received a text from Gary, asking if Ava wanted to hang out in the Mall. Apparently, he needed a new pair of Converse. _

_ Ava pondered. She was bored at home and too distracted to read. Maybe after choosing the shoes she and Gary would watch a movie and eat. _

_ She texted him back, saying yes and bolted from bed, thinking about which close she would use. _

_ *** _

_ Gary wasn't alone, though. Her smile faded away when she spotted Constantine with his arm over Gary’s shoulder. They were talking animatedly about something as they walked towards where she was sitting. Gary had that goofy smile as if each word that came out from John's mouth was a pure blessing. _

_ Ava shook her head impatiently, for a moment there she thought she’d have a nice evening. _

_ "Hey, Sharpe," John greeted with a sarcastic smile. _

_ "Hey, John," Ava forced a smile and frowned at Gary. "I thought it would only be us." _

_ "Oh, well, John called me and I thought why not?" Gary giggled. _

_ "Of course," Ava clenched her jaw. "Let's go," she waved over the Converse shop in front of them. _

_ Ava had forgotten how undecided Gary was. It took him over an hour to choose the ideal pair of sneakers and she had to put up with John Constantine's chatter for longer than she would have liked. _

_ After finally picking up one, actually, the first one he saw, Ava thought about what was the point of wasting so much time deciding something and ended up choosing the first one he has put his eyes on. _

_ She sighed and rolled her eyes as they made their way to the food court. _

_ Ava watched them meticulously as they talked about a D&D play on Tuesday. Gary and John seemed to have the same interests. Her mind drove away to what would be Sara’s interest, what she liked to do in her free time? Would her interests match Ava’s? They never talked about things like that. _

_ “Oh, look who is right there,” She heard John’s distant voice inside her head and turned to look at where he was waving. “Hey, it’s Sara.” _

_ Oh no!!!! _

_ Ava lowered her head to avoid looking at Sara. She drank her milkshake so fast to make her brain go numb and maybe that would make her look distracted enough to not act awkward towards Sara. This was ridiculous because Sara had seen her drunk, vomiting on a sidewalk and as if it was not enough she had dinner with Ava’s family. So many unnecessary awkward situations their relationship should already have gone a little further. Why was her heart beating so fast as Sara approached their table? Not to mention all the times they made out and were pretty close to actually do it in that stupid dinner night. Now things cooled down and she felt extremely awkward and it was weird because she usually didn’t care about what people think, right? Except… _

_ “Hey… guys,” Sara said, seemingly surprised. "What's up?" _

_ Her presence beside Ava’s side of the table startled Ava and she gave a little jump in her seat. _

_ “Hi… Sara,” Ava said, trying to look collected, making Gary frowning at the unusual tone of voice she used. _

_ “I thought you were at Nate’s, love. You guys didn’t use to hang out on Saturdays?” John asked absently. _

_ "Oh yeah we usually do, but today Nate had a lot of homework so…" she trailed off, looking at Ava and before she could continue Gary interrupted. _

_ “Don’t you want to join us? Ava’s annoyed because she got to be the third wheel.” _

_ “I’m definitely not?!” She answered instantly, anger shaking her voice. _

_ Sara’s eyes went slightly wide for a moment and she smiled thoughtfully. _

_ "Please don't listen to him… I'm just fine." Ava insisted, a faint flush tinged her cheeks. She didn’t know why on Earth she was feeling nervous she had already decided to put this thing with Sara behind her. _

_ Sara seemed to be tempted by Gary’s invitation and for a moment Ava felt an odd feeling grow inside her making her stomach twist with an unrequited expectation of being around her again, but then Sara sighed and looked away as if she was searching for someone. _

_ "I'm sorry, guys, I really wanted to," She answered, looking at Ava, her eyes softened a little. "But hmm, I've planned to meet a friend," Ava watched her waving at someone and tilted her head to follow Sara's gaze. _

_ It was a girl, blond, she was wearing glasses and had a lovely smile. Ava narrowed her eyes trying to see if it was someone from their school but she never had seen that girl before. _

_ The girl waved back, She smiled at Sara and Ava felt her stomach twist. _

_ "See you guys around…" Sara said reluctantly and tilted her head to look directly at Ava. She squeezed the girl's shoulder gently, "It's nice to see you, Ava." _

_ Oh great definitely amazing! Ava grinned back and just nodded at her, not trusting in her voice to say anything. Her only need was to leave that place as soon as she could. It has been a long time since she felt that small or as if she just lost something. _

_ "Hey, baby girl… I'm so sorry," Gary said, his voice cut across her thoughts. _

_ "What??" _

_ John looked at her, understanding dawned in his eyes and he smiled. "I didn't know you have a thing for damaged women, love. We have that in common, I guess." _

_ "Sara's not damaged," She answered, annoyed. Her eyes went wide realizing what she just implied. _

_ "So you do have a crush on Sara?" He asked and a corny smile crossed Gary’s face. _

_ "What? No!!" Ava said, trying to huff out a laugh but coming out a squawk instead. _

_ "You're a terrible liar, love." _

_ "Stop calling me that, please," Ava rolled her eyes. _

_ "You should call her… or text," Gary simply said, dipping one of his fries in the ketchup. "It won’t kill you being honest about your feelings.” _

_ "Yeah, right," She replied with her face wrinkled in disgust. _

_ Why was she talking about her personal life near John Constantine anyway? And why suddenly Gary was being so wise? _

_ Since she met Sara, Ava felt her world turned upside down and all the things she was always so sure about, suddenly faded away. _

_ "I've to go. This place sucks!" _

_ "Oh, come on, if you leave now she’ll think it's because of her," Gary said and she sat back immediately, sighing. _

_ No way in fucking hell she would give Sara that pleasure. _

_ "What happened?" He asked. _

_ Well, she didn't know how to answer because she didn't know exactly what happened. Maybe life was what happened. Or bad timing, fear of what that means. Ughh, she absolutely hated feelings. _

_ "Nothing happened," She said, sighing. _

_ "Please, Monday you two were super close." _

_ "Well, as a matter of fact, a lot of things have happened since Monday, Gary…" _

_ A look of scorn flashed across John’s face and he laughed. _

_ Ava rolled her eyes and turned to stare at Gary, "I'm not gonna talk about this with your booty call here." _

_ "Well, I'm pretty close to Sara. Maybe I could help you, pet." _

_ Ava felt her cheeks becoming hot. _

_ "Oh my god, you two slept with Sara Lance." _

_ "No, we didn't… I didn't," She said defensively, her voice rising a little. _

_ "There's no shame in that, Sharpe," John assured, a sardonic smile showing in the corner of his mouth. “Sara’s remarkable.” _

_ Ava huffed out an annoyed breath. _

_ “I know that!” _

_ She slightly turned her head, her eyes searching for where Sara was sitting. The other girl said something and then Sara turned to look back at Ava. _

_ "Shit," she said when Sara smiled at her and nodded. _

_ "Well, I'm fucked up, " she let out a frustrated sigh and stared at Gary. "Because of you, she's gonna think I like her." _

_ "Me??" Gary looked outraged. "What did I do?" _

_ "Don't you want to join us?" She repeated what Gary had said, with a mockery tone. "Seriously?" _

_ "I was trying to help you since you have lost your ability to form full sentences." _

_ "What?! I didn't, well –" She cut herself off. Gary really hit a nerve on her. "You know what, I don't like this new version of you." _

_ She gestured towards him, "This hostility is my thing." _

_ "I'm not being hostile, princess." _

_ Ava opened her mouth to answer but John raised his hand. "Look, as much as I'm enjoying this chat, people are starting to give us some looks." _

_ Ava glanced over the area and sank into her chair. "Sorry." _

_ "It's alright, I know this passive-aggressive behavior is your coping mechanism." _

_ Ava scowled. She mentioned to answer him properly but shut her mouth right away not knowing what to say. _

_ "Don't worry, I'll be there for you when you realized you liked this girl but was too dumb to admit." _

_ John laughed hard. _

_ Ava turned to look at him, "okay, dude. We aren't friends so you can’t judge me." _

_ "I'm not judging you, pet." He said. "I’m just delighted by the authentic way you face reality." _

_ "And I think you smell like an old pub that hasn't been clean for a long time." _

_ "Oh please, you gonna make me blush." _

_ "you know this is fun, we should do this more often,” Gary said, smiling with satisfaction. _

_ Ughh, he was being so annoying. Having sex with Constantine really massaged his ego, she missed old insecure Gary but she was happy for him. _

_ But it was a matter of time until he got his heart broken. _

_ Ava propped her elbow on the table, resting her chin on her hand. She looked away not focusing on any point, “I don’t know, Gary, when it comes to me and Sara, I never know where we stand.” _

* * *

Sara was leaning against a car when Ava opened the door of her house. She was using a white tank top, ripped black jeans and combat boots. She smiled and Ava felt the tiny hairs in her arms stand up. No matter how much you’d run away, some things end up reaching you. 

Why did it have to be this way? This wasn’t what she had planned.

She was a pretty successful child, and regardless of her rebel phase in senior year she did have plans for the future and it didn't involve living with her dad after her thirties or walking through her porch in Sara's car direction. 

She rolled her eyes at the coincidence. Life really finds it’s ways to be ironic. She felt as if she just opened a door to the past. Years and years ago. She did this so many times and then she promised herself never doing it again. 

The last time she ever sat in the passenger side of Sara's car.

A day before the fatidic night when everything fell apart. She was so foolish, almost giving up on all her plans to leave Star City just because of a girl, and then, the night after, she was running away from that stupid prom in her dad’s car and cursing the air Sara was breathing and now look at them. Driving to the airport to pick up her aunt for Nora's wedding. 

Nora's wedding. With Ray. Nora was marrying Ray Palmer. Sara's best friend. Sara, who broke her heart to help Ray date Nora. It was just the weirdest and yet painful circle ever. 

Sara Lance, who was now leaning against her car, waiting for Ava. The car was different now, the woman was older, more collected than the teenager she was someday. 

The woman in front of her continued to smile and Ava sighed but smiled back.

She made her way and only when she was a step aside from Sara, she realized this was the first time they'd be alone and inside a car so no other place to go if things get too awkward. 

"Hey… Sara," Her eyes locked with Sara’s and she threw a dry smile. 

"Hi,” Sara narrowed her eyes. "You look..." 

"Tired…," Ava completed, sighing. "I didn't sleep very well last night.” She tilted her gaze to the package in Sara’s hands. “What is this?" 

"Oh, I brought you breakfast,” She handed the package to Ava. “There’s coffee too…” Sara felt slightly uncomfortable under Ava’s thoughtful gaze. “Look… I could pick her up on my own so you could stay and have some rest…"

Why did Sara bring her coffee? Why did she have to be so caring towards her? it didn’t help Ava’s attempts to stay indifferent. 

"Hmm,” She took the paper bag. “ This was not necessary… and, hmm... I'm on a path to be a good sister and it didn't involve you stealing my moment." 

“Wow,” Sara’s eyes held a flash of shock as she turned to open the passenger door to Ava. "whatever, Ava." 

Ava nodded and got in the car, after adjusting her seatbelt, she opened the paper bag. Letting out a deep sigh, she groaned at the delicious smell of coffee. She waited for Sara to settle in the driver's seat and turned her head to face her. 

“Thank you, for… You know…” Ava gave a small nod towards her lap.

“You’re welcome,” Sara smiled and got the car started. 

Ava let out another moan, after taking a sip from her coffee. “How did you know?” 

Sara opened a smile, her attention on the traffic above her. 

"Well, I had worked in a coffee shop for a long time in my college days… So, I know these things..."

Ava’s eyes widened at the mention of the coffee shop and her throat got dry, "Right." 

She started to eat the bear claw and occasionally glanced at Sara. She was super focused on the traffic, her hands gripping tightly the wheel and Ava asked herself if something was bothering the other woman, and if she should ask her how she's going.

Communication was never their thing, starting now would be weird. She ducked her head down and took a moment. 

_ "Just say something," _ Ava thought _ , "say that you appreciate her effort to bring you coffee." _

She opened her mouth to speak but her voice got stuck in her throat and she swallowed, hard, letting out a tired breath. 

"If you want to take a nap during the drive… there's a blanket on the back seat, sometimes I used to have some sleep at the hospital, so…" Sara said, totally misreading Ava's behavior.

"It's okay, Sara…" Ava interrupted her, finishing her coffee and turning her head to look at the window. "I told you I'm fine."

She offered Ava a halfhearted smile and tightened her grip. "Okay then." 

She turned on the radio, it was playing _ there she goes by Sixpence None the Richer _and, for a moment, Sara let herself be transported to when she was 17 and had nothing figured out. Who would say she ended up being a doctor. She never saw herself in a "serious profession". Life acted in the most mysterious ways. She smiled and gave a glance towards Ava, looking through the window she was humming softly the song lyrics. 

Sara took a heavy breath, "I love this song…"

Ava slightly jumped in her seat, she turned her head and looked at Sara as if she had forgotten where she was. 

"_ Humm _… Yeah, me too." She touched the bridge of her nose. "This song was playing when we drove from the beach… In Nate's car… we were celebrating something that I'm not quite sure about… but it was nice." 

Sara didn't know what to say back. She didn't remember that much about this particular day and she felt terrible. 

"It was a couple of days before graduation day and…" She trailed off and Sara knew why. "Anyway it was a good memory, I guess…" 

Sara nodded, not allowing herself to say anything and make things worse.

"I mean… the sunset, the tiredness from the beach… the silence and this music playing…" She said, vaguely. "It was…"

"I know," Sara said.

Ava nodded at her. 

They stayed silent for the rest of the drive. Sara was lost in her thoughts when she heard soft snoring coming from the woman beside her. She turned to see Ava sleeping peacefully. She looked relaxed, without that armor she put it on when Sara was around. 

Sara never saw Ava sleeping and a sudden emptiness came to her making her feel as she missed something she never had.

*** 

Ava said that it would be better if Sara stayed in the car while she picked up her aunt. She muttered something about seeing her aunt for the first time in years already would be a weird situation and she didn't need Sara to be there to make it more awkward. 

So she waited in the car. 

This relationship was so weird, it was like they were good and polite towards each other but there was also a limit for that, so if they spent too much time together things would start falling apart. Sara wasn't surprised though. They always walked in a very thin line, even when things were good. 

She saw Ava walking with her aunt towards the car. The older woman was tall like Ava and had short red hair. Sara thought she looked like one of those actresses from old Hollywood. 

Ava was carrying her aunt's luggage and handed it to Sara to put it on the truck. 

"Good morning, Ms. Sharpe," She said, lifting her hand to greet the woman. "I hope you had a nice flight." 

Ava rolled her eyes at her. 

"Oh, thank you, darling," Ruth said. "You're…?"

"Oh, sorry, ma’am. My name is Sara," She smiled. "I'm a family friend." 

Ava rolled her eyes even harder. She was sure Sara was only being nice to annoy her.

She opened the door to the older woman and ignored Ava's pouted face. 

"I'm so excited about Nora's wedding," Ruth said as they left the Airport parking lot. " She deserved it, they have such a beautiful story." 

Ava opened a big smile that never reached her eyes. They just got in the car and she was already talking about the wedding. 

"They're high school sweethearts, this kind of love we didn't see happening anymore, I hope —" 

"Hey, Aunt Ruth," Sara grinned, glancing at her through the mirror. " Are you hungry? I have a bag of snacks if you want anything."

Sara was changing the subject, _ Ava realized. _

"You know, I worked at the Hospital so I used to have a lot of snacks here because I always forget to eat properly when I'm working." 

"_ Oh," _the older woman said, interested, "Of course, you're a doctor??"

"Yeah," Sara answered, smiling politely. "I’m attending physician at the Starling General Hospital." 

"Oh, Randy used to work there too. Before he retired." 

"I know, he was one of my teachers," Sara seemed to be good at entertaining people. "I'm a pediatrician." 

Ava widened her eyes, listening with attention. She didn't know much about Sara's life. _ Of course, she's a kids doctor _, Ava thought, trying not to picture how cute it would be Sara taking care of a baby. No, she definitely didn't need that image burning inside her head. 

She didn't normally think about kids, what's wrong with her? 

" You know, Ava is a doctor too," Aunt Ruth said, pulling Ava from her thoughts. leaning forward to approach them. "Not a serious doctor though." 

"Seriously???" She scoffed, tilting her head to look at Aunt Ruth. 

"Well, darling, if someone is dying who will be able to save them?" 

She answered with a groan, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

"She's a history doctor…right, Ava?" 

"Really?" Sara shook her head, her eyes focused on the traffic, she glanced at Ava from the corner of her eye. "I didn't know that."

"Oh, yeah, it's not an important thing to know since I'm not a real doctor, right, aunt Ruth??"She pulled a mocking face towards her aunt but softened her voice tone to reply Sara, "And I'm not a history doctor, my Ph.D. is in Anthropology. "

"That's pretty cool," Sara replied and Ava noticed the little smile 

Ava didn't say anything back. She nodded with a small smile and turned to look forward. 

"Anyway, Aunt Ruth, if you want anything to eat it's in this backpack beside you," Sara smiled, once again looking through the mirror. 

***

They found a comfortable silence to be. Thanks to the Universe, Aunt Ruth was too focused on her magazine to say anything to put them in another awkward talk. 

"Oh, it just occurs to me," she said, excited. "When Nora and Ray have their first child you're gonna be the kid's doctor. Fascinating." 

"_ Oh, well–" _

"This is so beautiful. That you were able to keep this friendship, it's just poetic."

Ava scoffed, loudly.

"Anything you want to add, sweetheart?" 

Ava’s arms crossed defensively and turned her head to give Sara a quick coldly look, "No, not really." 

Sara was slightly taken back at the hurtful tone in Ava's voice. She tried her best to throw a glance of apology at the taller woman but Ava was already staring out the window. 

"As I was saying… It's beautiful to love someone for such a long time, it's rare." The older woman said, already tilting her head at her magazine's direction. "I hope you find that someday, kiddo..." 

Ava didn't say anything back. She bit the inside of her cheek trying to stop the words she wanted to say. 

***

The car pulled up in front of Randy’s house. Sara gave herself a second and let out a quiet sigh of relief, on her side, Ava's head fell back against her seat and she also sighed in relief. She moved to open the door and stepped out without saying a word at Sara. The taller woman opened the door to her aunt while Sara paced to take the luggage from the truck. 

“Randy Sharpe be a man and help the ladies with my luggage,” the older woman yelled when Ava’s father opened the door and walked towards them. 

“Oh, I was so excited, I can’t believe I’m finally seeing you,” He opened his arms at her and they hugged tenderly. He turned to look at Sara, “You have no idea of how hard to make this woman get on a plane.” 

Aunt Ruth slapped his shoulder and said, “The things I do for these girls, right? I hope Ava takes a long time to get married, because I’m not willing to make another trip like this anytime soon.”

Stepping in Sara’s side, Ava sighed deeply. “No need to worry about that.”

Randy took the luggage and turned with his sister to walk, “I already told you should come live with us.” 

Sara watched them, in silence.

“I can’t believe I’m finally off the car,” Ava said.

Sara laughed, running her hand through her hair. She crossed her arms over her chest, “So, I see now from where you got your stature…” Ava raised a brow at her and she explained, “... Your dad's family. They’re abnormally tall.”

Ava scoffed, “_ shut up.” _

“I’m saying… You’re like, I don’t know, a 10 inches taller than an average person’s supposed to be,” Sara insisted. 

“Okay, you suck at math,” Ava said. “and I’m not that tall you’re just too small so you see the world from a different perspective.”

Sara laughed and opened her mouth to say something but she closed again, turning to look, her eyes flickering over Ava’s stoic posture. 

They watched in silence Randy and Ruth walking towards the porch. “I’m so tired of this day and it’s not even lunchtime yet,” Ava said.

“You should rest, this morning was tough. I mean... I_ – _ Uhm, I better go…” She nodded, pointing her thumb over the shoulder towards her car. “ Yeah, I better go.” 

Sara turned to leave without waiting for an answer. 

_ “Where are you going, dear?” _Sara heard aunt Ruth’s saying and turned to look. The older woman raised a brow, looking at her questioningly. 

“Oh, sorry,” Sara felt a sudden awkwardness as if she was meeting her parent's girlfriend for the first time. She shoved her hands inside her back pockets, not knowing what to do with her hands. “Hum… I have to go.”

“What?? Absolutely not! You’ll stay and have lunch with us.” this time was Ava’s father saying. 

_ Oh, no. Just say you have something from work to deal with and are super busy. _

“I don’t wanna disturb. You guys probably have a lot to catch up.” She said instead. 

She glanced at Ava begging for help but the only thing Ava was capable of doing was opening her mouth and then closing again as if her brain wasn’t processing the things she needed to say. 

“Dad, come on, we already have taken advantage of Sara’s goodwill. She needs to go now.” Ava said, looking more collected than a second before. 

“I insist,” Aunt Ruth said, smiling tenderly. “You’ve been so friendly, I’m dying to know you more, dear.” 

Ava rolled her eyes, her aunt's words almost giving her a stroke. She whispered an annoyed “_ give me a break” _that only Sara heard.

Sara raised her arms in surrender and smiled, “Well, I can not say no to that, right??” 

She watched Ava’s eyes widened as she made her way to where Aunt Ruth and Mr. Sharpe were standing. Turning to look at the other woman again, she said: 

_ “Come on, Sharpe. If I have to deal with this, you have to.” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all I want to apologize for taking so long to update. But I had some reasons. 
> 
> This pandemic really screwed me up. Last month, I lost one of the most important people in my life. She couldn't resist this aggressive virus and it has been very difficult to deal with and at some point I wondered if I should stop writing. I couldn't, however. Writing is one of the few things that helps me deal with reality and I don't want to miss it. 
> 
> So here we are. I really hope you have fun reading and I'll try to update more frequently. 
> 
> This year have been so so hard. Take your time to do the things you need. Tell the people you love how much they're important to you and how special they are. 
> 
> We never know what tomorrow will bring.
> 
> I hope you have fun reading and if you want, please, leave a comment with what you guys are thinking about the story and if there's something you want see, or something i need to change or explore futher. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, kudos, bookmarks and views. You guys are awesome.


	11. Well I'm in no hurry, you don't have to run away this time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) Its me again
> 
> How are you guys?
> 
> So, I'm feeling weirdly inspired and even with college and (ya know life) i wrote a lot the past few days. I praying that this feeling to continue so i could publish more often. 
> 
> The tittle is a lyric from a song called "Come here by Kath Bloom" and I recommend you to listen when u get to the part that Past!Avalance meet at the music store. 
> 
> I'm so sorry for any mistakes this may have. As I said before English is not my mother language. 
> 
> Thanks to my baby Gabs for always helping. 
> 
> Have fun guys, i'll meet you at the other side.

_ “Okay, what are you not telling me?” The girl asked her. _

_ “What?!” _

_ “Don’t play dumb, Sara,” She pointed. “The girl was looking at us and not only looking. She was staring.” _

_ “She wasn’t staring, Felicity. She was only… Curious.” A smirk appeared in the corner of Sara’s face. _

_ She turned again to look at Ava and their eyes met for a brief moment. She nodded at the taller girl, biting her lower lip, Ava nodded back and Sara noticed the other girl trying to hide her smile before turning away to talk with Gary and John. _

_ “Oh, come on, what is this?” _

_ Sara smiled, looking down at her hands for a moment. She bit her lip again trying to hold back her excitement. Not wanting to open up too much about her feelings because if she did this, then they will be a fact and once they were stated she would have to face the truth. _

_ The truth about her feelings for Ava. _

_ “It’s nothing… She is just a friend,” Felicity huffed with mockery and Sara rolled her eyes, “Well, it’s true. She’s a friend… A friend that I may have kissed, so what?” _

_ Felicity looked at her in disbelief. _

_ "Well, I can be friends with people I kissed, it's my thing, you know that." _

_ "So you're not kissing her anymore?" _

_ Sara's smile faded away. _

_ Things have been oddly different since Wednesday night when Nora opened the door of Ava’s bedroom and caught Sara straddling her sister. Ava almost threw her on the floor to run to the door and slam it in Nora's face. She remembered Ava sitting beside her in the bed, her cheeks flushed as she tried to catch her breath. Sara never saw someone looking so cute and so hot at the same time. _

_ Yeah, she missed her. _

_ It was like she had so much of Ava's presence lately and then... Absence. The next day, Ava was weird. She was late for their class and when the bell rang she stormed out of the classroom immediately. _

_ "I don't know…" She answered, shrugging. "It's complicated." _

_ She didn't want to talk about Ava, Sara was afraid that if she talked about what's going on the whole thing would be real. _

_ Her lies would be real. She wasn’t ready to face that yet. _

_ So if Ava wanted to avoid her as much as possible, Sara wouldn't be the one stopping her. Maybe it was a good thing, maybe it was the universe sending a sign that this would end badly and she should walk away. _

_ “So, are we here to talk about you and Oliver or me?” _

_ *** _

_ In the next few days, they continued running into each other in the school hallways, but only a few words were exchanged before the class began. Both were a little uncomfortable talking to each other. It was weird because a week ago they were fine. _

_ “What happened?” _

_ Sara’s eyes left the book she was reading as she raised her head to look at Ray standing next to her. _

_ She waved at the silence sign hanging on one of the library's walls and returned to her reading. _

_ "What happened?" He whispered, conspiratory, slightly tilting over the table so Sara could hear him better. "between you and Ava." _

_ Sara rolled her eyes. "Nothing happened," She muttered. _

_ "Sara, we are running out of time." _

_ "I can't force her to do something she doesn't want, Ray." _

_ He frowned, "I thought you two were getting along. I don't get it, something happened at that dinner?" _

_ "Look, you have to relax, okay?" Sara didn't want to talk about that with him. "Things are gonna be okay." _

_ He slightly nodded, still unsure. _

_ She rolled her eyes again, "look, I tried, okay? But she's not that interested." _

_ "Well, you might want to know that John said Charlie and Charlie said to me that Ava's reaaally into you. Like a train crash,” He rambled, ignoring Sara’s lack of interest. “I don't believe that much because Nora said Ava's incapable of feeling anything other than rage, but who knows??" _

_ Sara looked at him, a little shocked, she opened her mouth to answer but shut a second after. She returned her eyes to the book, "Well, If she likes me she really had a weird way of showing it." _

_ "Well… maybe she has troubles to express..." Ray said, toughfully. _

_ "If she's really into me don't you see how this makes everything worse?" _

_ "What?" _

_ “I don’t wanna play with her feelings, I…” _

_ Ray looked at her as if he just saw something he wasn’t seeing before. _

_ “It wouldn’t get worse if her interest is matched… To yours.” _

_ Sara snorted still with her eyes locked in the book, “Yeah, because it’s always that simple.” _

_ Ray frowned at Sara's bitter answer. _

_ "Is everything fine, cap?" _

_ "Yeah, why?" She replied, still looking at the book, not giving him attention. _

_ “Nothing…” He answered, his eyes studying her figure. “You know you can talk to me, right?” _

_ “Yes,” Sara looked at him and smiled. “Thank you, buddy,” She closed the book and, after packing her things in her backpack, she got up and turned to look at him. _

_ Ray was frowning. _

_ “Look, buddy, everything is just fine. It’s just, you know, our finals will start in a couple of weeks and I need to get some study done.” _

_ His eyes widened and he nodded before shooting her a smile. Apparently satisfied with the answer she gave. _

_ Well, that wasn’t completely a lie, she needed, in fact, to have some study done. However, it wasn’t entirely true. She had been avoiding her friends too, mostly Ray. Since things improved between him and Nora, it was more annoying to be around him. When he wasn’t talking about the girl, he was asking Sara about Ava, if she already asked Ava to go to Prom with her. _

_ So when he said Ava was into her, only made things worse. If she was ignoring Sara because she got bored and didn’t want to see Sara anymore would be easier to deal with _

_ *** _

_ Sara entered the record store not exactly sure of what she was looking for. She enjoyed just walking there, looking through albums, choosing something random and heading to one of the listening booths to listen before deciding if she should buy it or not. _

_ As she turned left, Sara spotted what seemed to be Ava's back. She was in the part of the store where the instruments were exposed. With her back to where Sara was, Ava was sitting on a bench playing what looked like a bass. Sara only heard a soft noise coming _

_ With a slight smile, Sara looked intensely at Ava. _

_ She stood there for a moment. Not sure if she should interrupt Ava's privacy or keep going with what she was doing before. _

_ So many things she wanted to say, not exactly sure of where to start. She had to convince Ava to go to the prom with her, after that she can open up about what’s going on. _

_ She decided to go talk with her anyway. _

_ “hey, you…” She said, trying to sound charming but Ava was with a headset, probably listening to something while playing and didn’t even notice Sara’s presence there. _

_ If she wasn't feeling like an idiot a minute ago, when she watched Ava playing the bass, she was feeling now. Her knuckles became too white of how tight she was holding the albums. Maybe it was better just to leave and pretend that moment never happened. _

_ Sighing with annoyance, she turned back to walk directly to the cashier, without even listening to the albums first. _

_ “What are you doing here?” _

_ “Ava!! Hey,” Sara smiled awkwardly. Slightly opening her arms, not exactly sure of what to do with her hands. _

_ “Oh jesus, are you following me again, Lance?” Ava accused her, and Sara couldn’t decide if she was playing with her or if she was really pissed. _

_ “No??” Sara defended herself, with a faux tone of indignation, only trying to hide her embarrassment. “I’m buying CD’s,” She raised her hand that was holding the albums and pointed across the corridor to where the small glass booth was. “...and I was walking to the listening booths when I spotted you here.” _

_ She wrinkled her nose at the end of her sentence, of course, Sara did not reveal anything about watching Ava playing the stupid bass for more than a minute. _

_ “Oh, right,” Ava looked a little awkward, her guard was down for a moment and then she straightened her spine, turning a moment to hang the bass back at where it was. “Anything interesting?” _

_ “What?” Sara frowned and her eyes widened when Ava nodded in the CD’s directions. “Oh, yeah, I don’t know. I didn’t listen yet.” _

_ “Oh, right…” _

_ Sara approached the other girl and raised her hand with the CD, "Would you like to go listen to... with me... in the booth?" _

_ She looked at her a little nervously and Ava didn’t say anything back right away, she seemed to be considering her choices. Sara bit her lower lip, waiting in silence. Afraid if she said anything else Ava would go back to her corner, pulling on her defensive mode. _

_ Ava, on the other hand, was intrigued by how Sara seemed to be struggling with something. Maybe she felt insecure too? Impossible. No. Not the cool, composed Sara Lance, who named herself and her bunch of idiots as ‘Legends’. _

_ She probably never felt insecure. Her lack of self-judgment was something very obvious. So what was that? _

_ “Yeah, okay,” She said and Sara pulled a relief smile. “why not?” _

_ They walked over to the booth and entered. Sara took the album out and put it on the turntable. They leaned against opposite walls in the small glass booth, on the wall parallel to them had an open tipper bringing daylight increasing the light of the place. It was possible to feel a fine breeze and the noise of the rain that started to intensify. _

_ Although as the music started to play and they concentrated on listening to it, the atmosphere became heavier. Ava put her hands behind her back and directed her gaze at the window. _

_ “There’s a wind that blows in from the north _

_ And it says that loving takes its course _

_ Come here, come here…” _

_ Ava removed her hands from behind her back and crossed her arms against her chest, she glanced subtly at Sara and then returned to look at the window. She felt a cold sweat in the back of her neck, the booth felt warm but the breeze coming from outside the window created an overwhelming atmosphere. _

_ “No, I’m not impossible to touch _

_ I have never wanted you so much. _

_ Come here… Come here.” _

_ She wanted to believe that the overwhelming feeling was created by the weather. Not because of how the music lyric brought to the surface the uncertainty of their relationship. She glanced at Sara again. The shorter girl was watching the music player carefully almost as if she was counting the seconds of the song in the display. _

_ “Have I never laid down by your side _

_ Baby, let's forget about this pride _

_ Come here _

_ Come here…" _

_ Sara never dared herself to look at anything but that damn display. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed Ava’s changing her position as the music played. Why did the universe hate her so much? Why didn't she choose another singer or another song? _

_ She felt stupid, that song saying to them all the things she never allowed herself to think. Sara thought about the moments she shared with Ava, they were never capable of saying the right thing. _

_ Sara felt sudden loneliness. Too lost in her mind she didn’t notice Ava looking at her phone. _

_ “I better go… Sara…” She said, sighing. “I have something… to do…” _

_ “Oh, that’s okay, that’s okay,” She replied, awkwardly, and stopped the music. _

_ “See you around,” Ava said before walking away. _

* * *

Sara closed the door behind herself and leaned her head against it. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. She stood there for a minute, allowing the sense of security that came from her apartment to put the day's events out of her mind.

She was at home now. Away from Ava Sharpe, her family, and all that wedding talk. Away from the place where she had to avoid Ava’s bickering and pretend everything was fine. 

“What are you doing?” Mona asked. 

Sara opened her eyes to see the girl and Nate at the table, playing cards. She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. 

“I can’t believe I’m finally at home,” She replied, kicking her boots and socks off and sighing relieved as she felt the cold floor under her feet. “I thought this day would never end.” 

“That bad?” Nate asked. 

"They made me stay for lunch." She entered the kitchen after taking off her jacket and throwing it on the couch. She took a glass from the cupboard and poured herself a big glass of wine.

She slid into a chair next to Nate and continued, "The only good thing is that Aunt Ruth was so in love with Ray and the wedding that there was no room for her to notice..." She lowered her voice but kept a sarcastic tone and, staring at her glass, continued, " the tense atmosphere between us." 

“I thought things were better between you two.”

“Well, it was… But then someone mentioned the lovely story of how Ray and Nora started dating in high school for her to shut herself up in a shell and all the progress we made to coexist with civilization had shriveled leading to sarcastic glances, bitter comments or heavy silence.”

“That’s awful,” Mona said. "Why didn't you come back after driving them?" 

Mona said as it was an obvious thing to do and Sara frowned confused. 

"Yeah... I don't know, they asked me to stay for lunch and I couldn't say–'' she cut herself off, realizing something and, immediately, her shoulders slumping. "I'm still hurting her ..." She blurted out. “I can't help it, I... My presence hurts her and I choose to be there. I didn't have to offer to help them pick up her Aunt." 

"I'm sorry," said Mona, taking Sara's hand and giving it a little squeeze. “but you're still attached to her, maybe if you tried to talk with her, figured things out…” 

“No way. Impossible,” Sara refused, her features hardened immediately. That subject was something she buried a long time ago. “Talking about would only open old wounds.”

Nate and Mona opened their mouth to reply but Sara continued.

“What I really need is this wedding to be over so I can move back with my life as it was before she came back." 

"Well, she's gonna be Ray's sister in law and you being Ray's best friend put the two of you closer, even if you don't want to." 

"I'm hoping that after the marriage they'll move on with their family and our relationship will be distant." She explained.

"What?" Nate replied, frowning his eyes at her. "And what about our Fridays…"

"Well, hopefully, Ray will be busy. I'm gonna be busy… you know, life moves on." 

Nate still looked at her surprised by what she was saying. 

"Look, dude, I know it's hard but it's something you have to deal with… People grow apart. You really think Ray's gonna live here forever and the two of you will be roommates?"

Mona widened her eyes.

"Okay, Sara, I think we understood your point there's no need to be more explicit about this." She said. 

Sara laughed bitterly and then sighed. 

"Sorry, " she said, standing up. "I'm gonna try to sleep. This day was too much." 

She took the wine bottle with her and turned in the middle of the path to her room and looked at Nate, "... but if you want my opinion, you should ask Ray how life's gonna be after his marriage. Ask him about the apartment." 

***

_ "I can't believe you did this," _Ray said after she picked up his call. 

"What?" She said rubbing her eyes, her brain fuzzy with sleep, Sara groaned and changed to a sitting position in her bed. 

She leaned over the bedside table to take her watch. _ It's 11 pm, _ she slept for more than 4 hours. 

"You told him to ask me about the apartment, Sara," Ray said, worried.

Placing a hand on her forehead. She lay down again and let her eyes flutter shut. The call woke her up, making her heart race and now she was trying to calm herself down. 

" Ray, calm down. Everything is fine, " She said. "You have to talk with him eventually." 

"I was waiting for the right moment…" 

"Look, the right moment doesn't exist. The only moment you have is right now. If you take too long you're gonna lose his friendship."

"_ Well– _"

"I was helping you, now you only have to say the truth. Is not that hard, Ray."

Sara took a deep breath. Maybe Ray didn't deserve the sharpness in her tone but she was so tired of the wedding, his relationship with Nora and how their happiness was a constant reminder of what she did to Ava. 

"I guess you're right," He said, after a moment of silence. 

"I probably am, buddy." 

After saying goodbyes, they hang up the call. Sara put her phone beside her in the bed and stared at the ceiling.

The memories of the day came to her mind again and she drifted away. She didn't think she would be at Ava's house ever again. It was strange to be there without Ray or Nora, they were the glue that bound her with anything related to Ava. 

Sara thought about how excited Aunt Ruth was to talk about the wedding, asking for any details about the sweet couple and she let herself get into the chatting. The older woman even started to ask her questions about her work at the hospital. Sara couldn't help but be pleased while talking about herself. 

From across the table, she remembered Ava watching the conversation mostly quiet, only saying a few words when someone asked her something. 

"I'm a jerk," Sara said to her empty room. 

It was something she did without even noticing but she wanted to hurt Ava. Deep inside herself, an emotion she didn't comprehend very well wanting her to show herself when Ava was watching. 

_ "Why? _" 

Is she seeking Ava's approval? Or to show her that she was doing just fine unlike Ava's expectations of her. Sara remembered the times Ava called her a screw up back when they were at high school and had to partner up in a chemistry lab. 

"I don't need Ava's approval," Sara said, moving to leave the bed. "I didn't need back then and I certainly don't need now." 

She decided to go for a walk. Maybe fresh air will help her clear her thoughts. 

***

They decided to meet at the club half an hour before the show starts. The show was kinda private, Sara identified some of Ray's friends and she supposed there were people he knew from work and other rich people. The kind of people she remembered seeing in one of the events Oliver and his family organized.

She turned, placing her elbows on the bar balcony and looked at the small crowd. 

"You did the right thing, you know.." Sara turned her head to the side and saw Ava standing next to her, but looking at the bar. The woman took Sara's frown as a need to explain, "Nora told me what happened." 

Sara snorted, taking another sip of her drink. 

"I don't know, Sharpe. From where I see, I just ruined Ray's bachelor party and his friendship with Nate." 

She glanced over to where Nate was sitting. He was with his head down staring at his drink. She looked back at the dancefloor, Ray and Nora were dancing and, from time to time, Ray looked worried in Nate's direction. 

The only thing she did was make everything worse than it was. 

"Someone needed to tell him the truth. Maybe if it took more time would only make things worse." She replied, her voice being smothered by the noises of the club. "You don't have to always resolve your friends’ problems, Sara. They are not your children." 

Sara looked deeply into Ava's eyes and nodded vaguely. "I guess you're right… but I should have chosen a better moment to bring this up. Or knowing exactly how to say..." 

"Well, timing isn't your best trait." She said and finished her drink in one gulp. 

"Awww, look at you complimenting me," Sara said with a fake smile. "Be careful or people are gonna think you softened." 

"What??" Ava scoffed. Her eyes lit up with faux indignation, before a smirk appearing in the corner of her mouth. "You clearly lost your ability to understand what I said."

"Nah, you can't take back," Sara replied, turning at the balcony and waving her hand to the barman. "You said that timing isn't my best trait which implies that you think I have quality although the timing isn't one of them." 

"Stop twisting my words, Lance, or I'll retreat what I said before." 

Sara laughed and Ava wrinkled her nose, her expression softened into a smile. 

Sara sighed, gazing at her and when Ava turned her head to avoid Sara's eyes, she turned as well and looked again between Ray and Nate. 

"They're fine, you know?" Ava said so quietly that she had to approach her body closer to where Sara was when she noticed the other woman's frown. 

Sara nodded vacantly, the way someone does when they can't exactly hear what the person said. 

"I said, they're fine," Ava repeated, closer to Sara's. She nodded in the direction Sara was looking before. 

"_Oh…_ _Yeah, _I know… I just–" Sara said, vacillating. “Sometimes I tend to..."

"Assume responsibilities from things that don't depend on you?" 

Sara looked at her in shock. The loud music and the light made that moment they were sharing more intimate. Sara felt naked in front of Ava's eyes. _ What was that? _

_ They were closer now. _So close it was possible for her to feel the heat coming from Ava's body and her alcoholic breathe. Sara's eyes downcast and Ava misread the situation, retracting some inches back 

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to overstep," She said, raising her voice. 

"It's okay, Ava," Sara said, giving a reassuring squeeze on her arm. 

Her eyes flickered over Ava's face and Sara noticed the woman was slightly drunk. 

"Humm…" Ava glanced at the place where Sara's hand was and then back at her eyes before shifting her position to look at the dancefloor. "They seem to be having fun." 

She nodded at the spot where Zari, Charlie and Mona were together dancing. Sara smiled, watching their friends. Occasionally, Zari withdrew her arm around Charlie's waist and they danced closer. Mona seemed to be drunk, bad calculating her moves. More to the middle of the dancefloor Ray and Nora slow danced, their foreheads touching and their eyes closed. 

"What about you, why aren't you dancing too?" She said and sat in one of the bar stools. Ava joined her, taking a seat too.

Ava shrugged, with a frown on her brows. 

" I don't know, I needed a drink more than anything. Besides I don't really like this band." 

She lowered her gaze to watch the barman pouring more wine in Ava's glass, "Tough day?" 

"Yeah," She took a sip from her drink and continued, "My father's house isn't big enough for all his sisters." 

"Aunt Ruth?" 

"She's really something," Ava acknowledged. "And she liked you, apparently." 

"I'm sorry, Ava," Sara said, apologetic. "I was so full of myself, I couldn't…"

"It's okay," She cut her off. "It was not entirely your fault. She loves pissing me off, not only her, by the way, but my dad’s other sisters." 

"That's not right though," Sara replied.

"Nah, sometimes I get it. I wasn't exactly a delightful child and then I left." 

Sara took a deep breath, looking at the woman beside her thoughtful. Ava had never been this open. The drinking was probably helping, Sara remembered how Ava tended to lose a little when she's drunk and apparently, it was still easy for her to get drunk. 

She felt like she was intruding on something Ava wasn't ready to say. 

"Maybe… but they have to respect you regardless of the decisions you make or the way you were," Sara said, calmly. 

That club wasn't the right place to have this kind of conversation, although she and Ava were never in the right place or right time to have important conversations. 

"Yeah, maybe," She replied, looking contemplative despite the alcohol in her system. She shook her head and placed the glass on the balcony. 

Shifting to stand in front of Sara, she extended her a hand and Sara looked at her, frowning.

"Come on, enough of this pity party," She grinned when Sara rolled her eyes. "Let's celebrate with your friends." 

Sara scoffed, "I'm sure he doesn't want me there."

_ "What? _ Bulshit," Ava reached out for Sara's hand and pulled her, giving Sara enough time only to leave her glass on the balcony. 

"Besides, you got him a girlfriend, he's in debt with you forever." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, any thoughts?? 
> 
> I'm trying to write shorter chapters so i wouldn't take so long to update but man it's hard. I hope you guys didn't find this too boring or too long idk.
> 
> Thank you for yr comments and the support. 
> 
> Next chapter: Just a couple days before the wedding, Ava will get to know Sara's bedroom. 
> 
> Stay safe and drink water.


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